
BonesAndHarmony
Taking a break from the autism
- Joined
- May 29, 2019
- Posts
- 2,017
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This has always been the issue with me. I'm a negative person, often complaining and being sad for no exact reason. I had normies telling me that I "radiate a negative energy" and that I should smile more. Obviously it's not a NT trait because no socially adjusted normie wants to hang out with a miserable sack of shit. Looking back I notice I always worsened the life quality of my closest friends. I remember I had this friend when I was 13 and we used to complain, talk shit about how the world is rotten and unfair, one time we even touched the suicide topic. Then we stopped being in contact to each other because I moved to another city. Funny thing is last year I met him and we talked a bit and I was baffled to see what this guy turned into, a happy, smiling normie always trying to have fun with friends and stuff, I mean right after he stopped talking to me he became 10 times happier. Another friend got tired of my negativity (I tried to introduce him to the Blackpill) and he blocked ms on Whatsapp with the excuse that he is busy and needs some time for himself. I'm like a leech, depriving people of their energy because of my negativity. If you see me I'm always that guy with the empty facial expression, the guy who can't enjoy the moment because he is thinking about how life is shit or about how I was cursed with a long midface and balding. Normies always see my negative personality and as a result stay away from me or don't push for nothing more than a small talk (they don't even try to invite me to parties or games because they know I would just ruin the atmosphere). Classic bluepilled advice for me would be to become a thankful person but I can't. If I was Chad I would be thankful but since I'm not I don't see any reason why I should be thankful to be alive. Also, gratitude doesn't make any sense. Yes, I could have been born as a deformed 4'11 truecel but in the same way I could have been born as a 6'3 Gigachad with perfect hair genetics. It's a zero sum game and gratitude is a big normie cope to make their existence look less pathetic. Only solution for people like me is numbing neurotransmitters with strong meds but I would probably have to take it every day.