Life really does not matter anymore

Cyframe

Cyframe

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Just talked to a kid, who is in 8th grade. He didn't understand division, I spent an entire hour attempting to teach the concept and he simply couldn't grasp it. I was so incredibly frustrated, then spent another hour again attempting to help him out before finally giving up.

My IQ is average, I have a classmate who was tested in at 144 and he simply outranks me everywhere. He primarily studies Engineering/STEM while I am studying the Politics/History and he can instantly outmatch me in conversations about topics that I should by all means have a better understanding of.

I'm also average looking, chased this girl that I had initially been friends with for nearly three years (HTB) [The best looking at my HS] for around 5-6 months ish now.

After initial rejection, I was able to slowly work myself in there by being there for her and getting her to like me. Worst part is, it worked.

Which lasted for a week before she lost feelings, not because it was something I could control... but its just that she can't find me physically attractive.

And guess what, that's genetic.

I'm depressed really. It seems that I have been put into a shell, a shell that is not built for what is within. I have this great desire... a never ending thirst to be anything but mediocre, achieve something... push humanity....

But I'll never be the engineer

I was destined to be a cog from the start

I wish I was rather not born, than be a cog. A cog in a system that is easily forgotten, discarded and abandoned.

My tenderness... the purity of my emotions will never truly be seen, for I was destined for it. Destined to be unseen.
 
  • So Sad
Reactions: mrdouchebag

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