Little vent about how my life sucks

wannabepinner

wannabepinner

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I just want to write this out to get all my feelings out there. I have been feeling so depressed lately its kinda crazy. I have always been bullied but like they are my friends so its chill. My nickname is literally fucking chopped boy. My mom just walked into my room asking if I was depressed. She did this, I think, to try and start something. She brought it up so casually. I have been going to a therapist and that has been helping, but still idk. I cursed at her and told her to get out of my room, then she started blowing up and yelling and called my dad. She told him that I cursed at her and he started hitting me. It wasnt crazy, like I barley even felt it. Then I told him about what she said and then he started to feel bad and take my side. My dad then left, then she had the audacity to sit on my bed like she didnt start this entire thing. I yelled to get the fuck out, then she said that I was psychotic and that she was afraid of me. That really hurt, she said like 2 months ago that she thought that I was insane and that also stuck with me. I dont want to be like this. I think I may have some form of nd like autism or something, because I cant really control my emotions or pick up on social cues. I also see it in my dad a bit. I dont want to be violent but like this world sucks, and is filled with hateful people who hate on people. I try to be nice to overcome this but it still sucks. I am a sophomore and do wrestling. There are these popular kids who I met, and I was chill with them. Then idk I guess they realized I was an easy target and started 2v1ing me. It sucks because sometimes I wont pick up on social cues and then I realized I fucked up and feel horrible. I have been bullied since middleschool and I lowkey hate myself. I also hate how I look, even with consistent work in the gym and overall like a 10x improvement in everything. I have a absolutely fried sphenoid and it makes me incredibly asymmetrical to the point that sometimes I see that my glasses are uneven on my face.

TLDR: I just had an argument with my mom, who is scared of me and thinks I am psychotic and depressed. I hate myself and may be nd. I just want to be a kind person, but everyone bullies me and I have a hard time controlling my emotions.
 
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Stop being a pussy
 
Mirror her. Let a few days go by and disturb her when she's doing something. Ask her if she's depressed.
 
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I just want to write this out to get all my feelings out there. I have been feeling so depressed lately its kinda crazy. I have always been bullied but like they are my friends so its chill. My nickname is literally fucking chopped boy. My mom just walked into my room asking if I was depressed. She did this, I think, to try and start something. She brought it up so casually. I have been going to a therapist and that has been helping, but still idk. I cursed at her and told her to get out of my room, then she started blowing up and yelling and called my dad. She told him that I cursed at her and he started hitting me. It wasnt crazy, like I barley even felt it. Then I told him about what she said and then he started to feel bad and take my side. My dad then left, then she had the audacity to sit on my bed like she didnt start this entire thing. I yelled to get the fuck out, then she said that I was psychotic and that she was afraid of me. That really hurt, she said like 2 months ago that she thought that I was insane and that also stuck with me. I dont want to be like this. I think I may have some form of nd like autism or something, because I cant really control my emotions or pick up on social cues. I also see it in my dad a bit. I dont want to be violent but like this world sucks, and is filled with hateful people who hate on people. I try to be nice to overcome this but it still sucks. I am a sophomore and do wrestling. There are these popular kids who I met, and I was chill with them. Then idk I guess they realized I was an easy target and started 2v1ing me. It sucks because sometimes I wont pick up on social cues and then I realized I fucked up and feel horrible. I have been bullied since middleschool and I lowkey hate myself. I also hate how I look, even with consistent work in the gym and overall like a 10x improvement in everything. I have a absolutely fried sphenoid and it makes me incredibly asymmetrical to the point that sometimes I see that my glasses are uneven on my face.

TLDR: I just had an argument with my mom, who is scared of me and thinks I am psychotic and depressed. I hate myself and may be nd. I just want to be a kind person, but everyone bullies me and I have a hard time controlling my emotions.
Holy shit you remind me in hs. I’m sorry that happened
 
Stop being a pussy
Ik my life is pretty good compared to most people on this site but how can I stop being a pussy. I am trying to be better but literally people said I look much better but still really fucking ugly. Idk about my parents its mainly my mom. She used to be an alcoholic to.
 
