D
Deleted member 4209
therouxs me
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2019
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I'm using a throw away account if that matters.
My husband (M33) and I (F34) have been together for 12 years, including married for 9 years with two beautiful daughters. I don't know what happened to our sex life. When we first met, we were all over each other and couldn't keep out hands to ourselves. The honey moon phase passed, we settle down together, got married, decided to have a family and we maintained a pretty healthy sex life.
I don't know what has happened, but over the last 3 years our sex life has just went from 100 to 0 out of no where. In the last 3 years, we are having sex on average every 1-2 months. He always tells me no and gives me the same excuses such as being tired or having headache. I've tried to address those excuses because I genuinely care about his needs. I've offered to help out more when things need to be done or tell me to relax more while I take care of any errands, chores, the kids, etc. so he is not tired. He has a history of chronic headaches for as long as I've known him and he responds best to Excedrin Strength (specifically the mix of Acetaminophen, Aspirin, and Caffeine) so I always keep a bottle in stock at the house and in both cars and it usually takes care of the headache within an hour (his words). I also make sure to give him a head and neck massage if its extra bad. I've tackled these excuses and I still rejected.
I've tried other things. We've tried therapy which didn't do much work. He volunteered to get a medical exam which came back normal. I've tried communicating, sexy lingerie, date nights, toys, telling him I understand and leaving the issue alone, going long periods without mentioning a single word about sex, etc. and its always the same results, rejection. It makes me wonder why am I getting a needle jabbed my arms every 3 months for Birth Control if I'm not going to take advantage of it.
I don't think my husband understands how attractive I find him. I so so so think he is extremely hot, as in only my eyes see him, kind of thing. I fantasize about all of the sex we don't have in my dreams about him. I would love to have sex with him everyday if I could even if it is an unreasonable expectation. I love the way he shows his own version of physical affection, such as holding hands and kissing. I love his other qualities too such as his comedic charm, hard working ethic, and being a great father.
This morning I decided to take advantage of our alone time since our kids were spending time with the in-laws and we both didn't have to work today. Both of us went for a run which is perfect because the cool Autumn weather is kicking in and there is a trail that runs in the back of our house we use for running. We both finished our run and decided to walk to a coffee stand that is near by and enjoy the cold weather. We sit down and both start reminiscing about our past such as when we first met, our first date, getting married, favorite moments, etc. It was really romantic. We both smiled, kissed, and laughed all within that moment.
We walk home after we finished our coffee. We both showered together and I tried to hint at him that we could try shower sex. I didn't say anything directly and nothing happened. After that failure, I decided I try a more direct approach. I asked what he wanted to do and he mentioned that he wanted to finish up Criminal Minds (we both are addicted) that we have been binge watching. We both were getting dress after our shower but while I was in the closet out of his view, I quickly put on some lingerie, calling him into the closet, gave him a big kiss and asked if he wanted to do anything else? He seemed shocked. I really thought between our romantic moment while grabbing coffee and his reaction, he was going for it!!! He replied with "I thought we were going to watch our show". I told him I would out in the living room in a few minutes. Who knows, maybe a girl literally throwing herself at a guy is turn off?!?
I don't know what came over me, but as I got into some regular pajamas, I just broke down on and started crying. I just felt so lonely, rejected, ugly, ashamed, just so many negative emotions came at once. It felt like those 3 years of sexual rejection hit me at once. Why t that one you're supposed to be closest with and care about the most doesn't want these special times together.
He came rushing into the room asking if I was okay. I told him why I was crying. I basically end up crying in his lap while he repeatedly apologized. After getting my emotions out, I was no longer in mood. I wouldn't want my husband to give me pity sex because I was crying.
We end up watching a few episodes of our show. He offered to make lunch and pick up groceries while I am at home typing this. I wondered what the hell just happened and why did I randomly start crying? Is this even normal? I always good at controlling myself. These questions are more rhetorical than anything. I just wanted to use this to vent. Rant over.
