kindinternetman
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- Joined
- Nov 28, 2024
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Listen, the truth is I’m unhappy with my genetics my Face Is slightly above avg. but not truly handsome, I’m 6’1 and that’s slightly above avg (nothing crazy like 6’3-6’4. My Iq is also above average but not genius. My grades in school are above average but never enough to make the deans list. My talent in Muay Thai and Bjj Were above avg but I was never able to progress further. My socializing skills are above avg but never excellent (probably cause my face isn’t excellent.) anyways where do people like me belong? I’m no genius mogger I’m also not a normie or npc: do any of you relate to me? I really wish my facial genetics were better. I wish I didn’t have to starve myself to feel okay when I looked in the mirror. I wish I didn’t have to take lexapro every time I left my house. I wish I didn’t have the pressure from my family to do so well in school. All of the girls with ED out there who struggle socially I feel you. I mean even before I got into looksmaxxing I had an eating disorder just from a bad relationship of food. But looksmaxxing didn’t help at all obv. I know I’m lucky and I understand that. But there is only so much time I can separate my views from my own perspective. Sure I can temporarily look at my life from outside my bubble and feel thankful for what I have. But then I am pulled back in to my perspective and can’t help feeling down. This is not asking for sympathy. I guess I’m just bored on this airplane. Bored and frustrated.
I want surgery but I know I most likely won’t get it. Besides otoplasty for my ears. My mom and gf insist I don’t need it(other surg not oto). That my eyes and nose are fine. I woundnt get an eye area surgery-too expensive and risky. But sometimes I want rhino. The size of my nose should be smaller. I don’t want to look like a girl, but it should be smaller. Fucking shit I used to be such a pretty kid. Oh btw guys. Something horrible happened to me at the store in the airport. I was With my mom and I made eye contact with a white guy, 5’6 and fat. Sub 5 face. I smiled at him at the same time he smiled at me. I felt superior for a fleeting second and then I felt sick and dizzy. All the voices around me went numb and I felt nauseous. I got out of There asap. I want to look good. Sometimes I crave that feeling of superiority, but not like this. It wasn’t fair to him. It just isn’t fair. Fuck I can’t understand this anymore. I’m mentally sane as much as a bp’ed looksmaxxer Can be. It was so great this morning I got to look in the mirror and looked handsome. Of course only with makeup up-what did you think this was Jfl.
So many carbs in Italy. I’m glad I get to go but I hope I don’t get mogged too hard. I don’t want to get Mogged at all please don’t mog me please be kind to me and don’t record me please don’t make me take pictures I don’t want to look at myself anymore. Fuck am all I’m good for is my height? Brutal. All my gfs friends have tall bfs but not as tall as me that’s not what I’m getting at. Brutal reality. And one of them made fun of their ex for being short and wearing a hat that wasn’t pressed all the way down on his head to make himself taller. So bad. If you have ever been around women you’ll know there is no way to be spared from their harsh words unless you are chad face and height and frame. Htn. Low Htn?? Get the Fuck out of here who am I kidding. I’m high Mtn on my best days FUCKC
IM PISSED. that means most days I’m facially Mtn what the Fuck I should just delete all my BP edits and shit since they count as self humiliation. I have an absolute skull tho in size it’s good. I’m like an animal I’m subhuman for my skull size. With my skull size I should be chad with nice orbital bones and maxilla projection.
I’ve been low htn facially irl before. I know it. But the worst part is it’s only happened a few days. When my acne is gone and I’m well rested with no bloat. Also I keep seeing people say bloat is cope. I’m the skinniest guy around due to my ED and when I’m bloated it’s over for me. The worst thing is when I look back at my camera roll and look at the old photos of mine that I thought I looked good in. Only to see the worst low Mtn even tho it was just 1 month ago and i thought I was low htn. I’m such a liar online. Using retouch and angling my face so my nose and eyes don’t look subhuman. Im a fraud and it’s nothing to be proud of.
Mentally I believe I’ve become insane when it comes to my appearance. My brain understands that it might actually die if I consider my face to be bad so it lies to me and makes me feel like I look good.
I want surgery but I know I most likely won’t get it. Besides otoplasty for my ears. My mom and gf insist I don’t need it(other surg not oto). That my eyes and nose are fine. I woundnt get an eye area surgery-too expensive and risky. But sometimes I want rhino. The size of my nose should be smaller. I don’t want to look like a girl, but it should be smaller. Fucking shit I used to be such a pretty kid. Oh btw guys. Something horrible happened to me at the store in the airport. I was With my mom and I made eye contact with a white guy, 5’6 and fat. Sub 5 face. I smiled at him at the same time he smiled at me. I felt superior for a fleeting second and then I felt sick and dizzy. All the voices around me went numb and I felt nauseous. I got out of There asap. I want to look good. Sometimes I crave that feeling of superiority, but not like this. It wasn’t fair to him. It just isn’t fair. Fuck I can’t understand this anymore. I’m mentally sane as much as a bp’ed looksmaxxer Can be. It was so great this morning I got to look in the mirror and looked handsome. Of course only with makeup up-what did you think this was Jfl.
So many carbs in Italy. I’m glad I get to go but I hope I don’t get mogged too hard. I don’t want to get Mogged at all please don’t mog me please be kind to me and don’t record me please don’t make me take pictures I don’t want to look at myself anymore. Fuck am all I’m good for is my height? Brutal. All my gfs friends have tall bfs but not as tall as me that’s not what I’m getting at. Brutal reality. And one of them made fun of their ex for being short and wearing a hat that wasn’t pressed all the way down on his head to make himself taller. So bad. If you have ever been around women you’ll know there is no way to be spared from their harsh words unless you are chad face and height and frame. Htn. Low Htn?? Get the Fuck out of here who am I kidding. I’m high Mtn on my best days FUCKC
IM PISSED. that means most days I’m facially Mtn what the Fuck I should just delete all my BP edits and shit since they count as self humiliation. I have an absolute skull tho in size it’s good. I’m like an animal I’m subhuman for my skull size. With my skull size I should be chad with nice orbital bones and maxilla projection.
I’ve been low htn facially irl before. I know it. But the worst part is it’s only happened a few days. When my acne is gone and I’m well rested with no bloat. Also I keep seeing people say bloat is cope. I’m the skinniest guy around due to my ED and when I’m bloated it’s over for me. The worst thing is when I look back at my camera roll and look at the old photos of mine that I thought I looked good in. Only to see the worst low Mtn even tho it was just 1 month ago and i thought I was low htn. I’m such a liar online. Using retouch and angling my face so my nose and eyes don’t look subhuman. Im a fraud and it’s nothing to be proud of.
Mentally I believe I’ve become insane when it comes to my appearance. My brain understands that it might actually die if I consider my face to be bad so it lies to me and makes me feel like I look good.
