Looking down at seven bottles of pills and wondering, "How did I get here?"

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and dreams with a stranger can and will be used against you later. But if you do this under "genuine" anonymity, you're good. But one feller wasn't so fortunate. His family is moderately retarded. They encouraged him to see a stranger and open up.

Bouke Mouke was your average teenager. He just graduated from high school with *NCLB honors. However, he wasn't the social type. He kept to himself. So the parents set him up with a **mind rapist.

After a dozen sessions, Mr. Hanky advised Bouke to take medications. He convinced him that he was a danger to himself and to others.

Five years later, Mouke looks down at seven bottles of pills, wondering, "How did I get here?"

*NCLB: No Child Left Behind
**Mind rapist: therapist.

 

[Sayori]

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

View attachment 5058798

Then why the fuck did you like it?

 

[Sayori]

Then why the fuck did you like it?

U put effort into it

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

U put effort into it

 

[soulless_npc]

Therapy

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

Therapy
View attachment 5058822

Exactly. Pills can't help you. But you can help yourself! And never, ever believe the snake oil salesman's gimmick, "See the pills as an extra helper. Like an aide!"

 

[soulless_npc]

Exactly. Pills can't help you. But you can help yourself! And never, ever believe the snake oil salesman's gimmick, "See the pills as an extra helper. Like an aide!"

I'm 5 months off Abilify and still dealing with the side effects

If what I read is true I have permanent low T now but I'm going to get it checked

I'm outraged and have every right to be

It's sabotage I tell you

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

I'm 5 months off Abilify and still dealing with the side effects

If what I read is true I have permanent low T now but I'm going to get it checked

I'm outraged and have every right to be

It's sabotage I tell you

I know. I dealt with the deadly side effects myself. Those people only care about their prosperity. We are nothing but a stack of cash to those fuckers.

 

[Awest]

Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and dreams with a stranger can and will be used against you later. But if you do this under "genuine" anonymity, you're good. But one feller wasn't so fortunate. His family is moderately retarded. They encouraged him to see a stranger and open up.

Bouke Mouke was your average teenager. He just graduated from high school with *NCLB honors. However, he wasn't the social type. He kept to himself. So the parents set him up with a **mind rapist.

After a dozen sessions, Mr. Hanky advised Bouke to take medications. He convinced him that he was a danger to himself and to others.

Five years later, Mouke looks down at seven bottles of pills, wondering, "How did I get here?"

*NCLB: No Child Left Behind
**Mind rapist: therapist.

I am sorry for you brother

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

I am sorry for you brother

Understanding what it takes for a person to write that with passion, I am more concerned about you. Take better care of your mind, buddy. Don't become one of those weirdos.

 

[soulless_npc]

I know. I dealt with the deadly side effects myself. Those people only care about their prosperity. We are nothing but a stack of cash to those fuckers.

I'll throw myself into work, as a way to distract myself and channel some of the residual mania, and with the knowledge that no one will save me but me. LDARing and NEETing are not acceptable courses of action, and only ever brought further shame and heartbreak. I'm fucked up, but I know it, and I still try to see the good in people.

A ton of people are on medication for anxiety and depression, I feel like this further pulls the wool over your eyes. Effective therapy if such a thing exists would target childhood trauma as being the biggest source of adult depression and self hatred. But my problem was that I lived in childhood paradigms into adulthood. I always told myself I'd never grow up, until I did and when I did I hated myself for being a lame kid.

But I'm in a different paradigm now, and the only way to leave an old one is to enter a new one. The future is uncertain. But I only ever wanted the simple things in life really. Getting older is just sad man. I underestimated what it takes to be an exceptional. I dunno if I can make a comeback. At least I'll die trying.

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

I'll throw myself into work, as a way to distract myself and channel some of the residual mania, and with the knowledge that no one will save me but me. LDARing and NEETing are not acceptable courses of action, and only ever brought further shame and heartbreak. I'm fucked up, but I know it, and I still try to see the good in people.

A ton of people are on medication for anxiety and depression, I feel like this further pulls the wool over your eyes. Effective therapy if such a thing exists would target childhood trauma as being the biggest source of adult depression and self hatred. But my problem was that I lived in childhood paradigms into adulthood. I always told myself I'd never grow up, until I did and when I did I hated myself for being a lame kid.

But I'm in a different paradigm now, and the only way to leave an old one is to enter a new one. The future is uncertain. But I only ever wanted the simple things in life really. Getting older is just sad man. I underestimated what it takes to be an exceptional. I dunno if I can make a comeback. At least I'll die trying.

Throughout my life, and this goes back to when I was five years old, before my body got rigged by SOMETHING ELSE, I've been on over 60 medications, ranging from central nervous system stimulants (ADHD), antidepressants, antianxiety, to antipsychotics. Many of the other folks I knew that was like me are either dead, 600 pounds, imprisoned, or immobilized by a life-threatening illness.

Surviving Big Pharma's trials should have granted me billions of dollars. Instead, I'm threatened that if I ever reveal my identity and present my case, I would be sued into oblivion by those monsters for defamation.

 

[soulless_npc]

Throughout my life, and this goes back to when I was five years old, before my body got rigged by SOMETHING ELSE, I've been on over 60 medications, ranging from central nervous system stimulants (ADHD), antidepressants, antianxiety, to antipsychotics. Many of the other folks I knew that was like me are either dead, 600 pounds, imprisoned, or immobilized by a life-threatening illness.

Surviving Big Pharma's trials should have granted me billions of dollars. Instead, I'm threatened that if I ever reveal my identity and present my case, I would be sued into oblivion by those monsters for defamation.

