"Just Debloat Your Face By 3L Water Bro!" – The Brutal Debloatpill

Clavicular said:
Dogshit claim for the most part, explain how polyunsaturated fats will bloat you (they wont).

Funny GIF


Google kidney homeostasis to watch your thread wither away

Your only fucking advice for reducing cortisol is sleep, not a fucking MOLECULE about supression of the GCR. God this forum gets worse and worse daily.

God your so retarded its laughable, what the fuck is a "glycogen bloat" that doesnt even make sense whatsoever. If you think glycogen is the reason carbs bloat you, than its more fucking over than I thought you pathetic piece of shit.


Oh my god OP you are such a fucking low IQ deformity, we should destroy our hair lines to have "facial leanness". Your chatgpt thread just told you the most fucking god awful way to antagonize e2--->lower MCR agonism but you didnt know that because your mental development stopped at the age of 11 seemingly.


ADVANCED TIER? HAS THIS FORUM REALLY GONE TO THIS LEVEL OF GARBAGE??

nicolas cage scream GIF


Complete and utter dogshit, you deserve to be thrown off a 10 story building for this thread.
Click to expand...
W mod honestly
 
  • +1
Reactions: Clavicular
Dojo said:

Table of Contents​

  • Introduction (The cope is strong with this one)
  • Requirements (Do you even qualify?)
  • Methods (Face debloat vs. Semaglutide)
  • Pros & Cons (Spoiler: Pain & suffering)
  • Reality Level (Why most of you won’t succeed)
  • TL;DR (For the low-attention-spancels)

Introduction​

JFL at all the bloated-faced orbiters screeching "just drink water bro!" while looking like the Michelin Man’s ugly cousin. Face bloat isn’t just water retention—it’s a mix of poor diet, bad habits, and genetic-tier fat distribution that no amount of ice rolling will fix.

And don’t even get me started on the Semaglutide hype. Every TikTokcel thinks injecting weight-loss drugs will turn them into a hollow-cheeked gigachad. Reality check: Most of you will quit after the first nausea wave or end up looking like a deflated balloon.

This guide is for subhuman bloatcels who want to actually debloat their face and body—not just cope with useless "tips."

Requirements​

Before you waste time and money, ask yourself:

1. Genetic Reality Check​

  • Do you store fat in your face first? (If yes, you’re fighting genetics.)
  • Is your "bloat" actually just high body fat? (No amount of fasting will save a 25% BF permabulker.)
  • Are you insulin resistant? (If you get sleepy after carbs, congrats—you’re fucked.)

2. Diet & Lifestyle​

  • Do you eat like a fat dumpster? (Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
  • Do you sleep 5 hours a night? (High cortisol = moon face.)
  • Are you sedentary? (Lymphatic drainage requires movement, lazycel.)

3. Financial & Mental Prep​

  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
  • Can you handle side effects? (Nausea, fatigue, "Ozempic face" sagging.)
  • Are you ready to change habits permanently? (Or will you rebound in 3 months?)

Methods​

1. Normie Tier (For Copers)​

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
  • Reduce Sodium & Processed Carbs (No more ramen, bloatcel.)
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
  • Guasha / Ice Rolling (Temporary relief, but better than nothing.)
Reality Level: -0.5 to -1 PSL bloat reduction.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)​

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
  • Dry Fasting (24-48hrs, carefully) (Extreme debloat, but risky.)
  • Prescription Diuretics (Sparingly) (Dangerous if abused.)
Reality Level: -1 to -2 PSL if consistent.

3. Giga Autist Tier (Semaglutidemaxxing)​

  • Semaglutide (Wegovy/Ozempic) (Suppresses appetite, forces fat loss.)
  • GH + DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)
  • Plasma Fibroblasting (Non-surgical skin tightening post-weight loss.)
Reality Level: -2 to -3 PSL if done perfectly.

