Life is brutal

[fvolkek]

It’s really bad when you wake up and try real hard every day, every single fucking day you wake up trying to “make it”, trying to improve your looks, generate income, studying in college, to be happy and in return you’re lonely as fuck, you see all your “friends” (who sideline you) getting all the huzz, you get left out, you end up rotting by yourself.
I have money so I travel all around the world but I do all of that by myself, and I can’t form a single group, I’m always rejected and left out. People don’t even want to use me for my money. it’s really a cruel joke.
I do pull every now and then (I wear lifts, makeup, all “frauding” stuff, which does work) but they always end up abandoning me because my personality is also shit, or my real self leaks out.
I tried being authentic, I get left out. I tried a façade and it’s marginally better but never really works. I tried everything, I don’t know what else to do with myself. Im not an insecure teenager anymore, im a grown adult (20yrs)
People shouldn’t need to audit every single thing they say or do to be like “see! this is what’s wrong with you”. And then deconstruct their whole mechanisms of navigating social life. No, they just go along with the flow (mostly) and they end up with friends and eventually a wife.
I ended up with a constant state and feeling in my mind that really feels painful. I don’t know how to describe it. But it’s really bad. A lifetime of rejection really takes a toll on you. You can’t help but wonder what’s so bad about yourself that everyone marginalizes you.
My cope is “you’re already rich, and then when you reach the workforce you’ll generate even more wealth because you’re preparing yourself for that, and then everyone will care because you’ll have money, so you’ll be included into society and you’ll be ultimately happy”. But what if I don’t make it economically? If I actually fail at work. The stakes are really high.
My only real friend (that I see often, and do plans with) is a schizophrenic guy who was “banished from the tribe”, so to speak, because he literally stabbed a classmate of ours. What do I mean by “real”? The other ones are supposed to be friends but my only interactions with them is them sending me IG reels, or some transactional college stuff. I don’t really see them. And my only friend is my friend because the rest of the gang left him out. So what does that say about me? I’m almost on the same level of avoidance as someone who attempted to murder them. It’s brutal.

Notwithstanding my sexual deviances that I attribute to rejection. I mean I ended up with humiliation fetishes and masochism and a porn addiction frankly. I couldn’t help myself. I obviously haven’t told anyone other than my therapist.

I mean my day to day is going to college (solo), working (solo), and then gym (solo) and gooning myself to sleep to fill the void. Then weekends I hang out with the other guy. That’s my life. And it’s not bearing fruits. And I’m losing patience.

I’ll say it bluntly, if things don’t take a turn for the better, I will obviously kill myself, because I’m putting all hopes in that I’ll be successful.

 

[Vantablack]

what’s even more brutal is this dnr

 

[gunrenaissance]

what’s even more brutal is this dnr

I giggled

 

[fvolkek]

>inb4 “dnr” retards

 

[fvolkek]

>inb4 “dnr” retards

At least they’re bumping my thread

 

[gunrenaissance]

>inb4 “dnr” retards

You came after the dnr actually not before

 

[fvolkek]

You came after the dnr actually not before

Yeah you won twin

 

[gunrenaissance]

Yeah you won twin

Nah

 

[fvolkek]

Oh and I’m sure someone may say “bro but you shouldn’t try! that’s the whole point!!”
Buddy the times I didn’t try were the worst moments of my life, everyone avoided me even more, I had an even worse experience and I had the same people who would give me this kind of advice say “but try bro!! bro!!! get a better haircut!!!” It’s either “you’re trying too hard” or “you’re not trying enough”.
I think one of the worst parts of the blackpill is people giving you shitty advice as if any of that would make a difference. In my case I think it’s clear, I just need to make a shit ton of money and do well professionally and I will probably be reluctantly included in society (thank you capitalism!) To be used. That’s it. That’s my purpose. And if I fail at the only valuable thing that I think I’m good at, I’m doomed.
Honestly this makes me wonder, maybe this is why women hate capitalism, I mean capitalism is the best way for ugly men like myself to somehow subvert hierarchies to be above and oppress the good looking poor faggots. Top 10 copes of all time.

