D
d4z
Iron
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2026
- Posts
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- Reputation
- 5
LIFE UPDATE #4
9/25/2026
w4
friday
My life:
Idk still shit nothing got better
school is weird i'm like kinda nt
idk tbh what to say i'm still like insecure as shit and unconfortable as fuck in my skin
doing what i should pretty much
Money:
Tbh even more shit rn
so last time i wrote i bought 4 10k prop firm accounts
so in like 3 days i made 5% profit on one of the accs
and than in 2 days i lost 8.5% and blew it by daily dd
now i got another acc up 4% and i think i'm better mentaly i'm just shit like at life like i'm an emotional bitch (hopping on roids soon)
My actual funded 5k acc is down 2.sth% now
fucked tbh i made 66$ today that 1%+ so idk
but still i mean looks like we aren't coming back
I'm looking to pass and get a payout from a 10k that's like the goal
cuz i mean even 5% payout like 500$ go a long way or wtv idk if it's like 90/10 split
! trynna make a guide for myself ts weekend/next week !
cuz like bro if i explain trading to sb like i can make sb profitable in like 60 days but ive been failing for 3.5y
like i'm so fucking retarded it's insane
ive been too confortable my whole life coming from upper middle class family like worst shit ever being pampered as a kid and bullshited as a teen
summary:
actual funded account
-down 2.16%
2 step account (this is step 1 10% prof goal)
-up 4.08%
and than i gt make a pdf guide for myself to read and reread and learn from myself cuz i am a brain fogged 472ng/dl testosterone level pussy
GYM:
Trynna order roids
ye i said fuck it i ain't making money soon enough i js wanna hop on test cuz i can't affoard shit
my source fucking playin leaving me on read
ill rip my hair out if i get scammed again holy first quortile iq
Goal is hop on roids by mid october hope ill acc achieve that
I got sum money together gotta js get a fucking response from ts chinapeople
i'm boutta get scammed again
I started bulking tho
going absolutely shit
I failed 120kg on bench
that's fucking insane
i haven't not been able to hit that weight in over 6 months
71kg rn still short small and skinnyfat
goal is to get back up to 130 for like not too horrible of a rep by the time i pin for the first time
and than like a 160ish by end of the year might add in elbow wraps tho so idk possibly more than 160? or 160 in wraps? is 30kg gain retarded in 3 months? possibly
either way so i got a gym membership
first time back in a commercial gym in what like 2 years almost?
Pretty nice idk i'm rlly sore lol i usually don't get sore
finna acc build muscle insted of js losing it due to cutting like a retard
few goals for now:
1. 130kg bench
2. 40kgx15 incline db press
3. 40kgx6 db shoulder press
4. 30 pullups in a row
5. 100x6 bb rows (actual reps not what i do now)
6. back to 16 inch biceps ( I somehow lost 3.5cm bicep size during the cut like this is fucking insane)
7. back to peak bicep strenght (fully fix wrist)
8. 80kg cheat curl (bb)
9. 66kg ez curl bar cheat curls for couple okish reps
10. 56kg strict curl (i still haven't hit an actual clean 50kg+ strict curl BRUTAL)
(----56 and 66 cuz my super ez curl bar is 6 kg----)
11. back to peak armwresling strenght get back into training for it:
-25-30kg pronation for reps
-20-25kg riser for reps
blue is b4 roids
red is say like first month on
*armwresling can be faster but i mean idk with school and extra hours cuz i have big exam i am still fighting time management with training
also soreness my muscles still need to adapt to the new training increse
so ye idk we'll see how it goes
1. but i need my 130kg bench back(been like 3 months since i hit 130)(suuuper ego like raw but ass up horrible form)
2. and than db press so day one in the gym i hit 37.5 for like 8-10 reps or sth which was cool cuz i never went over like 35 ever before i was so unstable but still managed with 37.5kg also like 2y ago in the gym like max was 32.5 for like 4 5
I did 35s in like some hotel gym or sth a while back
3. and than shoulder press i did 30kg for 10 or 12 but i fkin love that exercise like bro 40kg is fucking retarded but game is game ill be delusional on ts one
(gym max weight on dbs is 40kg my db press goal would have been higher)
4. 30 pullups in a row i mean idk i want 20 w good form and than 10 strugle ups
cuz rn i can do 15 w like okish form and 5 strugle ups
i wanna do like 50-100 pullups ever morning so ill get back
5. than rows ive never acc been able to do clean reps w 100
like back when i was 85kg like i did 100 for 8 but i mean idk maybe 3 clean reps or like okish reps and than brutal lower back strain
6. 16 inch biceps like bro idk wtf but like how the fuck my biceps go from 40.5cm->37cm like holy shit dude
7. and than wrist has js been fucked for forever i started taking msm i wanted to buy bpc but it would have doubled my stack cost
idk like it's better and better hopefully over the next 2 weeks it'll stop bothering me fully.
