it's so over I'm tired

[kymmcrystal]

I tried for a long time, I actually gave up on relationships four years ago, I tried to ignore everything, to live in automatic mode.

but nowadays it's so hard to look at myself or stop to think about my life withtout feeling profound sadness, enough that I want to end it, I still think about my family, that's why I never do it, but it's getting tired walking everyday to see the same people, do the same work, feel disgust at myself, and then fake like I'm an actual social person.

I try to keep my mind busy, it never works, truly over.

 

[UnluckyOne]

Yeah, there is no point in trying if you're a subhuman. You just have to be real with yourself, it is pretty unfortunate, life could had been different.

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

How old are you?
You need to change smth so that the cycle doesn’t repeat tomorrow. Doing cold showers makes me more happy. Obviously I hate them but in the periods that I do them I barely feel sad.
Pray to Jesus. Even if you don’t believe in him I’d do it before doing suicide

If you do suicide then at least make sure that you will die, there are a lot of retards that hit the ground with sub 5000 newton and end up paralyzed

I wouldn’t suicide though. I would only fantasize about it. I’ve been suicidal since 1 year. And there are ups and downs. The downs are just so long that you forget that ups even exist. You will think “but we don’t have the same life’s” we don’t but I think it’s a bad bet to do smth permanent.

 

[anikey]

so sad. man u with us keep pushing . don’t give up

 

[kymmcrystal]

Yeah, there is no point in trying if you're a subhuman. You just have to be real with yourself, it is pretty unfortunate, life could had been different.

I actually am capable of pulling women, but I can't bring myself to make the effort, to be honest I don't feel anything about them anymore

 

[kymmcrystal]

How old are you?
You need to change smth so that the cycle doesn’t repeat tomorrow. Doing cold showers makes me more happy. Obviously I hate them but in the periods that I do them I barely feel sad.
Pray to Jesus. Even if you don’t believe in him I’d do it before doing suicide

If you do suicide then at least make sure that you will die, there are a lot of retards that hit the ground with sub 5000 newton and end up paralyzed

I wouldn’t suicide though. I would only fantasize about it. I’ve been suicidal since 1 year. And there are ups and downs. The downs are just so long that you forget that ups even exist. You will think “but we don’t have the same life’s” we don’t but I think it’s a bad bet to do smth permanent.

18 years old, I'm young.

I had a failed attempt at 15, with a knife, shit was brutal to my family, and I'm not that bad of a person to not care about them, so I keep pushing.

anyways, I'm just letting it out, as I have no one I can talk to about my mind.

and thanks, you are right about the bad bet

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

18 years old, I'm young.

I had a failed attempt at 15, with a knife, shit was brutal to my family, and I'm not that bad of a person to not care about them, so I keep pushing.

anyways, I'm just letting it out, as I have no one I can talk to about my mind.

and thanks, you are right about the bad bet

Pray to Jesus. Maybe he is putting you in this situation to come to him