I just want to write this out to get all my feelings out there. I have been feeling so depressed lately its kinda crazy. I have always been bullied but like they are my friends so its chill. My nickname is literally fucking chopped boy. My mom just walked into my room asking if I was depressed. She did this, I think, to try and start something. She brought it up so casually. I have been going to a therapist and that has been helping, but still idk. I cursed at her and told her to get out of my room, then she started blowing up and yelling and called my dad. She told him that I cursed at her and he started hitting me. It wasnt crazy, like I barley even felt it. Then I told him about what she said and then he started to feel bad and take my side. My dad then left, then she had the audacity to sit on my bed like she didnt start this entire thing. I yelled to get the fuck out, then she said that I was psychotic and that she was afraid of me. That really hurt, she said like 2 months ago that she thought that I was insane and that also stuck with me. I dont want to be like this. I think I may have some form of nd like autism or something, because I cant really control my emotions or pick up on social cues. I also see it in my dad a bit. I dont want to be violent but like this world sucks, and is filled with hateful people who hate on people. I try to be nice to overcome this but it still sucks. I am a sophomore and do wrestling. There are these popular kids who I met, and I was chill with them. Then idk I guess they realized I was an easy target and started 2v1ing me. It sucks because sometimes I wont pick up on social cues and then I realized I fucked up and feel horrible. I have been bullied since middleschool and I lowkey hate myself. I also hate how I look, even with consistent work in the gym and overall like a 10x improvement in everything. I have a absolutely fried sphenoid and it makes me incredibly asymmetrical to the point that sometimes I see that my glasses are uneven on my face.

TLDR: I just had an argument with my mom, who is scared of me and thinks I am psychotic and depressed. I hate myself and may be nd. I just want to be a kind person, but everyone bullies me and I have a hard time controlling my emotions.
yo this guys name is chopped boy im fucking crying
 

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Mirror her. Let a few days go by and disturb her when she's doing something. Ask her if she's depressed.
but I dont want to be her. Why would I want anyone to feel how I feel right now. I just want to be a good person, even against people who are mean to me
 
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Its chill though, ill just keep my head down and do better
Lmk if you ever want for vent in pms, you legit need to someone to talk to mgl bro
 
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Ik my life is pretty good compared to most people on this site but how can I stop being a pussy. I am trying to be better but literally people said I look much better but still really fucking ugly. Idk about my parents its mainly my mom. She used to be an alcoholic to.
source.gif
 
I just want to write this out to get all my feelings out there. I have been feeling so depressed lately its kinda crazy. I have always been bullied but like they are my friends so its chill. My nickname is literally fucking chopped boy. My mom just walked into my room asking if I was depressed. She did this, I think, to try and start something. She brought it up so casually. I have been going to a therapist and that has been helping, but still idk. I cursed at her and told her to get out of my room, then she started blowing up and yelling and called my dad. She told him that I cursed at her and he started hitting me. It wasnt crazy, like I barley even felt it. Then I told him about what she said and then he started to feel bad and take my side. My dad then left, then she had the audacity to sit on my bed like she didnt start this entire thing. I yelled to get the fuck out, then she said that I was psychotic and that she was afraid of me. That really hurt, she said like 2 months ago that she thought that I was insane and that also stuck with me. I dont want to be like this. I think I may have some form of nd like autism or something, because I cant really control my emotions or pick up on social cues. I also see it in my dad a bit. I dont want to be violent but like this world sucks, and is filled with hateful people who hate on people. I try to be nice to overcome this but it still sucks. I am a sophomore and do wrestling. There are these popular kids who I met, and I was chill with them. Then idk I guess they realized I was an easy target and started 2v1ing me. It sucks because sometimes I wont pick up on social cues and then I realized I fucked up and feel horrible. I have been bullied since middleschool and I lowkey hate myself. I also hate how I look, even with consistent work in the gym and overall like a 10x improvement in everything. I have a absolutely fried sphenoid and it makes me incredibly asymmetrical to the point that sometimes I see that my glasses are uneven on my face.

TLDR: I just had an argument with my mom, who is scared of me and thinks I am psychotic and depressed. I hate myself and may be nd. I just want to be a kind person, but everyone bullies me and I have a hard time controlling my emotions.
Bro ngl other men calling u chopped fucking sucks, one of my hbs says ts to me and im pretty sure hes joking but it lowers ur confidence hella.
 
