chrishell
Poet laureate of the deep state
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2024
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Jeanette "Now That's One Chronically Average-Looking Bitch" Jolene-McConnaheigh posts bizarre reddit fantasy on /r/relationship_advice. Jolene, 28, who has never had a relationship LARPs as a woman who just got broken up with by her boyfriend of 1.5 years. She writes: "He told me that I wasn't hot enough for him and that I never was. He said he didn't like the contours of my body nor the shape of any of my facial features. He said it was all kind of "there" but none of it was visually pleasing to him and that he constantly fantasized about having a much hotter girlfriend. He pointed out in particular her downgrown jaw and her sunken orbitals that reminded him of Giorgia Meloni, as well as her unharmonious cup size-to-hip-to-waist ratio and body fat distribution across the bodily lower third. He emphasized that the fact he was quite average himself did not attenuate his desires. He had a fire and intensity in his eyes as he said this but a peculiar emotionlessness and stoicism. Jolene-McConnaheigh's post goes to the front of the subreddit, garnering 250 replies and 5900 upvotes. She responds to every last comment with extraordinary detail and with reference to tiny details of the way this imaginary boyfriend behaved (for example, the color of his bracelet he wore on a certain rainy day in April, the particular way he would flex his fingers when he was about to tell a lie about what he bought at the grocery store (it was just him saying he bought tangerines when in reality he bought oranges), down to more obviously pressing events like when he started only wanting to do doggy and reverse cowgirl in the bedroom beginning on "Day 150" of their relationship (yes, she said exactly "Day 150"), presumably so he didn't have to look at her face. Jolene-McConnaheigh spends her entire Saturday and Sunday writing extraordinarily detailed responses to all these comments, ordering a lot of tacos and pad thai on UberEats so that she wouldn't have to detach herself from the screen for too long.
@vanillaicecream
@WELOVELOOKS
@vanillaicecream
@WELOVELOOKS
