ndfraud
Iron
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2026
- Posts
- 34
- Reputation
- 13
Im ngl i cant do this anymore its so fucking bad bro, nothings worth living for anymore its all hurt and the things worth living for i keep messing up. I have this girl i cant control her ive seen her with other guys 3 times now all taller and js overall objectivley better. i just started texting her less evern tho we are dating i cancelled our plans this friday im so ashamed to see her bro every time i see myslef and then see her and think about the way i treated her it gen makes me js wanna jump out of my room head first. She actually loved me and i was too insecure too notice and now its almost over, she posted a story of her lip sycning and showing off her tits to half the school and the song and the lyrics are "he doesnt know i dont love him anymore" this is so brutal idk what to do shes not even wanting to text me anymore she cancelled our last hg because she said shes grounded but then the next day she went out with her freinds. thats part of the reason i dont want to see her cause i was hella hurt by that. and then mom found the pharma and hates me my dad left me like a year ago its so bad. i can barely get food here my mom js keeps the child support money and feeds me straight rice so i have to shove steak down my pants in safeway and eat it raw cause if i bring it home my older brother will beat my ass and take it everythings so fucked gen just might rope i js needa find a proper way to do it and when. only thing keeping me happy is this fuckass computer. i put sheets up on all the windows in my room its js pitch black and i havent left in a day im survivng off water and a box of costco granola bars. it stinks like piss in here cause my toilets broken too. i cry every hour and play shellshockers minecraft and my racing sim on rotate while also checking my girls loco and seeing her with other people and guys all day while i wait for a text or call from someone. and fuck this looksmaxing shit its been 4 years bro everythign goes too shit i blew 600 on pharma shit was on for 3 weeks and all of it got taken away and i had to leave home for two days. i bought an expander and headgaear spent deadass 700$ just to get it taken away and beaten by my brother. i lift every other day other than sunday i used to have my nutrition on point and health now its js fucked my skin has scabs from scratching i bone smashed while high too hard now theres liquid in one zygo and my curly hair is falling out everything is so fucked i wish i could sleep all day and wake up finally and my girlfreind will be there telling me she loves me and hugging me. but thats never gonn ahappen the one person i thought actually loved me hates me now. i sacrificed everything for her, lost all my freinds cause she didnt want me hanging out with them lost all my freinds who were girls cause she was jealous. and i lost my dad my brother and my mom hates me and only cares about money. shes so stupid. im highkey fucking done i saw a homeless nigga on the street i never wanted to fucking kill it so bad. i had a dream my brother tried to kill me at night (both him and my dad have threatened to do that to me its one of my biggest fears). one side of me is thinking its over i should js kill myslef in a nice senic area and rest in peace forever. but then the other side is saying beat the fuck out of my mom and my brother. kick my brother out force my mom to give me the child support money and tekk her to live in a hotel and order my roids erda and other shi blast my mind out fuck the shit out of my girl freind ruin her then leave her once ive ascended and then kill myslef. i just want revenge before i go otherwise i wont feel complete. idk why im acting like this and thinking like this normally im js a normal boy all this shit hurts so much tho and i dobt even know what im doing her other than playing video games and being a burden to people theres no point. and im wondering about whats gonna happen to me when i die i always think about rencarnatiuon or hell or heaven or smth else, or just nothing but thats hard to comprehend. i think im gonna text her one more time if nothing works im going to hang myslef somewhere in the hills and hope nobody who cared about me gets affected negativly. if this ever gets out to my family or freinds i hate all of yall nobody cared about me i tried to be better for all of you guys and it never worked. humans were never meant to live life like this i hate you guys. fuck i dont even have any freinds or anyone to talk to that would care enough to find this someday. i just wish i was born perfect and didnt have to worry about anything. i hate this worlds people so much. why is it that genuinly everybody is like way slower than me and js stupid. and i texted my girl no response yet ive been writing this for an hour on and off while listenig to music. it shows shes active on snap tho. i genuinly think im getting broken up with today. if thats true ngl theres a pack of benadryl next to me i take them to sleep sometimes i might js swallow all of them and finallly be done i dont want to get over another girl while also being in this shit situation.