 

[sub5mumbaifinalboss]

Oh and I’m sure someone may say “bro but you shouldn’t try! that’s the whole point!!”
Buddy the times I didn’t try were the worst moments of my life, everyone avoided me even more, I had an even worse experience and I had the same people who would give me this kind of advice say “but try bro!! bro!!! get a better haircut!!!” It’s either “you’re trying too hard” or “you’re not trying enough”.
I think one of the worst parts of the blackpill is people giving you shitty advice as if any of that would make a difference. In my case I think it’s clear, I just need to make a shit ton of money and do well professionally and I will probably be reluctantly included to society (thank you capitalism!) To be used. That’s it. That’s my purpose. And if I fail at the only valuable thing that I think I’m good at, I’m doomed.
Honestly this makes me wonder, maybe this is why women hate capitalism, I mean capitalism is the best way for ugly men like myself to somehow subvert hierarchies to be above and oppress the good looking poor faggots.

dnr again

 

[fvolkek]

dnr again

Thanks for the bump faggot
(Still no one’s replying anyway)

 

[JimmyDreamsOfZygos]

I can relate to a lot of the feelings you express here honestly, but at the same time it feels like your main rejection is from one group that you’ve been in semi-proximity with throughout school? I can understand why wider exclusion could lead to you feeling like you’re an outcast but it seems to me like you’re in a smaller environment and haven’t really met that many new people to be rejected by.

I feel you with the slays not being enough to cover up obvious social wounds and a self-image that you’ve built up over time, but honestly I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough chances to really see. There’s so many groups of people out there, and countless ones full of people way more annoying than you guaranteed. If you’re traveling start staying in hostels only, go to South America like Peru or Belize and meet other rich young people. Start training something that gives you stuff to talk about, do all the shit that boring mid 20’s people do that make them more interesting. Take a shit ton of psychedelics

 

[sub5mumbaifinalboss]

Thanks for the bump faggot
(Still no one’s replying anyway)

dont worry

wheres the tldr

 

[fvolkek]

I can relate to a lot of the feelings you express here honestly, but at the same time it feels like your main rejection is from one group that you’ve been in semi-proximity with throughout school? I can understand why wider exclusion could lead to you feeling like you’re an outcast but it seems to me like you’re in a smaller environment and haven’t really met that many new people to be rejected by.

I feel you with the slays not being enough to cover up obvious social wounds and a self-image that you’ve built up over time, but honestly I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough chances to really see. There’s so many groups of people out there, and countless ones full of people way more annoying than you guaranteed. If you’re traveling start staying in hostels only, go to South America like Peru or Belize and meet other rich young people. Start training something that gives you stuff to talk about, do all the shit that boring mid 20’s people do that make them more interesting. Take a shit ton of psychedelics

Thanks bro

Look, I’ve been in two major environments (two schools) and rejected in both. Then I went to hostels as you said, and “meet and mingle” type study programs, and I was rejected in all of them too. In football I was rejected. In college I was left out.

Honestly I can’t help but feel that there’s something wrong with me if I’m being left out of every single place. I will continue trying because I don’t have any other choice frankly, but it’s brutal.

I’m from Argentina myself. I have gone to Peru, to hostels there, and people were pretty cool. I think us argentines have a status in most latam countries, so I did make some “acquaintances” but I never really fit in anyway.

I did take more psychedelics that I should have honestly, they didn’t help me. But I really appreciate that you’re taking time to try to help me

I guess my post was more of a vent than anything, I will feel better eventually in the day and do something else.

My conclusion (or cope) is “keep my mind busy until I make it economically and then I will reap what I sowed”

 

[JimmyDreamsOfZygos]

Thanks bro

Look, I’ve been in two major environments (two schools) and rejected in both. Then I went to hostels as you said, and “meet and mingle” type study programs, and I was rejected in all of them too. In football I was rejected. In college I was left out.

Honestly I can’t help but feel that there’s something wrong with me if I’m being left out of every single place. I will continue trying because I don’t have any other choice frankly, but it’s brutal.

I’m from Argentina myself. I have gone to Peru, to hostels there, and people were pretty cool. I think us argentines have a status in most latam countries, so I did make some “acquaintances” but I never really fit in anyway.

I did take more psychedelics that I should have honestly, they didn’t help me. But I really appreciate that you’re taking time to try to help me

I guess my post was more of a vent than anything, I will feel better eventually in the day and do something else.

My conclusion (or cope) is “keep my mind busy until I make it economically and then I will reap what I sowed”

Well no you should definitely try and figure out what it is that makes you feel unwelcome in most environments, I feel that’s very necessary especially so your worldview and self-image don’t continue to get warped. Do you think you obsess over yourself too much while in conversation with somebody else? That could be perceived as selfish even if you’re trying to not give a bad impression. Do you think of yourself as a good listener, or like somebody who’s opinions and ideas would hold any weight to a person right in front of you?

 

[fvolkek]

dont worry

wheres the tldr

Well no you should definitely try and figure out what it is that makes you feel unwelcome in most environments, I feel that’s very necessary especially so your worldview and self-image don’t continue to get warped. Do you think you obsess over yourself too much while in conversation with somebody else? That could be perceived as selfish even if you’re trying to not give a bad impression. Do you think of yourself as a good listener, or like somebody who’s opinions and ideas would hold any weight to a person right in front of you?

Could be, I guess I just don’t know