justheretohelppl
Iron
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2023
- Posts
- 154
- Reputation
- 120
being a genetic late bloomer in 7th grade up to 10th was hell, i wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.
face can't save you at that point. it all started in early 7th grade. it took me some time to realize it, because of denial or maybe blissfulness because of my young age, or even pure ignorance, i didn't notice the difference from 6th to 7th grade. but it slowly became more prominent. in 6th i wasn't the tallest, and honestly not even in the dead medium, but it wasn't noticeable or apparent. the situation was fine, i wasn't the shortest, and not in the top 10 shortest either. but 7th was a completely different experience. took me some time to realize but when i did, it didn't really leave my mind, i was pushed around, disrespected, seen as a kid, and even adults couldn't really see past my young appearance. locker rooms were hell, i was underdeveloped, skinny and hairless. most of my friends already had hairy armpits. happy trails and even chest hair sometimes. i used to go into the locker-room bathroom stalls and change clothes there. some individual friends questioned it but they brushed it off after some bs excuse i gave them. when i did have the confidence to dress up there, i used to do it quickly and would walk out as soon as possible. sometimes they'd make jokes about it, but they would often be focused on shoving other kids around or bullying the gay kid, luckily he was an easier victim than me because i jestered my way into being sorta popular. i used to buy deodorants just to spray them and look more "normal" even though i had nothing on my armpits, just mainly to not stand out too much. when hanging out with friends i would find places to sit, so my height wouldn't be psychologically analyzed, compared or noticed, and i'd wear hoodies to look less slim. my more masculine friends would joke about me but i would usually have some 'smart' comeback to play it off, i hid my suffering well, but those things still scarred me. in breaks, when walking around alone or with friends, older kids would kinda side-eye me, or maybe it was just my impression, but 7th grade was tolerable, because there were some kids not too tall. nonetheless, most were atleast 15cms taller than me. 8th grade was when it started to get even tougher. 7th grade kids were usually taller than me on average, and when i used to tell them that i'm in 8th grade, they would straight up laugh and not believe me. i would be picked up and messed around with by my taller "friends". often they'd joke about me being feminine or fragile. that same year, i joined some swimming club. i was put in a group with clearly younger kids, and even then, i wasn't that much taller than them. it sucked. girls wouldn't really take me seriously either, since i was their height, or even shorter than 70% of them. even though my face wasn't bad, i lived the life of a subhuman. after a few months i quit swimming, the coach wouldn't even take me seriously and wearing those speedos was awkward around the older kids. the locker-rooms in that club were hell too. i always felt like i wasn't taken seriously. teachers seemed to belittle me, and no one was even slightly intimidated by me. when i used to play basketball with friends i would be shoved by their heavier and taller bodies, so P.E classes were hell too. i had to do the same push ups, sit ups, running distances and times as kids (biologically) years older than me. i decided to join a basketball team believing it might aid with height, and surprisingly (sarcastic) i suffered there too. everyone was way taller, and i couldn't get past anyone, even though my dribbling and shooting was good, it clearly wasn't enough against height. and they weren't even that tall either. the coach would often push me aside and tell me not to do some drills and exercises because i would "mess up other kids' streak" or "wouldn't be able to keep up". eventually i quit because i was disrespected on a daily basis, and i saw no future there, as it was one big humiliation ritual. in late 7th grade i found out about bp, i even lurked on org and chatted sometimes in the org discord server. when going to doctor checkups, they would often brush stuff off, since it was clear that i was a genetic late bloomer, and since it wasn't a hormonal/nutritious problem, they just told me to wait. i pretty much begged my parents for something but they brushed it off too. 7th grade girls were on average taller than me or the same height, and they used to giggle or smirk when i passed. i wasn't delusional enough to think it was unrelated to me. looking back, pretty much 1 in 3 recesses/breaks, i would be picked up, pushed or messed with. when i would defend well in soccer, kids would rage and be aggressive towards me, once they realized they could just lean against me and i'd pretty much stumble, they spammed it. that summarizes 8th grade. 9th grade was just an enhanced version of 8th, more suffering, less happiness. i hanged around sometimes with kids from 10th grade, playing basketball with them and etc. they used to stand still, palm the ball/hold it and just extend their arms as upwards as possible, and even when i jumped the highest i could, i still wouldn't reach it. eventually i stopped hanging out with them too. four of my closest friends switched schools and i was left to socialize with some of the more popular kids. it was hell. they would ask me things about whether i have pubic hair and other invasive questions. i would often lie and/or switch topics. kids from 7th and 8th grades would side eye me and giggle, same with the girls, and most didn't believe i was in 9th grade. some would ask if i was "moved up" because of good grades or something along those lines. everytime i came back home from school, i would just jump on my bed and sometimes tear up. i couldn't really explain my situation because the only time i did explain things to my parents, they spoke to the school and the school pulled me and some kids to "talk about the issue", which just made me seem like a snitch for 3 weeks until i jestered my way out. younger kids would sort of try to pick fights with me and/or joke about me. my friends would talk about masturbation, dating, puberty changes etc while i was just trying to remain as quiet as possible so they don't realize i'm there and ask me about it or joke about it.
