wannabepinner
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2026
- Posts
- 73
- Reputation
- 24
I just want to write this out to get all my feelings out there. I have been feeling so depressed lately its kinda crazy. I have always been bullied but like they are my friends so its chill. My nickname is literally fucking chopped boy. My mom just walked into my room asking if I was depressed. She did this, I think, to try and start something. She brought it up so casually. I have been going to a therapist and that has been helping, but still idk. I cursed at her and told her to get out of my room, then she started blowing up and yelling and called my dad. She told him that I cursed at her and he started hitting me. It wasnt crazy, like I barley even felt it. Then I told him about what she said and then he started to feel bad and take my side. My dad then left, then she had the audacity to sit on my bed like she didnt start this entire thing. I yelled to get the fuck out, then she said that I was psychotic and that she was afraid of me. That really hurt, she said like 2 months ago that she thought that I was insane and that also stuck with me. I dont want to be like this. I think I may have some form of nd like autism or something, because I cant really control my emotions or pick up on social cues. I also see it in my dad a bit. I dont want to be violent but like this world sucks, and is filled with hateful people who hate on people. I try to be nice to overcome this but it still sucks. I am a sophomore and do wrestling. There are these popular kids who I met, and I was chill with them. Then idk I guess they realized I was an easy target and started 2v1ing me. It sucks because sometimes I wont pick up on social cues and then I realized I fucked up and feel horrible. I have been bullied since middleschool and I lowkey hate myself. I also hate how I look, even with consistent work in the gym and overall like a 10x improvement in everything. I have a absolutely fried sphenoid and it makes me incredibly asymmetrical to the point that sometimes I see that my glasses are uneven on my face.
TLDR: I just had an argument with my mom, who is scared of me and thinks I am psychotic and depressed. I hate myself and may be nd. I just want to be a kind person, but everyone bullies me and I have a hard time controlling my emotions.
TLDR: I just had an argument with my mom, who is scared of me and thinks I am psychotic and depressed. I hate myself and may be nd. I just want to be a kind person, but everyone bullies me and I have a hard time controlling my emotions.