whosnigging
thinking about microbiology
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2026
- Posts
- 220
- Reputation
- 246
i don't even want advice anymore. i don't want another routine, another rating, another "just lock in." i just want someone to hug me and tell me i'm going to be okay. i don't even remember what it feels like to have someone genuinely care without expecting something back. every day feels exactly the same. i wake up already tired, look in the mirror, convince myself i'm making progress for five minutes, then reality hits again. i keep telling myself if i fix one more thing i'll finally be enough, but the finish line just keeps moving. i'm exhausted. i don't even think i want to be attractive anymore. i just don't want to feel so alone all the time.
it's embarrassing because a hug is such a small thing, but i'd probably break down if someone gave me one. not out of happiness, just because i forgot what it feels like to be wanted. everyone says to love yourself first, but nobody tells you what you're supposed to do when you've spent so long feeling invisible that you don't even remember who you were before all of this. i miss being a kid. i miss not caring. i miss believing things would eventually work out. now it just feels like i'm watching everyone else live while i'm stuck in the same place, hoping tomorrow magically feels different.
im tired boss
it's embarrassing because a hug is such a small thing, but i'd probably break down if someone gave me one. not out of happiness, just because i forgot what it feels like to be wanted. everyone says to love yourself first, but nobody tells you what you're supposed to do when you've spent so long feeling invisible that you don't even remember who you were before all of this. i miss being a kid. i miss not caring. i miss believing things would eventually work out. now it just feels like i'm watching everyone else live while i'm stuck in the same place, hoping tomorrow magically feels different.
im tired boss
