BigJimsWornOutTires
Fire
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
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Sometimes things are not funny. Some things should never be laughed at. If only I'd listened to my own advice. Ugh. Looking down at my erected penis, I pondered, What would happen if I swallowed a suspicious substance sold from a shady gas station deep in the swampland by a woman who giggled about the product that makes penises hard? Hmm... I then chuckled at the possible outcome, A harder dick?
Brutalheartpilled
At first, I thought I was having a panic attack. Then, CENSOR of the CENSOR XXIV CENSOR said, "You're having a panic attack." Quickly, I jumped into a hot shower. Ugh, a familiar sound inside my ears heightened. Then CENSOR said, "Why not drink hot coffee with extra espresso shots next; perhaps chug down a Monster while you're at it?" I felt this whammy was doubling, tripling, I grabbed my chest as that sound amplified:
Getting out of the shower, I didn't bother to dry off or don any clothes; my blood pressure was jackhammering—my body was on fire! So, I headed to the kitchen and began brewing a mug of dark roast coffee. Peeling three-shot cups of Stok open, I dumped them inside the mug. Waiting on my java, I ate a handful of bacon, then slammed down a 16-ounce can of Monster. Ugh, a feminine voice, one I didn't hear before, said, "Ah, yes, finally. I have special little place for you, human monkey."
Shaking my head to the new voice, I carried my coffee to the bathroom to complete this product review. Inspecting Chad in the mirror, I didn't see anything out of the norm.
Muscles tight
Abs firm
Gladiator body spotless of ink degeneracy
Rock hard dick
What's new, right?
In conclusion to my research of the backpage Viagra, Kingdom Royal Honey, or the street term, Honey Pack, prepare yourself for the following:
And if you're not like me, depending on the dosage, I took two caps full, three to four hour erections. Oh, I almost forgot, creepy dreams! Later that night, after hysterically laughing with tears in my eyes watching the Handmaid's Tale, I turned off the TV to darkness.
After an hour of tossing and turning, I cracked my eyes open to a tall, creepy crystal box. Scanning up the living glass, the smoggy, crimson sky swallowed the top of it. That sound from earlier surrounded me, but was more autistically annoying than before:
"Do you know what that is?" A voice uttered from my side, and I looked, it's Lucy Liu!
"Lucy Liu, what are you doing in my creepy dream?" I asked.
"This no dream!" she assured me in broken English. "You know where you are."
Hmm, I pondered a moment, trying to think when I last thought about this scrawny one-timer, if I had bodycounted her. "The only time you were ever inside my mind was when I watched Charlie's Angels in fast-forward. Boring movie, not gonna lie. But I remember rating you, not even a fucking one."
"Anyway," she avoided the truth and rolled her eyes. While she swept her hand to the box, she said, "This is your special little place here in..." Her raised eyebrows indicated that she wanted me to fill in the blank.
"Oh, wait," I said as I examined the mushy ground of coal, rocks, diamonds, and bones inside the box. "I do remember this place."
"No! That not possible! It was just built for you, only you! Your special little place here in..." once again, raised eyebrows.
"I think you're wrong there, little washed up actress. I remember being inside that box because I didn't stay long. The breathing glass broke, and I was carried away by gorgeous, naked human birds to a better place, not so depressing and boring."
"Son of bitch!" she was furious about this unforeseen forecast. Stomping her feet in a Chinese tantrum, she shouted to the blood sky, "Why take this from me! I earn this, dammit!"
"Sorry, crazy little lady, it is what it is. Not everyone wins."
"Fuck you!" she screamed as fire erupted everywhere. I awoke.
Ah, yes, I cha-chang myself to the ultimate troll.
Brutalheartpilled
At first, I thought I was having a panic attack. Then, CENSOR of the CENSOR XXIV CENSOR said, "You're having a panic attack." Quickly, I jumped into a hot shower. Ugh, a familiar sound inside my ears heightened. Then CENSOR said, "Why not drink hot coffee with extra espresso shots next; perhaps chug down a Monster while you're at it?" I felt this whammy was doubling, tripling, I grabbed my chest as that sound amplified:
Getting out of the shower, I didn't bother to dry off or don any clothes; my blood pressure was jackhammering—my body was on fire! So, I headed to the kitchen and began brewing a mug of dark roast coffee. Peeling three-shot cups of Stok open, I dumped them inside the mug. Waiting on my java, I ate a handful of bacon, then slammed down a 16-ounce can of Monster. Ugh, a feminine voice, one I didn't hear before, said, "Ah, yes, finally. I have special little place for you, human monkey."
Shaking my head to the new voice, I carried my coffee to the bathroom to complete this product review. Inspecting Chad in the mirror, I didn't see anything out of the norm.
Muscles tight Abs firm Gladiator body spotless of ink degeneracy Rock hard dickWhat's new, right?
In conclusion to my research of the backpage Viagra, Kingdom Royal Honey, or the street term, Honey Pack, prepare yourself for the following:
- Racing heart
- High blood pressure
- High pulse rate
- Body on fire
- Consistent orgasms (body tremors during and after sex)
- Multiple ejaculations (possibly dry runs if you hadn't drunk enough fluids)
And if you're not like me, depending on the dosage, I took two caps full, three to four hour erections. Oh, I almost forgot, creepy dreams! Later that night, after hysterically laughing with tears in my eyes watching the Handmaid's Tale, I turned off the TV to darkness.
After an hour of tossing and turning, I cracked my eyes open to a tall, creepy crystal box. Scanning up the living glass, the smoggy, crimson sky swallowed the top of it. That sound from earlier surrounded me, but was more autistically annoying than before:
"Do you know what that is?" A voice uttered from my side, and I looked, it's Lucy Liu!
"Lucy Liu, what are you doing in my creepy dream?" I asked.
"This no dream!" she assured me in broken English. "You know where you are."
Hmm, I pondered a moment, trying to think when I last thought about this scrawny one-timer, if I had bodycounted her. "The only time you were ever inside my mind was when I watched Charlie's Angels in fast-forward. Boring movie, not gonna lie. But I remember rating you, not even a fucking one."
"Anyway," she avoided the truth and rolled her eyes. While she swept her hand to the box, she said, "This is your special little place here in..." Her raised eyebrows indicated that she wanted me to fill in the blank.
"Oh, wait," I said as I examined the mushy ground of coal, rocks, diamonds, and bones inside the box. "I do remember this place."
"No! That not possible! It was just built for you, only you! Your special little place here in..." once again, raised eyebrows.
"I think you're wrong there, little washed up actress. I remember being inside that box because I didn't stay long. The breathing glass broke, and I was carried away by gorgeous, naked human birds to a better place, not so depressing and boring."
"Son of bitch!" she was furious about this unforeseen forecast. Stomping her feet in a Chinese tantrum, she shouted to the blood sky, "Why take this from me! I earn this, dammit!"
"Sorry, crazy little lady, it is what it is. Not everyone wins."
"Fuck you!" she screamed as fire erupted everywhere. I awoke.
Ah, yes, I cha-chang myself to the ultimate troll.
