I’ve Been Depressed Since I Was a Kid and I Don’t Know How I’m Still Alive

[zerotohero]

I’ve been living with depression since elementary school. Since I was around 10 years old. That’s when the suicidal thoughts started too. I’ve been carrying this shit for a decade and a half, and I genuinely don’t know how I’m still alive.

Every day feels like I’m just surviving out of habit. I’ve never been happy with myself. Not once. Not since I gained consciousness. I don’t know what it feels like to truly enjoy being me.

If things keep going this way, I don’t see myself making it to 30. I’m seriously considering ending it if nothing changes by then. I’m not saying this for attention. I’m just tired of pretending like things are okay when they’ve never been.

Anyone else feel like they’ve been dying inside since childhood? Like there was never even a “before” to go back to?

 

[War_In_Chiraq]

I just woke up from a series of trauma flashbacks.

 

[zerotohero]

I’m gonna KMS.

 

[Cleetus Cornfield]

when have you felt happy

 

[Underdog9494]

Same, I've never been "truly happy"
I never really got what i wanted, sure.. there's some small things i did which might have made me happy but it was just useless dopamine

 

[StraightHeadJames]

Why?

 

[hunnidrounds]

Your not alone bro

 

[Magnus Ironblood]

Yeah depression never really goes imo.

You just have to try to survive long enough to experience some of the highs life can give.

I'd consider going back on anti depressants, but it would ruin my Geomaxxing, so no.

 

[hunnidrounds]

Yeah depression never really goes imo.

You just have to try to survive long enough to experience some of the highs life can give.

I'd consider going back on anti depressants, but it would ruin my Geomaxxing, so no.

What if you have Schizophrenia? It's a living nightmare.

 

[CorinthianLOX]

I’ve been living with depression since elementary school. Since I was around 10 years old. That’s when the suicidal thoughts started too. I’ve been carrying this shit for a decade and a half, and I genuinely don’t know how I’m still alive.

Every day feels like I’m just surviving out of habit. I’ve never been happy with myself. Not once. Not since I gained consciousness. I don’t know what it feels like to truly enjoy being me.

If things keep going this way, I don’t see myself making it to 30. I’m seriously considering ending it if nothing changes by then. I’m not saying this for attention. I’m just tired of pretending like things are okay when they’ve never been.

Anyone else feel like they’ve been dying inside since childhood? Like there was never even a “before” to go back to?

Yeah. My suicidal thoughts started at 3rd grade when I had to change schools.

 

[CorinthianLOX]

And idk how i’m still alive either. The future looks dim for me too because i don’t see a future for myself.

 

[160cmcurry]

nice

 

[batman1997]

Im depressed because I Lost my parents at the age of 8 in an alley

 

[True truecel]

I’m gonna KMS.

dont bhai

life is worth living

 

[True truecel]

Im depressed because I Lost my parents at the age of 8 in an alley

womp womp

 

[batman1997]

womp womp

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@jonkler

 

[trashbinxoxo]

Me fr but I've learned to tune out my feelings so I don't get depressed anymore because it's exhausting as hell

 

[Sub5 & Celibate]

I’ve been living with depression since elementary school. Since I was around 10 years old. That’s when the suicidal thoughts started too. I’ve been carrying this shit for a decade and a half, and I genuinely don’t know how I’m still alive.

Every day feels like I’m just surviving out of habit. I’ve never been happy with myself. Not once. Not since I gained consciousness. I don’t know what it feels like to truly enjoy being me.

If things keep going this way, I don’t see myself making it to 30. I’m seriously considering ending it if nothing changes by then. I’m not saying this for attention. I’m just tired of pretending like things are okay when they’ve never been.

Anyone else feel like they’ve been dying inside since childhood? Like there was never even a “before” to go back to?

get tested for adhd all your problems will be solved

 

[Sub5 & Celibate]

I’ve been living with depression since elementary school. Since I was around 10 years old. That’s when the suicidal thoughts started too. I’ve been carrying this shit for a decade and a half, and I genuinely don’t know how I’m still alive.

Every day feels like I’m just surviving out of habit. I’ve never been happy with myself. Not once. Not since I gained consciousness. I don’t know what it feels like to truly enjoy being me.

If things keep going this way, I don’t see myself making it to 30. I’m seriously considering ending it if nothing changes by then. I’m not saying this for attention. I’m just tired of pretending like things are okay when they’ve never been.

Anyone else feel like they’ve been dying inside since childhood? Like there was never even a “before” to go back to?

ive suffered with depression since 4th grade and i learnt recently it was just untreated adhd