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Bro ngl other men calling u chopped fucking sucks, one of my hbs says ts to me and im pretty sure hes joking but it lowers ur confidence hella.
yeah but its to the point that thats literally what they use as my name. Some of my "friends" dont even call me by my name. OMFG they literally made it worse. They went from chopped boy to CHOPPED FAG FUCK MAN. I really liked some of these kids to
 
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yeah but its to the point that thats literally what they use as my name. Some of my "friends" dont even call me by my name. OMFG they literally made it worse. They went from chopped boy to CHOPPED FAG FUCK MAN. I really liked some of these kids to
Damn bro I feel u that fucking sucks. If you were being honest where would u fall on the lm scale?
 
Damn bro I feel u that fucking sucks. If you were being honest where would u fall on the lm scale?
probably ltn. I get called subhuman by like a lot of people at my school who found out about this a month ago. I deadass used to be subhuman I was 150 at like 5'5 with like 20% bodyfat and couldnt even bench the bar. Maybe lltn but like I think its cause im incredibly assymetrical so im just cooked. I would send a photo but ive been crying for an hour so mb
 
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Reactions: mltn2mtn
I just want to write this out to get all my feelings out there. I have been feeling so depressed lately its kinda crazy. I have always been bullied but like they are my friends so its chill. My nickname is literally fucking chopped boy. My mom just walked into my room asking if I was depressed. She did this, I think, to try and start something. She brought it up so casually. I have been going to a therapist and that has been helping, but still idk. I cursed at her and told her to get out of my room, then she started blowing up and yelling and called my dad. She told him that I cursed at her and he started hitting me. It wasnt crazy, like I barley even felt it. Then I told him about what she said and then he started to feel bad and take my side. My dad then left, then she had the audacity to sit on my bed like she didnt start this entire thing. I yelled to get the fuck out, then she said that I was psychotic and that she was afraid of me. That really hurt, she said like 2 months ago that she thought that I was insane and that also stuck with me. I dont want to be like this. I think I may have some form of nd like autism or something, because I cant really control my emotions or pick up on social cues. I also see it in my dad a bit. I dont want to be violent but like this world sucks, and is filled with hateful people who hate on people. I try to be nice to overcome this but it still sucks. I am a sophomore and do wrestling. There are these popular kids who I met, and I was chill with them. Then idk I guess they realized I was an easy target and started 2v1ing me. It sucks because sometimes I wont pick up on social cues and then I realized I fucked up and feel horrible. I have been bullied since middleschool and I lowkey hate myself. I also hate how I look, even with consistent work in the gym and overall like a 10x improvement in everything. I have a absolutely fried sphenoid and it makes me incredibly asymmetrical to the point that sometimes I see that my glasses are uneven on my face.

TLDR: I just had an argument with my mom, who is scared of me and thinks I am psychotic and depressed. I hate myself and may be nd. I just want to be a kind person, but everyone bullies me and I have a hard time controlling my emotions.

but I dont want to be her. Why would I want anyone to feel how I feel right now. I just want to be a good person, even against people who are mean to me
Don't be foolish. She doesn't have the same feelings as you or normal people. All that will do, mirroring her, is show her that you know she's just manipulating you.

And stop letting your mother's words fuck with your head. You need to be getting the perception you have of yourself from yourself, and nobody else.

Your mother doesn't sound like a very good person. She's not scared of you. When women say things like that it's just a form of manipulation. If she were really scared of you she wouldn't be coming in your room to fuck with you.

Your mother sounds like the mother I had. I'm 38 years old. It's not gonna get any better.

 
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Your mother doesn't sound like a very good person. She's not scared of you. When women say things like that it's just a form of manipulation. If she were really scared of you she wouldn't be coming in your room to fuck with you.
yeah but she like sometimes genuinely flinches at me and it makes me feel like rlly bad. Thx for the vid. Ive been thinking about this for a while but she is like the cause of all my problems. My school troubles (not even bad im like a 3.75gpa student I think), my emotional troubles, and probably some deep problems I have from when she was an alcholoic. I know she has the best for me at her heart but fuck man. I think she thinks im a loser.
 
