ozenpenn
Iron
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2025
- Posts
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> Just wanted to share my progress.
Just wanted to share this somewhere.
It's been 2 years since I found out I was ugly. I was 13 and I genuinely couldn't stop thinking about it. It sounds stupid but i didn't think i was.
Before that I didn't really care. Then one day it was like I saw myself properly for the first time and after that every mirror, every picture, every reflection just pissed me off.
I got into looksmaxxing around the time Kshami and all that Mogwarts stuff was blowing up. A few months later I found out about .org and spent most of my time lurking here because I was way too insecure to post myself.
Looking back I don't think I ever cared about my appearance. People always talk about confidence like it's the end goal but I never really wanted confidence.
I just wanted to look better.
That's literally all I thought about.
Every improvement felt good for like 5 minutes and then I'd find something else wrong. Fix one thing and suddenly another flaw appears. Get closer to your goal and the goal moves even further away.
It's weird because if 13 year old me saw me now he'd probably think I made it. But when I look at myself all I see is what still needs work.
(Yes it's me at 13 i was 4'8 and that's my dad next to me)
Sometimes I think this stuff changes the way your brain works. You stop seeing yourself as a normal person and start seeing yourself as a list of flaws.
I'm 15 now and honestly I don't really care about posting my face anymore.
(Late 14 here 5'7 probably 11 months or a year between the photos)
(This was 3 days ago)
Not because I think I look amazing or because I became confident. I just stopped caring what people think.
The obsession never really left though.
If anything it's worse now.
Because once you spend years chasing improvement, being "better" stops being the goal. Then no matter how much progress you make, your brain immediately starts looking for the next thing to fix. The next level. The next upgrade.
And the worst part is I don't even know if there's an end to it.
(Me today)
Just wanted to share this somewhere.
It's been 2 years since I found out I was ugly. I was 13 and I genuinely couldn't stop thinking about it. It sounds stupid but i didn't think i was.
Before that I didn't really care. Then one day it was like I saw myself properly for the first time and after that every mirror, every picture, every reflection just pissed me off.
I got into looksmaxxing around the time Kshami and all that Mogwarts stuff was blowing up. A few months later I found out about .org and spent most of my time lurking here because I was way too insecure to post myself.
Looking back I don't think I ever cared about my appearance. People always talk about confidence like it's the end goal but I never really wanted confidence.
I just wanted to look better.
That's literally all I thought about.
Every improvement felt good for like 5 minutes and then I'd find something else wrong. Fix one thing and suddenly another flaw appears. Get closer to your goal and the goal moves even further away.
It's weird because if 13 year old me saw me now he'd probably think I made it. But when I look at myself all I see is what still needs work.
(Yes it's me at 13 i was 4'8 and that's my dad next to me)
Sometimes I think this stuff changes the way your brain works. You stop seeing yourself as a normal person and start seeing yourself as a list of flaws.
I'm 15 now and honestly I don't really care about posting my face anymore.
(Late 14 here 5'7 probably 11 months or a year between the photos)
(This was 3 days ago)
Not because I think I look amazing or because I became confident. I just stopped caring what people think.
The obsession never really left though.
If anything it's worse now.
Because once you spend years chasing improvement, being "better" stops being the goal. Then no matter how much progress you make, your brain immediately starts looking for the next thing to fix. The next level. The next upgrade.
And the worst part is I don't even know if there's an end to it.
(Me today)
