I'm so done

[wastedspermcel]

The world we live in is just so fucked (shocking I know), there's no hope for anything or anyone, all the dreams I could've had have been pulverised by the system we were all set up to live in. I might be spewing the same shit other niggas have said, or sv3rige, but it is so over. Every so often I enter a phase of coping that lasts months, but that doesn't mean I'm any less miserable, if anything I experience more psychological turmoil from being confused about my purpose, why I am so miserable and depressed, what even made me end up in this position. The more I try to sugarcoat/drown/block out actual issues the more it affects me, and whilst there's nothing I'll be able to do to fix my unhappiness, I can at least learn more about why it's something that afflicts me and have a clearer train of thought/state of mind.

Rant post, I've got a lot of shit on my mind, and have had even more shit to think about in the past that I wish I could just properly reflect on and discuss with normal people.

 

[wastedspermcel]

Probably nearing towards psychosis

 

[Node]

Nigga i aint readin allat

 

[wastedspermcel]

Nigga i aint readin allat

Did I not expect this?

 

[FredoEstelar]

Nigga I'm reading all that

 

[rata999]

The world we live in is just so fucked (shocking I know), there's no hope for anything or anyone, all the dreams I could've had have been pulverised by the system we were all set up to live in. I might be spewing the same shit other niggas have said, or sv3rige, but it is so over. Every so often I enter a phase of coping that lasts months, but that doesn't mean I'm any less miserable, if anything I experience more psychological turmoil from being confused about my purpose, why I am so miserable and depressed, what even made me end up in this position. The more I try to sugarcoat/drown/block out actual issues the more it affects me, and whilst there's nothing I'll be able to do to fix my unhappiness, I can at least learn more about why it's something that afflicts me and have a clearer train of thought/state of mind.

Rant post, I've got a lot of shit on my mind, and have had even more shit to think about in the past that I wish I could just properly reflect on and discuss with normal people.

Dnr but i like ur pfp

 

[Node]

Did I not expect this?

Expected and requested

 

[Sacrimoon]

Brutal overthinking pill

We all suffering together bro

 

[wastedspermcel]

Yes this is surface level, I couldn't possibly imagine writing out all my shitty problems and anguish

 

[wastedspermcel]

Expected and requested

I guess u could say I didnt like where it went

 

[wastedspermcel]

Brutal overthinking pill

We all suffering together bro

Thinking about stuff without actually sharing those thoughts to anyone for several hours a day has probably caused me legitimate brain damage

 

[alpomer7]

The world we live in is just so fucked (shocking I know), there's no hope for anything or anyone, all the dreams I could've had have been pulverised by the system we were all set up to live in. I might be spewing the same shit other niggas have said, or sv3rige, but it is so over. Every so often I enter a phase of coping that lasts months, but that doesn't mean I'm any less miserable, if anything I experience more psychological turmoil from being confused about my purpose, why I am so miserable and depressed, what even made me end up in this position. The more I try to sugarcoat/drown/block out actual issues the more it affects me, and whilst there's nothing I'll be able to do to fix my unhappiness, I can at least learn more about why it's something that afflicts me and have a clearer train of thought/state of mind.

Rant post, I've got a lot of shit on my mind, and have had even more shit to think about in the past that I wish I could just properly reflect on and discuss with normal people.

Just be confident and get out there, socialise. And I know this hard when depressed but take daily showers. Right girl for you is somewhere out there just put yourself out there

 

[wastedspermcel]

What should I do

 

[wastedspermcel]

Well there is no saving me after all, I clearly developed a fucked up way of thinking and permanent state of mind through social deprivation. Is that even a bad thing though? My life would still be equally shit if I "developed" around neurotypical slaves, but I'd think different, not sure how exactly. Would it not at least @NumbThePain

 

[Sacrimoon]

Thinking about stuff without actually sharing those thoughts to anyone for several hours a day has probably caused me legitimate brain damage

Literally. Haven’t done anything but thinking day in and day out for the past several years, with no one to talk to, to the point where i literally felt so mentally tortured that i broke down in front of my parents and told them about some of the shit that’s going on in my head

