Is it bad luck or something else?

Vermilioncore

Vermilioncore

Fear…
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Since I was 15 (I’m in my late 20s now) I noticed that bad things happened more often than not. And they happened in weird patterns. Strange coincidences happened. Like the earth and everything in it was collaborating secretly to destroy my life. I can’t even go into detail because it’s so hard to explain. But everything gets fucked up in strange specific ways as if it’s not just random, but planned. As if someone is doing this rather than just coincidences.

And I’ll never forget…back when I was 10 I was sitting in my bed and I heard a voice say “you better stop”. There was no one home and no one outside. And it was a deep voice like Satan. I think that’s when this curse was put on me. Whatever I did, I didn’t stop doing it and therefore God enabled Satan to take control of my life and try to drive me to suicide.

If you’ve ever read the book “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S Lewis, you’ll get a good idea of what’s happening to me.

In the book, Satan sends this demon to go torture some guy to try to turn him evil and win his soul over. The entire book is told through the “letter” format. Letters sent between the devil and his demon. And the demon tells the devil all the things he is doing to try to get the man to turn evil or kill himself.

At the end of the book, the demon fails to win over the man’s soul. The man dies at a ripe old age and goes to heaven. Satan is disappointed in his demon.

The only difference between my life and his is that I will not remain strong and will kill myself to end this evil curse
 
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You're too aware brother. Wish I was like Don Quixote. Grabbing the world by the balls but actually nothing is happening.
 
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