D
Deleted member 10104
Fuchsia
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2020
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As you guys know, a few days ago I issued a self-ban in the immediate aftermath of finding out my LTR had discovered my infidelity in the worst way possible.
She had found pictures/videos of me fucking other girls. She then took those pictures/videos and sent them to my family, including my dad, sister, grandfather, and some others. She also saw the evidence of me getting a girl pregnant, but she thinks the miscarriage happened. She also found conversations with me and a friend where I talked about and objectified women quite a bit, including racially (even discussing her race in a sexual manner). She sent that stuff too.
When this was all happening I was with a new girl I had recently connected with, an 18 year old with very little prior dating experience and also a virgin. To me she is the equivalent of ethnic Eva Cudmore, and I can look at pics of both and objectively she has a few better features but since this forum is white worshipping I'd say many would disagree. Bare minimum, fogs @TraumatisedOgre's avi to death. Regardless, she has insane collagen, top tier eye area, cute nose, great jaw, and I was her first... but it all just complicates things.
On top of this, two other girls texted me around the same day that they may be pregnant (missed periods). Shit hit the fan fast, all while I was meeting this girl who I REALLY like at the same time.
So... immediate reactions were my sister telling me she was extremely disappointed in me and essentially disowning me. This turned out to be exaggerated as she now wants me to move in with her because she thinks I am a sex addict and need rehab/therapy. She talked with my LTR for quite a bit. I think she may have calmed down my LTR and prevented her from breaking/burning all my shit.
I called my dad a day or so later and talked to him. He was mostly just telling me that running around with a bunch of women is a lost cause and is empty and shallow, and for the most part I agree anyway. He told me he still supports me no matter what I do, and I should ask for forgiveness from my LTR but not to get back with her, but so that we can both move on. He also said I needed to get my life right with God. But he also said none of what I did was shocking to him and he didn't really care that much, and he said if he was younger and more worldly he'd be mirin me for being such a man whore. He also said to get tested.
He said my Grandpa wouldn't care because he raised 4 boys and he's seen shit way worse than this. But also we both doubt he'll even see the pictures since he's not very tech fluent.
Rest of my family, idk or care that much.
For my LTR, I'm apologizing to her and feel really bad for hurting her to be honest. It was a really terrible feeling seeing her cry in person (I told the new girl I had to go do some stuff and made a trip home). The things she said destroyed me, and I honestly never want to make someone feel like that again. The stuff about being her best friend and doing this to her was terrible. I am apologizing for her sake and hoping she forgives me, just so she can move on and not be completely destroyed by me for her life...
As for the new girl, of course I didn't tell her what happened but the night I was notified she noticed my mood was completely different. Anyway, after a night of sleep I was able to act a bit more normally and she forgot about it. We had a really great time and honestly, I really like this new girl, as more than just a sex friend or something like that. We spent a lot of time just staring at each other and enjoying the moments we had. I have legit feelings for her now, and I told her I may want to live with her in the future and she said she wanted to. Dumb of me. But oh well.
Another note, @Face is everything for some reason thinks I was larping about the new girl cause I made a thread the previous night or two before about having a UTI. You can still fuck when you have a UTI, they aren't even contagious. Really dumb take ngl.
Anyway, I have no idea what will happen now. My LTR is actually acting a bit like she wants to forgive me, but flops to telling me to kill myself a second later. I really like that new girl but I have no idea what will happen with my LTR, and I feel responsible for destroying my LTR so I feel responsible for trying to heal her. Basically I'm fucked in a lot of ways. Ultimately, I never want to hurt someone like that again though, and if God gives me another chance with this new girl I'll stop fucking around with so many girls. @streege I'll probably also dedicate myself to living life with reason and purpose again, instead of pursuing what is fleeting and momentary and degenerate and hurting to others.
@MoeZart @RAITEIII @OOGABOOGA @Wallenberg @Baldingman1998 @WadlowMaxxing @lutte @Dukeys
She had found pictures/videos of me fucking other girls. She then took those pictures/videos and sent them to my family, including my dad, sister, grandfather, and some others. She also saw the evidence of me getting a girl pregnant, but she thinks the miscarriage happened. She also found conversations with me and a friend where I talked about and objectified women quite a bit, including racially (even discussing her race in a sexual manner). She sent that stuff too.
When this was all happening I was with a new girl I had recently connected with, an 18 year old with very little prior dating experience and also a virgin. To me she is the equivalent of ethnic Eva Cudmore, and I can look at pics of both and objectively she has a few better features but since this forum is white worshipping I'd say many would disagree. Bare minimum, fogs @TraumatisedOgre's avi to death. Regardless, she has insane collagen, top tier eye area, cute nose, great jaw, and I was her first... but it all just complicates things.
On top of this, two other girls texted me around the same day that they may be pregnant (missed periods). Shit hit the fan fast, all while I was meeting this girl who I REALLY like at the same time.
So... immediate reactions were my sister telling me she was extremely disappointed in me and essentially disowning me. This turned out to be exaggerated as she now wants me to move in with her because she thinks I am a sex addict and need rehab/therapy. She talked with my LTR for quite a bit. I think she may have calmed down my LTR and prevented her from breaking/burning all my shit.
I called my dad a day or so later and talked to him. He was mostly just telling me that running around with a bunch of women is a lost cause and is empty and shallow, and for the most part I agree anyway. He told me he still supports me no matter what I do, and I should ask for forgiveness from my LTR but not to get back with her, but so that we can both move on. He also said I needed to get my life right with God. But he also said none of what I did was shocking to him and he didn't really care that much, and he said if he was younger and more worldly he'd be mirin me for being such a man whore. He also said to get tested.
He said my Grandpa wouldn't care because he raised 4 boys and he's seen shit way worse than this. But also we both doubt he'll even see the pictures since he's not very tech fluent.
Rest of my family, idk or care that much.
For my LTR, I'm apologizing to her and feel really bad for hurting her to be honest. It was a really terrible feeling seeing her cry in person (I told the new girl I had to go do some stuff and made a trip home). The things she said destroyed me, and I honestly never want to make someone feel like that again. The stuff about being her best friend and doing this to her was terrible. I am apologizing for her sake and hoping she forgives me, just so she can move on and not be completely destroyed by me for her life...
As for the new girl, of course I didn't tell her what happened but the night I was notified she noticed my mood was completely different. Anyway, after a night of sleep I was able to act a bit more normally and she forgot about it. We had a really great time and honestly, I really like this new girl, as more than just a sex friend or something like that. We spent a lot of time just staring at each other and enjoying the moments we had. I have legit feelings for her now, and I told her I may want to live with her in the future and she said she wanted to. Dumb of me. But oh well.
Another note, @Face is everything for some reason thinks I was larping about the new girl cause I made a thread the previous night or two before about having a UTI. You can still fuck when you have a UTI, they aren't even contagious. Really dumb take ngl.
Anyway, I have no idea what will happen now. My LTR is actually acting a bit like she wants to forgive me, but flops to telling me to kill myself a second later. I really like that new girl but I have no idea what will happen with my LTR, and I feel responsible for destroying my LTR so I feel responsible for trying to heal her. Basically I'm fucked in a lot of ways. Ultimately, I never want to hurt someone like that again though, and if God gives me another chance with this new girl I'll stop fucking around with so many girls. @streege I'll probably also dedicate myself to living life with reason and purpose again, instead of pursuing what is fleeting and momentary and degenerate and hurting to others.
@MoeZart @RAITEIII @OOGABOOGA @Wallenberg @Baldingman1998 @WadlowMaxxing @lutte @Dukeys