Pros & Cons​

MethodProsCons
Normie TierEasy, low riskMinimal gains, requires consistency
AdvancedcelNoticeable debloatHunger, fatigue, potential muscle loss
SemaglutideForces fat loss, reduces cravingsExpensive, nausea, "Ozempic face" sagging

Reality Level​

  • Most of you won’t stick to it. You’ll try fasting for a day, then binge on McDonald’s.
  • Genetics dictate fat distribution. If you’re a moonfacecel, even 10% BF won’t give you hollow cheeks.
  • Semaglutide isn’t magic. You’ll lose weight, but without muscle retention, you’ll look sickly, not chiseled.
  • Rebound is inevitable if you quit. Most regain the weight + extra because they never fixed their habits.
Final Realitypill:

  • If you’re >20% BF, focus on actual fat loss before obsessing over bloat.
  • If you’re lean but still bloated, check food intolerances (dairy, gluten, histamines).
  • Semaglutide is a tool, not a cure. Without diet changes, you’ll just be a smaller version of a blob.

TL;DR​

  • Face bloat = diet, sleep, genetics. No quick fixes.
  • Semaglutide works but has side effects. Only use if you’re serious.
  • Most of you will fail because effort > copium.
Shoutout: All the Ozempic-faced influencers pretending they got hollow cheeks "naturally."

:ogre:

(INSPIRED BY/BASICALLY RIPPED OFF BY @menas)
Upvote if this saved you (NEVER DID)
Click to expand...

thanks for tagging 200,000 people

coffee without creamer debloats my face very very very well
 
Nobody cares for your AI-generated shit.
 
  • JFL
Reactions: Dojo
Dojo said:
Not AI generated JFL
Click to expand...
Caging, just because your shit isn't flagged in the conventional detector, doesn't mean it isn't blatantly obvious you retard.
Very evidently, you just collated a bunch of other info on here, put it into ChatGPT and then clicked generate, and then did some red colouring for your formatting.

Ignoring your pathetic attempt at a personal insult because you are probably a literal moron with your inability to understand that this is obviously a regurgitated lump of shit.
 
aids said:
Caging, just because your shit isn't flagged in the conventional detector, doesn't mean it isn't blatantly obvious you retard.
Very evidently, you just collated a bunch of other info on here, put it into ChatGPT and then clicked generate, and then did some red colouring for your formatting.

Ignoring your pathetic attempt at a personal insult because you are probably a literal moron with your inability to understand that this is obviously a regurgitated lump of shit.
Click to expand...
Nice logic

:pbhai
 
aids said:
Caging, just because your shit isn't flagged in the conventional detector, doesn't mean it isn't blatantly obvious you retard.
Very evidently, you just collated a bunch of other info on here, put it into ChatGPT and then clicked generate, and then did some red colouring for your formatting.

Ignoring your pathetic attempt at a personal insult because you are probably a literal moron with your inability to understand that this is obviously a regurgitated lump of shit.
Click to expand...
DNR :p:p:p:p:p
 
Dojo said:

Table of Contents​

  • Introduction (The cope is strong with this one)
  • Requirements (Do you even qualify?)
  • Methods (Face debloat vs. Semaglutide)
  • Pros & Cons (Spoiler: Pain & suffering)
  • Reality Level (Why most of you won’t succeed)
  • TL;DR (For the low-attention-spancels)

Introduction​

JFL at all the bloated-faced orbiters screeching "just drink water bro!" while looking like the Michelin Man’s ugly cousin. Face bloat isn’t just water retention—it’s a mix of poor diet, bad habits, and genetic-tier fat distribution that no amount of ice rolling will fix.

And don’t even get me started on the Semaglutide hype. Every TikTokcel thinks injecting weight-loss drugs will turn them into a hollow-cheeked gigachad. Reality check: Most of you will quit after the first nausea wave or end up looking like a deflated balloon.

This guide is for subhuman bloatcels who want to actually debloat their face and body—not just cope with useless "tips."

Requirements​

Before you waste time and money, ask yourself:

1. Genetic Reality Check​

  • Do you store fat in your face first? (If yes, you’re fighting genetics.)
  • Is your "bloat" actually just high body fat? (No amount of fasting will save a 25% BF permabulker.)
  • Are you insulin resistant? (If you get sleepy after carbs, congrats—you’re fucked.)

