Just picturing a better life for myself makes me so happy

[Aconite]

I want peace. I want positivity. I want joy. I want a family and a woman who loves me unconditionally. I want parents. I want a body I can be proud of. I want to work hard and honestly and earn a good living. I want friends and an active social life.

I feel on top of the world like I'm the most perfect person ever. I feel like Jesus and I'm brimming with happiness and ecstasy.

I feel like this is so achievable and I do my utmost to make it happen and then all of a sudden something happens and I mess up a little bit or I intentionally fuck myself up and then I get down about it for weeks and can't get out of bed or eat or sleep and I hide away in a dark room all day and kill all the progress I made while taking sleep medicine and drinking. I want to kill and hurt others and myself. I'm filled with disgust for myself and I take drugs to make myself feel how I felt when I was happy a few weeks prior.

Then the cycle repeats.

And there's nothing I can do about it

 

[Aconite]

muh "you look good and you're tall you got the good genetics you have nothing to complain about"

 

[Aconite]

God plus every time I make some GENUINE PROGRESS I fall chronically iII or something bad happens to my health or one of my friends dies or whateber

 

[Aconite]

God plus every time I make some GENUINE PROGRESS I fall chronically iII or something bad happens to my health or one of my friends dies or whateber

why do ppl I know keep dying what is this why does this happen

 

[NarrowBoneMarrow]

K

 

[Aconite]

s

K

shut the fuck u0 dung beetle

 

[Aconite]

K

let me speek

when a black woman is speaking you listen

 

[NarrowBoneMarrow]

let me speek

when a black woman is speaking you listen

Jesus wouldn’t roast me for being a dung beetle

You’re as far from god as anyone here you positivity larper

 

[Aconite]

Jesus wouldn’t roast me for being a dung beetle

You’re as far from god as anyone here you positivity larper

no I'm not a positive or good person I'm a piece of shit irl and on here. I suck and am a terrible person I don't deserve nnything and I'm a piece of sit for thingint I do fuck me

 

[Deleted member 51358]

Dnr

 

[cb006]

I want peace. I want positivity. I want joy. I want a family and a woman who loves me unconditionally. I want parents. I want a body I can be proud of. I want to work hard and honestly and earn a good living. I want friends and an active social life.

I feel on top of the world like I'm the most perfect person ever. I feel like Jesus and I'm brimming with happiness and ecstasy.

I feel like this is so achievable and I do my utmost to make it happen and then all of a sudden something happens and I mess up a little bit or I intentionally fuck myself up and then I get down about it for weeks and can't get out of bed or eat or sleep and I hide away in a dark room all day and kill all the progress I made while taking sleep medicine and drinking. I want to kill and hurt others and myself. I'm filled with disgust for myself and I take drugs to make myself feel how I felt when I was happy a few weeks prior.

Then the cycle repeats.

And there's nothing I can do about it

quit drugs mane
step 1

 

[Deleted member 297070]

I want peace. I want positivity. I want joy. I want a family and a woman who loves me unconditionally. I want parents. I want a body I can be proud of. I want to work hard and honestly and earn a good living. I want friends and an active social life.

I feel on top of the world like I'm the most perfect person ever. I feel like Jesus and I'm brimming with happiness and ecstasy.

I feel like this is so achievable and I do my utmost to make it happen and then all of a sudden something happens and I mess up a little bit or I intentionally fuck myself up and then I get down about it for weeks and can't get out of bed or eat or sleep and I hide away in a dark room all day and kill all the progress I made while taking sleep medicine and drinking. I want to kill and hurt others and myself. I'm filled with disgust for myself and I take drugs to make myself feel how I felt when I was happy a few weeks prior.

Then the cycle repeats.

And there's nothing I can do about it

Real