
Deleted member 7901
punch yourself 10000 times, remember wolf's law
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- Jun 20, 2020
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I feel like ADHD is a blessing and a curse at the same time,
my random brain helped me in so much stuff, if its socially (being funny, active etc..), the amount of intellectual stimulation I get
because I actually learn a lot of stuff myself unrelated to school, and think quite a lot in my head, and the constant stimulation does have its benefits, I even had a successful online business for a few years (which I closed)
also the entire self-improvement came from procrastinating and watching youtube videos (started from me seeing jordan peterson in joe's rogan podcast), and it actually helped, I lost a lot of weight, I very better generally and far more energetic, and I completely revamped my daily diet from one full of junk food to healthy foods and added a few supplements, I also got in shape as well.
and all of this because I don't just sit 24/7 to learn to a test and spend it on other stuff
but in the other hand, I fail at high school, I know I have the potential to get top grades if I tried, I already was like that until 12-13 when I bothered to even listen,
I can learn coding very fast, but I lose interest after a few hours, I closed my online business because I was too lazy, and when it was opened, I took a few breaks where I lost at least $4,000 because I was too lazy and I didn't even care, on top of that I probably gave anxiety to countless people because I was anxious myself to tell them there was a delay because I was too lazy to click a few buttons.
I legit don't know what to do, I am thinking of getting a prescription (which I can get easily) for Modafinil and see how it effects me, if it will be too mild, maybe Adderall but I am not sure, I don't want to ruin what's at least good in my brain.
I am very afraid of the long-term effects, sure maybe next year I will work my ass off and actually get really good grades and graduate with the best way I could because of the drugs or some other external motivation, but
it comes in a cost of other things I could have discovered, and perhaps addiction and withdrawal, or changes in my brain, I am also afraid that I won't even use it in the first place, but I still want to open a few possible doors
my random brain helped me in so much stuff, if its socially (being funny, active etc..), the amount of intellectual stimulation I get
because I actually learn a lot of stuff myself unrelated to school, and think quite a lot in my head, and the constant stimulation does have its benefits, I even had a successful online business for a few years (which I closed)
also the entire self-improvement came from procrastinating and watching youtube videos (started from me seeing jordan peterson in joe's rogan podcast), and it actually helped, I lost a lot of weight, I very better generally and far more energetic, and I completely revamped my daily diet from one full of junk food to healthy foods and added a few supplements, I also got in shape as well.
and all of this because I don't just sit 24/7 to learn to a test and spend it on other stuff
but in the other hand, I fail at high school, I know I have the potential to get top grades if I tried, I already was like that until 12-13 when I bothered to even listen,
I can learn coding very fast, but I lose interest after a few hours, I closed my online business because I was too lazy, and when it was opened, I took a few breaks where I lost at least $4,000 because I was too lazy and I didn't even care, on top of that I probably gave anxiety to countless people because I was anxious myself to tell them there was a delay because I was too lazy to click a few buttons.
I legit don't know what to do, I am thinking of getting a prescription (which I can get easily) for Modafinil and see how it effects me, if it will be too mild, maybe Adderall but I am not sure, I don't want to ruin what's at least good in my brain.
I am very afraid of the long-term effects, sure maybe next year I will work my ass off and actually get really good grades and graduate with the best way I could because of the drugs or some other external motivation, but
it comes in a cost of other things I could have discovered, and perhaps addiction and withdrawal, or changes in my brain, I am also afraid that I won't even use it in the first place, but I still want to open a few possible doors