! ! ! we'll see later w the arm strenght arms are goals for first cycle
gon try get to 17 inch possibly and than gooood strenght
like 80-90kg for reps on cheat curls (i have insane form like holy back breaking form)
and than armwresling i also wanna progress no comps nothin i js want raw strenght idk
ill post goals for cycle when i acc hop on tho cuz i can't be dreaming too hard still a natty bitch still weak as shit
Extra:
-Still daydreaming abt girls like i'm not antisocial autistic and low test and i have any chances
-Somehow still not bloated even on the bulk 600mg caffeine avg intake and sooome potassium keeps me looking okish skin started to break out tho 3 pimples and i still want holy skin
-I'm lowk still lmtn and hai looks rlly nice in the back i still look like a tini tiny boy from the front
with a 19 inch bidelt long neck and wide face while still somehow having a tiny skull
-I lowk wanna rope every time i go to the gym bcs i go with 2 of my friends that are for some reason both over 6'2 and for some reason have some of the largest skeletons ive ever seen(not height) hands twice as mine clavicles terramog me and their skull is so fucking huge
I look in the mirror i look fine and than one of them comes in the frame and i want to jump of the window
105kg and 95kg
-I still need to lie to myself abt sum dream life to fall asleep
-I'm still changing music taste by the hour and letting it decide my mood (12 yo girl at heart)
Ive thought many times about actually comiting suicide this week sad
buttt i made like a half plan kinda like leaving school and js trynna get a job
and chances are veeery high for an okish life
Like i can make 1000eur a month and living for like 800ish
so ez cycle ez life wtv
and than larp for a call center remote job for 3 bands a month
peace
9/25/2026
w4
friday
My life:
Idk still shit nothing got better
school is weird i'm like kinda nt
idk tbh what to say i'm still like insecure as shit and unconfortable as fuck in my skin
trynna get better half locked in rn
doing what i should pretty much
Money:
Tbh even more shit rn
so last time i wrote i bought 4 10k prop firm accounts
so in like 3 days i made 5% profit on one of the accs
and than in 2 days i lost 8.5% and blew it by daily dd
now i got another acc up 4% and i think i'm better mentaly i'm just shit like at life like i'm an emotional bitch (hopping on roids soon)
My actual funded 5k acc is down 2.sth% now
fucked tbh i made 66$ today that 1%+ so idk
but still i mean looks like we aren't coming back
I'm looking to pass and get a payout from a 10k that's like the goal
cuz i mean even 5% payout like 500$ go a long way or wtv idk if it's like 90/10 split
! trynna make a guide for myself ts weekend/next week !
cuz like bro if i explain trading to sb like i can make sb profitable in like 60 days but ive been failing for 3.5y
like i'm so fucking retarded it's insane
ive been too confortable my whole life coming from upper middle class family like worst shit ever being pampered as a kid and bullshited as a teen
summary:
actual funded account
-down 2.16%
2 step account (this is step 1 10% prof goal)
-up 4.08%
and than i gt make a pdf guide for myself to read and reread and learn from myself cuz i am a brain fogged 472ng/dl testosterone level pussy
GYM:
Trynna order roids
ye i said fuck it i ain't making money soon enough i js wanna hop on test cuz i can't affoard shit
my source fucking playin leaving me on read
ill rip my hair out if i get scammed again holy first quortile iq
Goal is hop on roids by mid october hope ill acc achieve that
I got sum money together gotta js get a fucking response from ts chinapeople
i'm boutta get scammed again
I started bulking tho
going absolutely shit
I failed 120kg on bench
that's fucking insane
i haven't not been able to hit that weight in over 6 months
71kg rn still short small and skinnyfat
goal is to get back up to 130 for like not too horrible of a rep by the time i pin for the first time
and than like a 160ish by end of the year might add in elbow wraps tho so idk possibly more than 160? or 160 in wraps? is 30kg gain retarded in 3 months? possibly
either way so i got a gym membership
first time back in a commercial gym in what like 2 years almost?
