O
overcooked
6ft3 lowmtn
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2025
- Posts
- 64
- Reputation
- 21
My entire life I have been kinda autistic ngl, since early age I was very hyperactive and lived in my own world, I was average looking kid but very ND, having a lisp did not help either since I was heavily bullied because of it in primary school. I was bullied my entire early life, which made me kinda rtarded even more. It was mostly psychological bullying for my autistic behaviour and lisp sometimes I would get beaten up to, being without an older brother or someone to stand up for me did not help since I was mostly bullied by older kids( I never mentioned it to my dad or parents because my dad beat me bad pretty often for my impulsive behavior before i even was like 6yo). During that peirod I would get bullied by local kids so bad that I would change the routs and take a different longer part just to get to school so the older kids dont bully me and humiliate me every day. Than puberty came and i just hit a random growth spurt at 14 and grew from like 165cm to 185cm in 18months, my face did not develop well since I was a mouthbreather all my life, but I was very outgoing and not caring and I made a lots of friends because of it. I have had some girlfriends mostly because of my highcofidence which came from mostly inability too see my self, but it all goes downhill after that. At the time in which corona hit i was 16, I got supper addicted to playing fkin video games all day, I did not see a fkin sun i swear, during the lockdown i was giga low test(I did not know it at the time and I did not care either since I was so obsessed with playing games 15h a day.) Which ruined me even more because I had missed a the last chance to develop and change my destiny. After lockdown was over I went to college, with the confidence I aquired at highschool, but my god It did not transition well, and the college I was going to was filled with foids i swear and there were barely any competition but god I was so chopped(still am lol) and I for some autistic reason did not realise it at the time, until I ran into plenty of negative feedback from foids, like I am very communicative and outgoing and I still weren't able to bag shit. Like I wouldnt even try to initiate something because I knew it deep down that I would get rejected so I would rather not try and protect my low self esteem. I dropped out of the college because of a severe depresion and no will to live(deep down I knew it was over i was just too bluepilled at the time). After some time of realisead how chopped truly and digusting I am I feel into even deeper depresion. Well It's kinda impossible for me to ascend since I did not develop properly but at least I had homeboys and community in which I fit and belong and I wasn't too lonely. But no, Iong story short I lost that as well by my own mistake tbh. And now here I am at 22, completly alone, not a single person to talkt to irl, no chances of dating(yesterday I went on omegle to talk to people because I am so lonely and depressed, and I kid you not, girls were laughing at me and it wasnt a one girl, it was a every single fkin foid, like holy humiliation ritual. On the off side I have no carrer or a path, no friends, ruined reputation, and face of ruin doom and despair. And worst wasnt the laugh it was the fake pity from one girl which called me cute, I just could see it in her eyes how sad she was to witness a failure of a being that was made to suffer since day1. On top of everything I am kinda healthy which sucks because I really want to die but I am not a bitch to kms, I am giga broke as well so no hopes of ascending(becoming normal). On top of everything, I have 2 malloclusions, I am a mouthbreather(downgrown face) I have mild scoliosis as well which fucked my face even more. I have 0 dimorphism and no chances of being happy, I mean thats not possible anyways but i was just hopping i would not have anxiety and depression 24 7, like every time I wake up i get depressed for being alive and not dying in sleep(hopefuel) I dont care about feelings no more I lost them in the process of being hurt all my life. I have no friends nor will I make any at this age the ones I lost are gone, nor will i ever have a foid by my side, so im just gonna be alone all my life sitting in the park waiting to die. I take xanax everyday so I dont kms and hurt my mom feelings, she was always good to me but very oblivous to everytbhing. Some of you guys have it so good you just can't see it, im the only one for whom is truly over.