10th grade was the worse year, 7th grade kids were still around my height, some luckily being shorter. locker-rooms after P.E classes became more aggressive, invasive and uncomfortable, the P.E qualification system was even harsher, more pushups, higher jumps, stronger throws, and i felt left behind. hell, i didn't even have any clearly visible pubic hair, and i was competing with nearly-bearded teens. my cousins we're all taller, and my uncles seemed to treat me like a kid. my younger cousins, who were taller than me, seemed to relate on and chat about puberty stuff while i was just there. my aunts were kinda 'too nice', which gave me a feeling that they still viewed me as a kid. they would talk about my cousin's dating life and who he was messing with, and never once did they ask me. i seemed to be invisible to friends, when planning or discussing things, people would talk over me, or not even reply or comment to my ideas. i was constantly checking how i look, sound, act or come across because that was all i had going for me, or noticeable about me. when getting into arguments, people would say anything and everything (as it happens to everyone, insulting my mom through names and etc) but the issue wasn't that, it was that i couldn't reply, because if i insulted someone or someone's family member back, they'd simply get close to me, and sort of lean against me aggressively to show dominance, basically threatening me, which made me feel helpless. even the weak felt strong next to me. i felt like i was observing life, not participating or taking part in it. it was hard, because i couldn't set limits and boundaries, nobody took them seriously even if i tried. i have 1000 other experiences i could share but for now i'll keep it at that. these years felt like hell, everywhere i went, it followed me. these experiences and treatments scarred me for life, and this suffering has changed me forever. being belittled by everyone of any sort and form makes you feel inferior, in all ways.
looking back, the efforts i made were in vain, i was disrespected even when i made people laugh or confident. unfortunately, bodies don't follow schedules, and being a late bloomer didn't build my character or made me tougher, it just made things harder. but i'm trying to make it not define the rest of my life. some days it still bothers me.
face can't save you at that point. it all started in early 7th grade. it took me some time to realize it, because of denial or maybe blissfulness because of my young age, or even pure ignorance, i didn't notice the difference from 6th to 7th grade. but it slowly became more prominent. in 6th i wasn't the tallest, and honestly not even in the dead medium, but it wasn't noticeable or apparent. the situation was fine, i wasn't the shortest, and not in the top 10 shortest either. but 7th was a completely different experience. took me some time to realize but when i did, it didn't really leave my mind, i was pushed around, disrespected, seen as a kid, and even adults couldn't really see past my young appearance. locker rooms were hell, i was underdeveloped, skinny and hairless. most of my friends already had hairy armpits. happy trails and even chest hair sometimes. i used to go into the locker-room bathroom stalls and change clothes there. some individual friends questioned it but they brushed it off after some bs excuse i gave them. when i did have the confidence to dress up there, i used to do it quickly and would walk out as soon as possible. sometimes they'd make jokes about it, but they would often be focused on shoving other kids around or bullying the gay kid, luckily he was an easier victim than me because i jestered my way into being sorta popular. i used to buy deodorants just to spray them and look more "normal" even though i had nothing on my armpits, just mainly to not stand out too much. when hanging out with friends i would find places to sit, so my height wouldn't be psychologically analyzed, compared or noticed, and i'd wear hoodies to look less slim. my more masculine friends would joke about me but i would usually have some 'smart' comeback to play it off, i hid my suffering well, but those things still scarred me. in breaks, when walking around alone or with friends, older kids would kinda side-eye me, or maybe it was just my impression, but 7th grade was tolerable, because there were some kids not too tall. nonetheless, most were atleast 15cms taller than me. 8th grade was when it started to get even tougher. 7th grade kids were usually taller than me on average, and when i used to tell them that i'm in 8th grade, they would straight up laugh and not believe me. i would be picked up and messed around with by my taller "friends". often they'd joke about me being feminine or fragile. that same year, i joined some swimming club. i was put in a group with clearly younger kids, and even then, i wasn't that much taller than them. it sucked. girls wouldn't really take me seriously either, since i was their height, or even shorter than 70% of them. even though my face wasn't bad, i lived the life of a subhuman. after a few months i quit swimming, the coach wouldn't even take me seriously and wearing those speedos was awkward around the older kids. the locker-rooms in that club were hell too. i always felt like i wasn't taken seriously. teachers seemed to belittle me, and no one was even slightly intimidated by me. when i used to play basketball with friends i would be shoved by their heavier and