My husband (M33) and I (F34) have been together for 12 years, including married for 9 years with two beautiful daughters. I don't know what happened to our sex life. When we first met, we were all over each other and couldn't keep out hands to ourselves. The honey moon phase passed, we settle down together, got married, decided to have a family and we maintained a pretty healthy sex life.
I don't know what has happened, but over the last 3 years our sex life has just went from 100 to 0 out of no where. In the last 3 years, we are having sex on average every 1-2 months. He always tells me no and gives me the same excuses such as being tired or having headache. I've tried to address those excuses because I genuinely care about his needs. I've offered to help out more when things need to be done or tell me to relax more while I take care of any errands, chores, the kids, etc. so he is not tired. He has a history of chronic headaches for as long as I've known him and he responds best to Excedrin Strength (specifically the mix of Acetaminophen, Aspirin, and Caffeine) so I always keep a bottle in stock at the house and in both cars and it usually takes care of the headache within an hour (his words). I also make sure to give him a head and neck massage if its extra bad. I've tackled these excuses and I still rejected.
I've tried other things. We've tried therapy which didn't do much work. He volunteered to get a medical exam which came back normal. I've tried communicating, sexy lingerie, date nights, toys, telling him I understand and leaving the issue alone, going long periods without mentioning a single word about sex, etc. and its always the same results, rejection. It makes me wonder why am I getting a needle jabbed my arms every 3 months for Birth Control if I'm not going to take advantage of it.
I don't think my husband understands how attractive I find him. I so so so think he is extremely hot, as in only my eyes see him, kind of thing. I fantasize about all of the sex we don't have in my dreams about him. I would love to have sex with him everyday if I could even if it is an unreasonable expectation. I love the way he shows his own version of physical affection, such as holding hands and kissing. I love his other qualities too such as his comedic charm, hard working ethic, and being a great father.
This morning I decided to take advantage of our alone time since our kids were spending time with the in-laws and we both didn't have to work today. Both of us went for a run which is perfect because the cool Autumn weather is kicking in and there is a trail that runs in the back of our house we use for running. We both finished our run and decided to walk to a coffee stand that is near by and enjoy the cold weather. We sit down and both start reminiscing about our past such as when we first met, our first date, getting married, favorite moments, etc. It was really romantic. We both smiled, kissed, and laughed all within that moment.
We walk home after we finished our coffee. We both showered together and I tried to hint at him that we could try shower sex. I didn't say anything directly and nothing happened. After that failure, I decided I try a more direct approach. I asked what he wanted to do and he mentioned that he wanted to finish up Criminal Minds (we both are addicted) that we have been binge watching. We both were getting dress after our shower but while I was in the closet out of his view, I quickly put on some lingerie, calling him into the closet, gave him a big kiss and asked if he wanted to do anything else? He seemed shocked. I really thought between our romantic moment while grabbing coffee and his reaction, he was going for it!!! He replied with "I thought we were going to watch our show". I told him I would out in the living room in a few minutes. Who knows, maybe a girl literally throwing herself at a guy is turn off?!?
I don't know what came over me, but as I got into some regular pajamas, I just broke down on and started crying. I just felt so lonely, rejected, ugly, ashamed, just so many negative emotions came at once. It felt like those 3 years of sexual rejection hit me at once. Why t that one you're supposed to be closest with and care about the most doesn't want these special times together.
He came rushing into the room asking if I was okay. I told him why I was crying. I basically end up crying in his lap while he repeatedly apologized. After getting my emotions out, I was no longer in mood. I wouldn't want my husband to give me pity sex because I was crying.
We end up watching a few episodes of our show. He offered to make lunch and pick up groceries while I am at home typing this. I wondered what the hell just happened and why did I randomly start crying? Is this even normal? I always good at controlling myself. These questions are more rhetorical than anything. I just wanted to use this to vent. Rant over.
