Jbf pill(RANT)

[flz15]

(RANT) How brutal is the jbf pill truly? This girl has liked me on and off for multiple years(same with me) but since i was a super socially awkward guy and she was the same. we never talked irl or hung out once in the span of the 2 years we were talking online(went to the same school btw) but because of puberty and other pharmaceuticals i took i look way better, thus getting more confident and i got way better social skills. Anyways, we started hanging out 3 months ago and i recently slayed since we are together. I couldnt be more happy i was her first and she was the first for me. But i fear ill rope if this relationship ends. I know this might sound evil, but i hope because i was her first love and i took her v card that she is extremely attached to me And will slways have me in the back of her mind if things eventually end. Is this the case or am i being too selfish