taller bodies, so P.E classes were hell too. i had to do the same push ups, sit ups, running distances and times as kids (biologically) years older than me. i decided to join a basketball team believing it might aid with height, and surprisingly (sarcastic) i suffered there too. everyone was way taller, and i couldn't get past anyone, even though my dribbling and shooting was good, it clearly wasn't enough against height. and they weren't even that tall either. the coach would often push me aside and tell me not to do some drills and exercises because i would "mess up other kids' streak" or "wouldn't be able to keep up". eventually i quit because i was disrespected on a daily basis, and i saw no future there, as it was one big humiliation ritual. in late 7th grade i found out about bp, i even lurked on org and chatted sometimes in the org discord server. when going to doctor checkups, they would often brush stuff off, since it was clear that i was a genetic late bloomer, and since it wasn't a hormonal/nutritious problem, they just told me to wait. i pretty much begged my parents for something but they brushed it off too. 7th grade girls were on average taller than me or the same height, and they used to giggle or smirk when i passed. i wasn't delusional enough to think it was unrelated to me. looking back, pretty much 1 in 3 recesses/breaks, i would be picked up, pushed or messed with. when i would defend well in soccer, kids would rage and be aggressive towards me, once they realized they could just lean against me and i'd pretty much stumble, they spammed it. that summarizes 8th grade. 9th grade was just an enhanced version of 8th, more suffering, less happiness. i hanged around sometimes with kids from 10th grade, playing basketball with them and etc. they used to stand still, palm the ball/hold it and just extend their arms as upwards as possible, and even when i jumped the highest i could, i still wouldn't reach it. eventually i stopped hanging out with them too. four of my closest friends switched schools and i was left to socialize with some of the more popular kids. it was hell. they would ask me things about whether i have pubic hair and other invasive questions. i would often lie and/or switch topics. kids from 7th and 8th grades would side eye me and giggle, same with the girls, and most didn't believe i was in 9th grade. some would ask if i was "moved up" because of good grades or something along those lines. everytime i came back home from school, i would just jump on my bed and sometimes tear up. i couldn't really explain my situation because the only time i did explain things to my parents, they spoke to the school and the school pulled me and some kids to "talk about the issue", which just made me seem like a snitch for 3 weeks until i jestered my way out. younger kids would sort of try to pick fights with me and/or joke about me. my friends would talk about masturbation, dating, puberty changes etc while i was just trying to remain as quiet as possible so they don't realize i'm there and ask me about it or joke about it.
10th grade was the worse year, 7th grade kids were still around my height, some luckily being shorter. locker-rooms after P.E classes became more aggressive, invasive and uncomfortable, the P.E qualification system was even harsher, more pushups, higher jumps, stronger throws, and i felt left behind. hell, i didn't even have any clearly visible pubic hair, and i was competing with nearly-bearded teens. my cousins we're all taller, and my uncles seemed to treat me like a kid. my younger cousins, who were taller than me, seemed to relate on and chat about puberty stuff while i was just there. my aunts were kinda 'too nice', which gave me a feeling that they still viewed me as a kid. they would talk about my cousin's dating life and who he was messing with, and never once did they ask me. i seemed to be invisible to friends, when planning or discussing things, people would talk over me, or not even reply or comment to my ideas. i was constantly checking how i look, sound, act or come across because that was all i had going for me, or noticeable about me. when getting into arguments, people would say anything and everything (as it happens to everyone, insulting my mom through names and etc) but the issue wasn't that, it was that i couldn't reply, because if i insulted someone or someone's family member back, they'd simply get close to me, and sort of lean against me aggressively to show dominance, basically threatening me, which made me feel helpless. even the weak felt strong next to me. i felt like i was observing life, not participating or taking part in it. it was hard, because i couldn't set limits and boundaries, nobody took them seriously even if i tried. i have 1000 other experiences i could share but for now i'll keep it at that. these years felt like hell, everywhere i went, it followed me. these experiences and treatments scarred me for life, and this suffering has changed me forever. being belittled by everyone of any sort and form makes you feel inferior, in all ways.
looking back, the efforts i made were in vain, i was disrespected even when i made people laugh or confident. unfortunately, bodies don't follow schedules, and being a late bloomer didn't build my character or made me tougher, it just made things harder. but i'm trying to make it not define the rest of my life. some days it still bothers me.
. I was also a late bloomer relatively but grew a couple inches quickly