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probably ltn. I get called subhuman by like a lot of people at my school who found out about this a month ago. I deadass used to be subhuman I was 150 at like 5'5 with like 20% bodyfat and couldnt even bench the bar. Maybe lltn but like I think its cause im incredibly assymetrical so im just cooked. I would send a photo but ive been crying for an hour so mb
Damn bro alr yeah ltn isn’t even bad bro, i feel like it’s probably your confidence that is fucking you. I know genuine subhumans in my school that have no friends, yet don’t get made fun of because they talk to no one. If you were subhuman you would likely have no friends, not even fake ones. Also being short may contribute to it but it’s probably js that ur an easy target. Besides, once ur an adult this will all go away no one is going to call u “chopped boy”
 
I just want to write this out to get all my feelings out there. I have been feeling so depressed lately its kinda crazy. I have always been bullied but like they are my friends so its chill. My nickname is literally fucking chopped boy. My mom just walked into my room asking if I was depressed. She did this, I think, to try and start something. She brought it up so casually. I have been going to a therapist and that has been helping, but still idk. I cursed at her and told her to get out of my room, then she started blowing up and yelling and called my dad. She told him that I cursed at her and he started hitting me. It wasnt crazy, like I barley even felt it. Then I told him about what she said and then he started to feel bad and take my side. My dad then left, then she had the audacity to sit on my bed like she didnt start this entire thing. I yelled to get the fuck out, then she said that I was psychotic and that she was afraid of me. That really hurt, she said like 2 months ago that she thought that I was insane and that also stuck with me. I dont want to be like this. I think I may have some form of nd like autism or something, because I cant really control my emotions or pick up on social cues. I also see it in my dad a bit. I dont want to be violent but like this world sucks, and is filled with hateful people who hate on people. I try to be nice to overcome this but it still sucks. I am a sophomore and do wrestling. There are these popular kids who I met, and I was chill with them. Then idk I guess they realized I was an easy target and started 2v1ing me. It sucks because sometimes I wont pick up on social cues and then I realized I fucked up and feel horrible. I have been bullied since middleschool and I lowkey hate myself. I also hate how I look, even with consistent work in the gym and overall like a 10x improvement in everything. I have a absolutely fried sphenoid and it makes me incredibly asymmetrical to the point that sometimes I see that my glasses are uneven on my face.

TLDR: I just had an argument with my mom, who is scared of me and thinks I am psychotic and depressed. I hate myself and may be nd. I just want to be a kind person, but everyone bullies me and I have a hard time controlling my emotions.
dnr, hope you feel better tho :cry:
 
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yeah but she like sometimes genuinely flinches at me and it makes me feel like rlly bad. Thx for the vid. Ive been thinking about this for a while but she is like the cause of all my problems. My school troubles (not even bad im like a 3.75gpa student I think), my emotional troubles, and probably some deep problems I have from when she was an alcholoic. I know she has the best for me at her heart but fuck man. I think she thinks im a loser.
It's a put on dude. Open your eyes. I promise she's not scared of you. Women will make themselves flinch, cry, and even have "panic" attacks to gain leverage over anyone who will believe it. They'll tell you they can't sleep and all other sorts of bullshit.

She does not have the best for you at heart. You need to wake up.
 
Damn bro alr yeah ltn isn’t even bad bro, i feel like it’s probably your confidence that is fucking you. I know genuine subhumans in my school that have no friends, yet don’t get made fun of because they talk to no one. If you were subhuman you would likely have no friends, not even fake ones. Also being short may contribute to it but it’s probably js that ur an easy target. Besides, once ur an adult this will all go away no one is going to call u “chopped boy”
I grew tho im like 5'9 though so its chill. I was incredibly confident when I was subhuman because I was oblivious to the fact I was subhuman and I had some friends. Looking back at middleschool people pitied me and thought I was probably autistic cause I did things like read manga at the lunch table and in school. They arent even fake its just so common to call me chopped boy that they do it. The one who created it realized he took it to far when I told him I might be depressed and am seeing a therapist cause of him. He changed it from chopped boy to cute boy. Ik it will go away, but ive internalized it so hard that at least once a day in the mirror ill like flex and be unhappy with myself or just outright call myself names
 
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It's a put on dude. Open your eyes. I promise she's not scared of you. Women will make themselves flinch, cry, and even have "panic" attacks to gain leverage over anyone who will believe it. They'll tell you they can't sleep and all other sorts of bullshit.