 

[wastedspermcel]

Literally. Haven’t done anything but thinking day in and day out for the past several years, with no one to talk to, to the point where i literally felt so mentally tortured that i broke down in front of my parents and told them about some of the shit that’s going on in my head

I will unironically have to start writing stuff down in a journal

 

[Sacrimoon]

I will unironically have to start writing stuff down in a journal

Deadass tell someone. Don’t know your relationship to your parents, but either them or a therapist.
Letting someone know irl wtf was going on inside my head felt like a bit of the burden left my shoulders, even though it obviously doesn’t fix the problem.

But i think the only way to fix the problem is to create a social life, even though i can’t even fucking succeed at this myself.

 

[wastedspermcel]

Deadass tell someone. Don’t know your relationship to your parents, but either them or a therapist.
Letting someone know irl wtf was going on inside my head felt like a bit of the burden left my shoulders, even though it obviously doesn’t fix the problem.

But i think the only way to fix the problem is to create a social life, even though i can’t even fucking succeed at this myself.

I've been having mandatory therapy for a few months but it's so weird to talk about my problems because it's like my brain blocks everything from coming out, and they're just such a scrambled mess overall. It's not because I'm retarded, although I clearly have trouble expressing my emotions, but these are my thoughts we're talking about. I may just be developing schizophrenia or have some other mental disorder.

I think being in a social circle for me is impossible, since no one can understand me or take me seriously. I mean come on, people say aspies can't read emotions but normoids are the least sensitive and empathetic, they don't even consider something could be wrong with you when you shut yourself inside ur room for months.

Even that aside, if I were to get over my depression, anguish, whatever, I still despise the opinions of neurotypical slaves, they just go along with a general soycietal viewpoint (status quo) and brutally eviscerate you for saying something "controversial". Then again everything links together, this and the paragraph above. Idk what to actually think anymore, how I should actually feel. Fuck knows if everything I've said so far is another cope or something that isn't true but what my subconscious made up to give fill in some sort of gap.

Fuck idk anything anymore

 

[Acquiescence]

Fuck idk anything anymore

When in doubt, return to the three noble truths of life:

Hope
Cope
Rope

 

[i like dinos]

insane respect for youre truecell status, but itll get better trust

 

[Sacrimoon]

I've been having mandatory therapy for a few months but it's so weird to talk about my problems because it's like my brain blocks everything from coming out, and they're just such a scrambled mess overall. It's not because I'm retarded, although I clearly have trouble expressing my emotions, but these are my thoughts we're talking about. I may just be developing schizophrenia or have some other mental disorder.

I think being in a social circle for me is impossible, since no one can understand me or take me seriously. I mean come on, people say aspies can't read emotions but normoids are the least sensitive and empathetic, they don't even consider something could be wrong with you when you shut yourself inside ur room for months.

Even that aside, if I were to get over my depression, anguish, whatever, I still despise the opinions of neurotypical slaves, they just go along with a general soycietal viewpoint (status quo) and brutally eviscerate you for saying something "controversial". Then again everything links together, this and the paragraph above. Idk what to actually think anymore, how I should actually feel. Fuck knows if everything I've said so far is another cope or something that isn't true but what my subconscious made up to give fill in some sort of gap.

Fuck idk anything anymore

Yeah it’s hard to put words on you’re stuggles sometimes, but again try your hardest to just force yourself to express yourself.

Normies really are fucking clueless, they couldn’t give less of a shit about how you feel. They probably wouldn’t even gaf if you killed yourself.
But that’s why you need to try and find people more like yourself, who are either nd or have been through horrible mental health, they’re usually a bit more understanding and sympathetic. (i have a hard time with this myself, but i know it’s probably the solution)

But yeah you honestly do sound a bit psychotic, so i would definitely tell my therapist if i were you. Because meds might be the solution if mental illness is the problem

 

[Prøphet]

Thinking about stuff without actually sharing those thoughts to anyone for several hours a day has probably caused me legitimate brain damage

Realest shit I’ve read today