Pretty nice idk i'm rlly sore lol i usually don't get sore
finna acc build muscle insted of js losing it due to cutting like a retard
few goals for now:
1. 130kg bench
2. 40kgx15 incline db press
3. 40kgx6 db shoulder press
4. 30 pullups in a row
5. 100x6 bb rows (actual reps not what i do now)
6. back to 16 inch biceps ( I somehow lost 3.5cm bicep size during the cut like this is fucking insane)
7. back to peak bicep strenght (fully fix wrist)
8. 80kg cheat curl (bb)
9. 66kg ez curl bar cheat curls for couple okish reps
10. 56kg strict curl (i still haven't hit an actual clean 50kg+ strict curl BRUTAL)
(----56 and 66 cuz my super ez curl bar is 6 kg----)
11. back to peak armwresling strenght get back into training for it:
-25-30kg pronation for reps
-20-25kg riser for reps
blue is b4 roids
red is say like first month on
*armwresling can be faster but i mean idk with school and extra hours cuz i have big exam i am still fighting time management with training
also soreness my muscles still need to adapt to the new training increse
so ye idk we'll see how it goes
1. but i need my 130kg bench back(been like 3 months since i hit 130)(suuuper ego like raw but ass up horrible form)
2. and than db press so day one in the gym i hit 37.5 for like 8-10 reps or sth which was cool cuz i never went over like 35 ever before i was so unstable but still managed with 37.5kg also like 2y ago in the gym like max was 32.5 for like 4 5
I did 35s in like some hotel gym or sth a while back
3. and than shoulder press i did 30kg for 10 or 12 but i fkin love that exercise like bro 40kg is fucking retarded but game is game ill be delusional on ts one
(gym max weight on dbs is 40kg my db press goal would have been higher)
4. 30 pullups in a row i mean idk i want 20 w good form and than 10 strugle ups
cuz rn i can do 15 w like okish form and 5 strugle ups
i wanna do like 50-100 pullups ever morning so ill get back
5. than rows ive never acc been able to do clean reps w 100
like back when i was 85kg like i did 100 for 8 but i mean idk maybe 3 clean reps or like okish reps and than brutal lower back strain
6. 16 inch biceps like bro idk wtf but like how the fuck my biceps go from 40.5cm->37cm like holy shit dude
7. and than wrist has js been fucked for forever i started taking msm i wanted to buy bpc but it would have doubled my stack cost
idk like it's better and better hopefully over the next 2 weeks it'll stop bothering me fully.
! ! ! we'll see later w the arm strenght arms are goals for first cycle
gon try get to 17 inch possibly and than gooood strenght
like 80-90kg for reps on cheat curls (i have insane form like holy back breaking form)
and than armwresling i also wanna progress no comps nothin i js want raw strenght idk
ill post goals for cycle when i acc hop on tho cuz i can't be dreaming too hard still a natty bitch still weak as shit
Extra:
-Still daydreaming abt girls like i'm not antisocial autistic and low test and i have any chances
-Somehow still not bloated even on the bulk 600mg caffeine avg intake and sooome potassium keeps me looking okish skin started to break out tho 3 pimples and i still want holy skin
-I'm lowk still lmtn and hai looks rlly nice in the back i still look like a tini tiny boy from the front
with a 19 inch bidelt long neck and wide face while still somehow having a tiny skull
-I lowk wanna rope every time i go to the gym bcs i go with 2 of my friends that are for some reason both over 6'2 and for some reason have some of the largest skeletons ive ever seen(not height) hands twice as mine clavicles terramog me and their skull is so fucking huge
I look in the mirror i look fine and than one of them comes in the frame and i want to jump of the window
105kg and 95kg
-I still need to lie to myself abt sum dream life to fall asleep
-I'm still changing music taste by the hour and letting it decide my mood (12 yo girl at heart)
Ive thought many times about actually comiting suicide this week sad
buttt i made like a half plan kinda like leaving school and js trynna get a job
and chances are veeery high for an okish life
Like i can make 1000eur a month and living for like 800ish
so ez cycle ez life wtv
and than larp for a call center remote job for 3 bands a month
peace
