H
houseofleaves
Iron
- Joined
- May 28, 2026
- Posts
- 5
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- 0
my whole life i have been a jester and this actually gave me something, as an asperger, it is rare to have an actual friend group and actual multiple social circles and everything
but since this girl showed up (and disappeared, of course) it all changed
i jumped head first on my depression and now i can barely function, its hard going to school, getting out of bed every day, it seems like everything goes wrong 4 me
but i know it doesnt, i have some shit in my life, got a decent financial condition, got friends, though at the end of the day i feel so fucking lonely, i feel like no one rly wants to speak to me
this girl seriously fucked me up, she was prob my last hope on teenage love and i fumbled it, and she showed me just how fucked i am, she would often say “you have no real friends” or “youre just a jester for them, theyre all laughing at you”
sometimes i just want to quit yk, im like a 6/10 in appearence already, being autistic is just the last pin on my coffin
even my therapist is ghosting me, thats why im posting on a forum about my problems because thats what i became, i spent so much energy trying to cheer everyone up and trying to do something, and now i need help, but i dont think i deserve the help, at the end of the day she was right about me, i just want it to be gone
but since this girl showed up (and disappeared, of course) it all changed
i jumped head first on my depression and now i can barely function, its hard going to school, getting out of bed every day, it seems like everything goes wrong 4 me
but i know it doesnt, i have some shit in my life, got a decent financial condition, got friends, though at the end of the day i feel so fucking lonely, i feel like no one rly wants to speak to me
this girl seriously fucked me up, she was prob my last hope on teenage love and i fumbled it, and she showed me just how fucked i am, she would often say “you have no real friends” or “youre just a jester for them, theyre all laughing at you”
sometimes i just want to quit yk, im like a 6/10 in appearence already, being autistic is just the last pin on my coffin
even my therapist is ghosting me, thats why im posting on a forum about my problems because thats what i became, i spent so much energy trying to cheer everyone up and trying to do something, and now i need help, but i dont think i deserve the help, at the end of the day she was right about me, i just want it to be gone
