TrueBlueRetard
aussiecel, larrikinmaxed and flynnpilled.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2024
- Posts
- 158
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inb4 dnr. Needed to get this off my chest somehow, since I have nearly no one to talk to irl about stuff like this and this loneliness has been eating away at me for years. I doubt anyone will find any use to this post, and what I speak about will probably be inkwell water but whatever.
Turned 18 recently, and I feel completely hollow. Family member asked if I had a girlfriend. No. Asked if I've ever had a girlfriend. No. Asked if I've ever kissed a girl. No. On my birthday he asked and pressed me about this shit in front of everyone, and I had to laugh it off. Never before have I been more fucking pissed off. Humiliated.
I've Never had a gf, just been a khhv my whole life. Never held a conversation with a girl my age that I'm not related to for more than 5 or so seconds. Just rare hellos or them asking if they can borrow a pencil. I'm probably borderline autistic and definitely below average looks wise. My parents were overbearing and I had problems at an early age making friends, but finally found a friend group that I could hang out with, even if half of them don't speak to me specifically and just treat me like scenery. I keep trying to work on myself, like lifting weights, controlling my diet, trying to fix my skin etc. But it all feels like its for nothing. I've never gotten any attention from girls and I'm beginning to feel like I never will, especially not in the years that matter (18-26). I'm considering different surgeries but those are far in the future for me. All I want is love and affection, but I know my looks and my insanely high inhib will never allow me to experience it. It feels as though even if I do go about looksmaxxing to my highest potential and hardmaxxing, I'll still be an unlovable high inhib autist loser, who barely becomes in any way desirable (if that). And when I'll be able to afford the surgeries I need, I'll probably already be passed that window of young love that everyone truly desires. I've tried to fix my mental by quitting porn, reading, trying to be more optimistic. But I sit near my oneitis in class, and I know she barely knows I exist. Its painful knowing that I may never be loved and that people only see you for your face. I feel both invisible and like everyone is looking at me. I just want someone to want me but all I'm left with is a hollow feeling in my body and my mind telling me there's nothing I can do about it.
what I'm trying to get at is, for all those who are involuntarily celibate or who were once involuntarily celibate, what do you do to overcome this overbearing loneliness and is it really over
Turned 18 recently, and I feel completely hollow. Family member asked if I had a girlfriend. No. Asked if I've ever had a girlfriend. No. Asked if I've ever kissed a girl. No. On my birthday he asked and pressed me about this shit in front of everyone, and I had to laugh it off. Never before have I been more fucking pissed off. Humiliated.
I've Never had a gf, just been a khhv my whole life. Never held a conversation with a girl my age that I'm not related to for more than 5 or so seconds. Just rare hellos or them asking if they can borrow a pencil. I'm probably borderline autistic and definitely below average looks wise. My parents were overbearing and I had problems at an early age making friends, but finally found a friend group that I could hang out with, even if half of them don't speak to me specifically and just treat me like scenery. I keep trying to work on myself, like lifting weights, controlling my diet, trying to fix my skin etc. But it all feels like its for nothing. I've never gotten any attention from girls and I'm beginning to feel like I never will, especially not in the years that matter (18-26). I'm considering different surgeries but those are far in the future for me. All I want is love and affection, but I know my looks and my insanely high inhib will never allow me to experience it. It feels as though even if I do go about looksmaxxing to my highest potential and hardmaxxing, I'll still be an unlovable high inhib autist loser, who barely becomes in any way desirable (if that). And when I'll be able to afford the surgeries I need, I'll probably already be passed that window of young love that everyone truly desires. I've tried to fix my mental by quitting porn, reading, trying to be more optimistic. But I sit near my oneitis in class, and I know she barely knows I exist. Its painful knowing that I may never be loved and that people only see you for your face. I feel both invisible and like everyone is looking at me. I just want someone to want me but all I'm left with is a hollow feeling in my body and my mind telling me there's nothing I can do about it.
what I'm trying to get at is, for all those who are involuntarily celibate or who were once involuntarily celibate, what do you do to overcome this overbearing loneliness and is it really over