vazOkay
why me
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2026
- Posts
- 207
- Reputation
- 153
jfl at me
I want love, I crave it SOO MUCH, but it feels like I’m always starting at a disadvantage. Like no matter what I do, I’m not the type of person people actually stay for. And then when someone actually gives me attention or affection, it’s like my brain completely breaks and I don’t know how to act normal anymore.
I go from 0 to 100 way too fast. I get attached, I start overthinking everything, I don’t give space because I think space means I’m getting replaced. And then I end up acting clingy and annoying without even trying to. It’s like I can see myself doing it in real time and I still can’t stop it.
And what pisses me off is that it’s not even like I don’t understand it. I understand it perfectly. I just can’t fix it when it actually matters.
So I end up in this loop: want connection → get it → mess it up → get angry at myself → repeat.
I want love, I crave it SOO MUCH, but it feels like I’m always starting at a disadvantage. Like no matter what I do, I’m not the type of person people actually stay for. And then when someone actually gives me attention or affection, it’s like my brain completely breaks and I don’t know how to act normal anymore.
I go from 0 to 100 way too fast. I get attached, I start overthinking everything, I don’t give space because I think space means I’m getting replaced. And then I end up acting clingy and annoying without even trying to. It’s like I can see myself doing it in real time and I still can’t stop it.
And what pisses me off is that it’s not even like I don’t understand it. I understand it perfectly. I just can’t fix it when it actually matters.
So I end up in this loop: want connection → get it → mess it up → get angry at myself → repeat.
