GonorrhoeaGobbler
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The Complete, Extremely Serious Timeline of Jordan Barrett:
From Random Sydney Teen → Global Supermodel → Looksm*xxing Forum Casualty
1996–2014: The Pre-Jawline Era
Jordan Barrett is born in Australia, immediately setting off quiet alarms in the universe that this guy might be unfairly attractive someday. He grows up normal enough—no runway walk, no blue steel, just a regular kid unknowingly incubating cheekbones that would later destabilize the global modeling economy.
2015: The Chosen One Is Spotted
At 18, Jordan is scouted in Sydney. Not at a fashion event. Not at an audition. Just existing. Modeling agencies take one look and say, “Yes. That face. We’ll take ten.”
Within months, he’s signed and shipped straight into high fashion like a limited-edition luxury item.
2016–2018: Runway Domination Arc
Jordan explodes onto the fashion scene. Balmain, Versace, Dolce & Gabbana—if the brand required a face that looked both angelic and slightly intimidating, Jordan was there.
Instagram feeds worldwide suffer catastrophic morale loss. Teenagers stare at their mirrors thinking, “I never even had a chance.”
At this point, Jordan is widely considered genetically complete. A finished product. Nature’s final draft.
2019–2021: Peak “Effortless” Era
This is the golden age. The hair is perfect but messy on purpose. The jawline could cut glass, yet somehow looks relaxed. Interviews describe him as “raw,” “natural,” and “the face of a generation.”
Crucially, he still looks like a human being.
2022: The Internet Begins Whispering
Somewhere between runway shows and scrolling on his phone at 2 a.m., Jordan does what all models eventually do: he Googles himself.
This is his first mistake.
He discovers forums. Then subforums. Then looksmxxing*.
Suddenly, it’s not “you’re perfect,” it’s:
2023: The Seed of Insecurity Is Planted
What starts as curiosity turns into analysis. Screenshots. Measurements. Angles.
Jordan, a man whose face built careers, is now zooming into photos thinking, “What if I improved this… just a little?”
He’s still modeling. Still booked. But mentally? He’s comparing himself to diagrams made by anonymous users named things like ChadMatrix97.
2024: The Looksm*xxing Descent
This is where things accelerate.
First, it’s “subtle tweaks.”
Then it’s “optimization.”
Then it’s “final refinement (for real this time).”
Nose adjustments. Facial balancing. Fillers here, tightening there. Each change is justified with phrases like “facial harmony” and “max potential.”
Ironically, the more he tries to perfect his face, the more it starts looking like a high-resolution 3D render that hasn’t finished loading.
Instagram captions shift from carefree to clinical:
Jordan now looks impossibly polished. Immaculate. Almost unreal.
He has achieved what the forums promised—but at the cost of the thing that made him iconic: ease.
He didn’t lose his looks. He lost his peace.
he paid the price of evry model wich is to be a sex object to the jewish faggot elire, he married Fernando Augusto Casablancas and came out as bhaisexual
he later got a circumsision but still mogged with his BWC
From Random Sydney Teen → Global Supermodel → Looksm*xxing Forum Casualty
1996–2014: The Pre-Jawline Era
Jordan Barrett is born in Australia, immediately setting off quiet alarms in the universe that this guy might be unfairly attractive someday. He grows up normal enough—no runway walk, no blue steel, just a regular kid unknowingly incubating cheekbones that would later destabilize the global modeling economy.
2015: The Chosen One Is Spotted
At 18, Jordan is scouted in Sydney. Not at a fashion event. Not at an audition. Just existing. Modeling agencies take one look and say, “Yes. That face. We’ll take ten.”
Within months, he’s signed and shipped straight into high fashion like a limited-edition luxury item.
2016–2018: Runway Domination Arc
Jordan explodes onto the fashion scene. Balmain, Versace, Dolce & Gabbana—if the brand required a face that looked both angelic and slightly intimidating, Jordan was there.
Instagram feeds worldwide suffer catastrophic morale loss. Teenagers stare at their mirrors thinking, “I never even had a chance.”
At this point, Jordan is widely considered genetically complete. A finished product. Nature’s final draft.
2019–2021: Peak “Effortless” Era
This is the golden age. The hair is perfect but messy on purpose. The jawline could cut glass, yet somehow looks relaxed. Interviews describe him as “raw,” “natural,” and “the face of a generation.”
Crucially, he still looks like a human being.
2022: The Internet Begins Whispering
Somewhere between runway shows and scrolling on his phone at 2 a.m., Jordan does what all models eventually do: he Googles himself.
This is his first mistake.
He discovers forums. Then subforums. Then looksmxxing*.
Suddenly, it’s not “you’re perfect,” it’s:
- “Jaw could be wider”
- “Eye area slightly tired”
- “Canthal tilt potential unrealized”
2023: The Seed of Insecurity Is Planted
What starts as curiosity turns into analysis. Screenshots. Measurements. Angles.
Jordan, a man whose face built careers, is now zooming into photos thinking, “What if I improved this… just a little?”
He’s still modeling. Still booked. But mentally? He’s comparing himself to diagrams made by anonymous users named things like ChadMatrix97.
2024: The Looksm*xxing Descent
This is where things accelerate.
First, it’s “subtle tweaks.”
Then it’s “optimization.”
Then it’s “final refinement (for real this time).”
Nose adjustments. Facial balancing. Fillers here, tightening there. Each change is justified with phrases like “facial harmony” and “max potential.”
Ironically, the more he tries to perfect his face, the more it starts looking like a high-resolution 3D render that hasn’t finished loading.
Instagram captions shift from carefree to clinical:
- “Trust the process.”
- “Angles matter.”
- “Perfection is built.”
- “You were already perfect”
- “Bro discovered forums and never recovered”
Jordan now looks impossibly polished. Immaculate. Almost unreal.
He has achieved what the forums promised—but at the cost of the thing that made him iconic: ease.
He didn’t lose his looks. He lost his peace.
he paid the price of evry model wich is to be a sex object to the jewish faggot elire, he married Fernando Augusto Casablancas and came out as bhaisexual
he later got a circumsision but still mogged with his BWC
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