Intrusive antisocial thoughts about potentially good people

[Napoleon de Geso]

World is evil place, and overall I see as good thing to be antisocial towards ordinary people, as they just want to drag me into walking their evil ways and living by their evil norms. But after all nasty experiences, rejections, and betrayals, now have various bad feelings even towards potentially good people. One of manifestations, is when someone potentially good and different from ordinary people nicely talking to me, I have bad thoughts like "Why are you talking to me", "Stop talking to me", "Stop messaging me". Maybe thats even more social anxiety stuff than OCD, while I have real OCD too, but anyway, it makes even harder to search for exceptional comrades I need in this evil world. It is even more present in online conversations than in reality, but maybe thats just because only thing left now, when getting matches in dating sites only thousands of kilometers away, unlike in easier times, who ended after 30 and in my place I get only ageist discrimination

Today after few months of matching finally messaged one of my Tinder matches, she looks nice, 19yo (I chronologically twice older), dislikes human world, but lives 3000 kilometers away, so means need online conversation, under my social anciety and bombardement of intrusives. Even feel that in reality it would be either over soon, or easier, and online is some nasty grey zone, wasteful and uncomfortable when no possibility for fast relocation into reality

 

[thickdickdaddy27]

I only read the title but yes I can't trust anyone's intentions anymore

 

[Sprinkles]

not a molecule