Just needed to get this off my chest

[TrueBlueRetard]

inb4 dnr. Needed to get this off my chest somehow, since I have nearly no one to talk to irl about stuff like this and this loneliness has been eating away at me for years. I doubt anyone will find any use to this post, and what I speak about will probably be inkwell water but whatever.

Turned 18 recently, and I feel completely hollow. Family member asked if I had a girlfriend. No. Asked if I've ever had a girlfriend. No. Asked if I've ever kissed a girl. No. On my birthday he asked and pressed me about this shit in front of everyone, and I had to laugh it off. Never before have I been more fucking pissed off. Humiliated.

I've Never had a gf, just been a khhv my whole life. Never held a conversation with a girl my age that I'm not related to for more than 5 or so seconds. Just rare hellos or them asking if they can borrow a pencil. I'm probably borderline autistic and definitely below average looks wise. My parents were overbearing and I had problems at an early age making friends, but finally found a friend group that I could hang out with, even if half of them don't speak to me specifically and just treat me like scenery. I keep trying to work on myself, like lifting weights, controlling my diet, trying to fix my skin etc. But it all feels like its for nothing. I've never gotten any attention from girls and I'm beginning to feel like I never will, especially not in the years that matter (18-26). I'm considering different surgeries but those are far in the future for me. All I want is love and affection, but I know my looks and my insanely high inhib will never allow me to experience it. It feels as though even if I do go about looksmaxxing to my highest potential and hardmaxxing, I'll still be an unlovable high inhib autist loser, who barely becomes in any way desirable (if that). And when I'll be able to afford the surgeries I need, I'll probably already be passed that window of young love that everyone truly desires. I've tried to fix my mental by quitting porn, reading, trying to be more optimistic. But I sit near my oneitis in class, and I know she barely knows I exist. Its painful knowing that I may never be loved and that people only see you for your face. I feel both invisible and like everyone is looking at me. I just want someone to want me but all I'm left with is a hollow feeling in my body and my mind telling me there's nothing I can do about it.

what I'm trying to get at is, for all those who are involuntarily celibate or who were once involuntarily celibate, what do you do to overcome this overbearing loneliness and is it really over

 

[hybobu]

if ur ugly then moneymaxx and hardmaxx and if that doesnt work then geomaxx somewhere where standards are different

 

[Deleted member 87785]

you are in my similar situation. Better luck next life tbh

 

[PlayersGetPlayed]

For me it works to accept it for what it is, and more importantly to stop seeking something that may not be in the cards for you. I mean, I highly doubt it's that bad, being that ugly is as rare as being a chad, you should at the very least be able to find a girl that likes you once throughout your 20s. But until that moment, focus on things such as improving your skills, try to see yourself as more than just a loner who can't get laid. Because you are more, you can iqmax and learn a new language, or learn to play chess, or do something like sports. You can still make something of yourself and enjoy life while doing it.

 

[TrueBlueRetard]

For me it works to accept it for what it is, and more importantly to stop seeking something that may not be in the cards for you. I mean, I highly doubt it's that bad, being that ugly is as rare as being a chad, you should at the very least be able to find a girl that likes you once throughout your 20s. But until that moment, focus on things such as improving your skills, try to see yourself as more than just a loner who can't get laid. Because you are more, you can iqmax and learn a new language, or learn to play chess, or do something like sports. You can still make something of yourself and enjoy life while doing it.

I guess in some ways I'm putting putting having a relationship on a pedestal to be this thing that will fix all my problems including my mental and social wellbeing. Which if not true and I keep going about this mindset and somehow get a gf, the realization will probably hit me like a truck. Probably also putting one specific girl on a pedestal, which hasn't helped me at all.

I've been trying to read stuff like philosophy and history, trying to learn French, been playing chess since I was little. These things help but I always feel inadequate. Hopefully will be going to university start of next year, but I think my high inhib is going to kill me there. I was barely able to make friends in Highschool and my anxiety has only gotten worse. I'm probably not that ugly though you're right, but while working on myself in the mean time, its hard to deal with the fact that the girl I like won't remember who I even am in a year, and the constant reminders of my loneliness keep beating me down. It feels harder when you see happy couples and beautiful people everywhere. I'll def try to make the most of it though since roping isn't an option for me and where there's a will there's a way. Thank you for the comment, I'll try to see myself as more than just a loser.

 

[future slavic chad]

learn to smile when you eat shit, become insane

 

[noahwillascend]

Don’t forget , money will solve 99% of your problems bro
Hardmaxx if your ugly as shit