2. Diet & Lifestyle​

  • Do you eat like a fat dumpster? (Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
  • Do you sleep 5 hours a night? (High cortisol = moon face.)
  • Are you sedentary? (Lymphatic drainage requires movement, lazycel.)

3. Financial & Mental Prep​

  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
  • Can you handle side effects? (Nausea, fatigue, "Ozempic face" sagging.)
  • Are you ready to change habits permanently? (Or will you rebound in 3 months?)

Methods​

1. Normie Tier (For Copers)​

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
  • Reduce Sodium & Processed Carbs (No more ramen, bloatcel.)
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
  • Guasha / Ice Rolling (Temporary relief, but better than nothing.)
Reality Level: -0.5 to -1 PSL bloat reduction.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)​

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
  • Dry Fasting (24-48hrs, carefully) (Extreme debloat, but risky.)
  • Prescription Diuretics (Sparingly) (Dangerous if abused.)
Reality Level: -1 to -2 PSL if consistent.

3. Giga Autist Tier (Semaglutidemaxxing)​

  • Semaglutide (Wegovy/Ozempic) (Suppresses appetite, forces fat loss.)
  • GH + DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)
  • Plasma Fibroblasting (Non-surgical skin tightening post-weight loss.)
Reality Level: -2 to -3 PSL if done perfectly.

Pros & Cons​

MethodProsCons
Normie TierEasy, low riskMinimal gains, requires consistency
AdvancedcelNoticeable debloatHunger, fatigue, potential muscle loss
SemaglutideForces fat loss, reduces cravingsExpensive, nausea, "Ozempic face" sagging

Reality Level​

  • Most of you won’t stick to it. You’ll try fasting for a day, then binge on McDonald’s.
  • Genetics dictate fat distribution. If you’re a moonfacecel, even 10% BF won’t give you hollow cheeks.
  • Semaglutide isn’t magic. You’ll lose weight, but without muscle retention, you’ll look sickly, not chiseled.
  • Rebound is inevitable if you quit. Most regain the weight + extra because they never fixed their habits.
Final Realitypill:

  • If you’re >20% BF, focus on actual fat loss before obsessing over bloat.
  • If you’re lean but still bloated, check food intolerances (dairy, gluten, histamines).
  • Semaglutide is a tool, not a cure. Without diet changes, you’ll just be a smaller version of a blob.

TL;DR​

  • Face bloat = diet, sleep, genetics. No quick fixes.
  • Semaglutide works but has side effects. Only use if you’re serious.
  • Most of you will fail because effort > copium.
Shoutout: All the Ozempic-faced influencers pretending they got hollow cheeks "naturally."

:ogre:

(INSPIRED BY/BASICALLY RIPPED OFF BY @menas)
Upvote if this saved you (NEVER DID)
Click to expand...
Carnivore + 0 psychological stress + sleep as much as you want
 
  • +1
Reactions: Dojo
dogshit thread
 
  • Woah
  • +1
Reactions: truecel_4, Clavicular and Dojo
Dojo said:
r awe
Click to expand...
You deserve a like for that effort! Nice one, I thought it was a glitch! Bro, I know you're striving for that attention! But listen, no one cares, bro! So focus on yourself instead of being jester
 
Dojo said:
I'll never forget it. He's super tall bro and like its super intimidating when he has so many bodyguards around him and he came in, I was so nervous but when he stuck his hand out and smiled I felt safe. Just the way he asserted himself, the way he talked, the way he taught me his way of life the way he was fearless. I understand why theres alot of men that wanna listen to him. He's not Jesus Christ though so he's not gonna be perfect. I know that this guys an influential man and when I see this man I know that God's using him regardless of how he feels it. I know that God is using @Clavicular to mend or bend to the will of what God's will is
Click to expand...
George Janko is a faggot for saying allat
 
Can we all agree to rape @Dojo for his niggerly behavior
 
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