She does not have the best for you at heart. You need to wake up.
I refuse to believe that. She is my mom man, she has to love me man. Ik I sound delusional but I dont get how she couldnt not love me
 
I mean like im trying man. I am trying to cope when the world beats me down but being called chopped fag everyday of your life and not being able to look at yourself in the mirror without thinking about your insecurities sucks. How do I do it man
 
I refuse to believe that. She is my mom man, she has to love me man. Ik I sound delusional but I dont get how she couldnt not love me
Do you really believe you're the kind of guy someone could be fearful of? Especially someone who knows you so well? The type of guy who feels bad and hurt over someone saying they are scared of you? Don't be a schmuck.

You might not want to believe it but I know all too well and have seen it a thousand times.

She loves control more than she loves you. That's a fact. You can choose not to believe it but the end will be very bitter for you.
 
Do you really believe you're the kind of guy someone could be fearful of? Especially someone who knows you so well? The type of guy who feels bad and hurt over someone saying they are scared of you? Don't be a schmuck.

You might not want to believe it but I know all too well and have seen it a thousand times.

She loves control more than she loves you. That's a fact. You can choose not to believe it but the end will be very bitter for you.
I mean yeah I do. I used to be a pretty violent kid. I also lose my temper very easy and get pretty extreme. Like I said I cant control my emotions as well as I want to. She is very controlling but whats next after I mirror her. We get into more fights? She just stays equally as controlling right?
 
I mean yeah I do. I used to be a pretty violent kid. I also lose my temper very easy and get pretty extreme. Like I said I cant control my emotions as well as I want to. She is very controlling but whats next after I mirror her. We get into more fights? She just stays equally as controlling right?
You're not gonna change her. But you can let her know that you're not gonna continue to be controlled. Yes, she'll intensify her tactics. She'll make you a scapegoat and tell everyone in your family you're a bastard. But if you continue to allow her to control you it will cause you infinitely more grief in the long run. As you get older she'll effectively destroy your relationships.

Trust me, I'm a parent myself. No parent doesn't know their child when it comes to things like this. She knows 100% without a doubt that you will never strike her. I can tell just by talking to you on here that you're not the type of guy who's capable of ever getting violent with his own mother, and I guarantee she knows this better than I do.

Just thinks about what I said in the years to come.
 
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You're not gonna change her. But you can let her know that you're not gonna continue to be controlled. Yes, she'll intensify her tactics. She'll make you a scapegoat and tell everyone in your family you're a bastard. But if you continue to allow her to control you it will cause you infinitely more grief in the long run. As you get older she'll effectively destroy your relationships.

Trust me, I'm a parent myself. No parent doesn't know their child when it comes to things like this. She knows 100% without a doubt that you will never strike her. I can tell just by talking to you on here that you're not the type of guy who's capable of ever getting violent with his own mother, and I guarantee she knows this better than I do.

Just thinks about what I said in the years to come.
appreciate it man ill keep this in mind
 
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You're not gonna change her. But you can let her know that you're not gonna continue to be controlled. Yes, she'll intensify her tactics. She'll make you a scapegoat and tell everyone in your family you're a bastard. But if you continue to allow her to control you it will cause you infinitely more grief in the long run. As you get older she'll effectively destroy your relationships.

Trust me, I'm a parent myself. No parent doesn't know their child when it comes to things like this. She knows 100% without a doubt that you will never strike her. I can tell just by talking to you on here that you're not the type of guy who's capable of ever getting violent with his own mother, and I guarantee she knows this better than I do.

Just thinks about what I said in the years to come.
Yeah I watched the vid, literally perfectly described my mom until the last one. Shit might be cooked, I should bring this up w my therapist right?
 
Yeah I watched the vid, literally perfectly described my mom until the last one. Shit might be cooked, I should bring this up w my therapist right?
I don't know. I'm not a proponent of therapy. My mother tried putting me in therapy when I was about 14. Guy was a quack. Maybe you should. It's up to you.



This is what will happen if you get married. When I was a teen I instinctually knew not to bring girls around the house. When I got married though I rekindled the relationship I had with my parents for a short time, because I thought it was the right thing to do. It was a mistake. I had to lay down the law and as a result my mother has everyone in our family, including my father, thinking I'm a bad guy. So be it though. My wife and son are way more important to me than any of them will ever be.
 
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