infini
Time is not on my side.
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2022
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Anyway,
@Chadethnic101 @forevergymcelling @PrinceLuenLeoncur @geezcel @DoctorLooksmax went to Fabric first night. Had decent socialising with hipster normies but it's strange when you think you had a good time and one member offers instagram then the foid doesn't (!) despite being nice towards another the whole time. I only realised her soyboy partner was him just before asking jfl. After they left (boring soul hip-hop concert before being the good stuff, hard house/trance/techno). Less of the arthouse/ alternate types were there and normies started to fill in.
When time there was getting on, the @pneumocystosis deadline-at-club-pill sinked in but fuck me is it hard to think when you're autistic, can't hear shit and have already engulfed several masses of wine, whiskey, and complimentary gin because it was your birthday, and vodka. I find that on birthday's people constantly offer way more booze then you expect.
I thought right I have got to try and pull and started talking to a LTB chub but then from her signs after a few minutes approaching she was off. Soon after she did the full thing from making out to exchanging contacts with a more subhuman-looking, Auschwitz-bodied version of you and after doing the biz he then fucked out of there with his mate who he confirmed how he did it. The whole time I'm thinking, if this was @Chadethnic101 blocking me like he did with BBC's I would get it, because its not only pheno but likely mogger overall, but this was a bootleg subhuman copy of you. Not saying I'm anywhere near Chad but, you got to still try but it's going into unknowns with the approach every time.
It was ragefuel, being so close. I find that Wine is the one alcohol to encourage emotion and occasionally rage. At the same time, some uggo manlet drops MY FUCKING double Grey Goose! He kept hitting everyone all night.
When you get mogged and lose by Chad, it makes perfect sense. There's no anger. You would respect that mog when difference between you is clear. Then I wondered if it was for my un-normie looks or shit convo but what are you supposed to say at 4:45am?
Two elder brexit looking lads the first thing they ask me is that they don't do drugs. Out of the two it was the one with hair that pulled but they were respectful until it seems when they're with women, you're suddenly invisible. Not that I cared at that point. I was trying to come to terms with the prior and the sunrise.
Then night was over shortly after, kinda wanted to say, why him and not me just to hear the result. I didn't. The sun was already depressing and luckily I was only staying within walking distance. I know it's cope to say I don't really care for her or she wasn't good-looking anyway so no loss but if you only attempt to go for who you're attracted to it's losing out on an experience. I learned that the hard way. I did all this shit to help social and inhib that's currently higher than the Oak tree near me.
And trying to think while pissed is so hard. Call this low-T but getting analytical was just turning into Groundhog-day style mush.
Next day, walking around Borough Market, it was a fair share of NT maxxed alternate or normie looksmatched couples as well as this:
Not exacly Chad face but at one point there was a fucking HEIGHT mogger that must had been 7ft. I should have @forevergymcelling creepmaxxed at that point for you guys. Another Chav couple caught my attention because of the lads facial scars. Wondered how he got them. Didn't ask. Autism and high inhibition moments are a reminder for my overdue labiaplasty.
Camden. Felt like an absolute outsider on my own around The Black Heart despite talking to more oofy doofy couples, the hot russian goth waitress, the state of my trying out every whisky from their extensive list. It was funny to see the cup final At The Worlds End hear London Calling and Master Of Puppets and start chatting to fellow Polish subhuman metalheads besides one gymcelled HTN, who were naturally welcoming. Got offered more free drink.
Went to EGG nightclub and had a blast, everything was better. Music, space, people. Stayed until the end again at 7am but the sun this time was so fucking good. Luckily I didn't emotionally invest whatsoever, and avoided certain people. Tried my luck on being straight-up honest with others ("your hair is nice, oh you're fit, you're sexy etc") and when that failed respectfully left them alone. Mentioned hair to these two sluts and they complimented me back the second after again for them to get swept by these 2 aforementioned users if they were worse looking, same thing from night before. How they advance and what they say, it mogged me I thought yet they're once again worse versions of @Chadethnic101. Even saw a more gymcelled manlet version of another guy constantly pestering this girl couple and get kicked out by security but how that action happened i dunno.
In the club most of if not all the time whenever I mentioned something to someone I needed them to repeat as my listening and hearing capacity is fucking frail to say the least, jfl. One BBC ogre wondered if I was a girl I said no, he fucked off, didn't pay attention. Another guy asked how long it took me to grow my hair, I said 2010. Then all I heard besides the glaring industrial lights was a fuarkinghell drone in the distant background.
Whenever I brought up autism in convo, many mired me and mentioned adhd or supposedly couldn't detect it from me. Spent time with another metalhead. Had turkish/greek med pheno. Definitely had gymcelled and was in similar physique to me. We talked a bit about past relationships. He was telling me with my relationship issues I need to cut contact but when you've been with someone for 10 years it's a total different beast to his experience of being 'liberal', spinning plates and flinging with every and I do mean every-one. I mired him for that because at times I just wanted to dance and drift but the opportunity time waits for nobody. At least exhanged contacts with 2 insta art types who've been really receptive since. Not bad. Was lifefuel.
Tl; Dr: Just be a subhuman med theory. Do what these users have done to maxx and reverse it all and appear creepy. It's too bright out here to reread this shit and edit it and I want to go outside and run.
Overall, I like the idea of going to completely socially opposite places to how I look, in order to see how their cortisol can merely comprehend me haha it's an idea I just got from this.
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