I'm very sorry to hear that. I've been on about a dozen. None of it helped, nor did the psych ward visits, they were really just traumatizing. When you go it feels like you've somehow done something wrong. More and more I'm realizing I'm just fucked up, because life is fucked up. And extended periods of isolation and depression didn't help. I miss the soul that life used to have.

It could very well be I'm depressed now because the meds caused me to have low T. Idk how to combat that besides the obvious path of taking it artificially. And the lack of energy from this med has been something else. I feel also that I should be eligible for some compensation from the pharmaceutical company. But allegedly they starting putting the side effects on the medication in like 2018 after there were enough lawsuits so my case would probably get thrown out.

Not that I was ever WARNED of the side effects by the hospital staff, it was either take the medication or I was guaranteed a longer stay. And then my dad forced me to continue taking it, threatening me that he would put me in a homeless shelter if I didn't. Well now I have a job so I'll be out of here soon enough. But I'm still fucked from this shit. Maybe it eventually leaves the body, but that's a best case scenario.

 

[1966Ford]

Therapy
View attachment 5058822

Bluepilled bullshit

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

I'm very sorry to hear that. I've been on about a dozen. None of it helped, nor did the psych ward visits, they were really just traumatizing. When you go it feels like you've somehow done something wrong. More and more I'm realizing I'm just fucked up, because life is fucked up. And extended periods of isolation and depression didn't help. I miss the soul that life used to have.

It could very well be I'm depressed now because the meds caused me to have low T. Idk how to combat that besides the obvious path of taking it artificially. And the lack of energy from this med has been something else. I feel also that I should be eligible for some compensation from the pharmaceutical company. But allegedly they starting putting the side effects on the medication in like 2018 after there were enough lawsuits so my case would probably get thrown out.

Not that I was ever WARNED of the side effects by the hospital staff, it was either take the medication or I was guaranteed a longer stay. And then my dad forced me to continue taking it, threatening me that he would put me in a homeless shelter if I didn't. Well now I have a job so I'll be out of here soon enough. But I'm still fucked from this shit. Maybe it eventually leaves the body, but that's a best case scenario.

If only a dozen affected the chemistry in your body, you can flush that out and readjust. But you'll need to negotiate with your flesh. What worked for me was extreme workout and strength training. This kept my body busy.

I was in so many nutwards, the staff was usually dumbfounded. Once, a doctor pressed a stethoscope against my chest and made a confused expression as if saying, "How are you still alive?"

Another time, I was in an emergency room dealing with side effects from the deadly antipsychotics, the ER doctor didn't say anything but gestured with his fingers and mouth, as if drinking a small bottle of liquor. A genuine fucking asshole. Because of him, I see all doctors the same.

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

Bluepilled bullshit

Some of that was facts and wise advice. Like the bit about anger. It really does no good.

 

[soulless_npc]

If only a dozen affected the chemistry in your body, you can flush that out and readjust. But you'll need to negotiate with your flesh. What worked for me was extreme workout and strength training. This kept my body busy.

I was in so many nutwards, the staff was usually dumbfounded. Once, a doctor pressed a stethoscope against my chest and made a confused expression as if saying, "How are you still alive?"

Another time, I was in an emergency room dealing with side effects from the deadly antipsychotics, the ER doctor didn't say anything but gestured with his fingers and mouth, as if drinking a small bottle of liquor. A genuine fucking asshole. Because of him, I see all doctors the same.

I started jogging again, it was always what I did when I felt overwhelmed. I'd go out and run 7 miles when I lived alone before and somehow all of the insanity melted away during that timeframe. Warehouse job will be giving me enough strength training, it was ironically enough never a matter of pure strength but of mental endurance while fighting against persecutory thoughts and feelings. It is possible to be strong in the body, but weak in the mind.

I can't say my experiences with psychiatric people have really been any different. It always felt uncaring, and as a person who craves a deep connection rather than a superficial one I saw right through the bullshit. What's therapy for me is just getting my shit together and pushing through old barriers that held me back. I was weak minded when I lived on my own before, that's why I ended up back in this situation. You have to be self sustaining and self regenerating, and know yourself very well.

Bluepilled bullshit

This was what my last therapist gave to me. I agree some of it is cheesy and sounds like empty platitudes that don't apply to real world. But it is true that you have to be on your own side in this shit world. I was always waiting for permission. No one is ever going to give you permission. The fallacy of telling someone to be confident is that it implies they aren't confident to begin with.

 

[1966Ford]

This was what my last therapist gave to me. I agree some of it is cheesy and sounds like empty platitudes that don't apply to real world. But it is true that you have to be on your own side in this shit world. I was always waiting for permission. No one is ever going to give you permission. The fallacy of telling someone to be confident is that it implies they aren't confident to begin with

Yeah my bad right there...

Some of it makes sense but it's just all just half-truth and claiming it as the full truth...

The real truth here is your genes

 

[soulless_npc]

Yeah my bad right there...

Some of it makes sense but it's just all just half-truth and claiming it as the full truth...

The real truth here is your genes

I would argue it's genes and environment in other words what your situation was like growing up

If shit was fucked during your impressionable years you are more than likely going to be diagnosable with a mental health condition later on as an adult, usually as some sort of rebound or hypervigilance

 

[1966Ford]

I would argue it's genes and environment in other words what your situation was like growing up

If shit was fucked during your impressionable years you are more than likely going to be diagnosable with a mental health condition later on as an adult, usually as some sort of rebound or hypervigilance

True tbh

Back in my 3rd grade, a lot of those tall Somali niggas used to molest me

 

[soulless_npc]

True tbh

Back in my 3rd grade, a lot of those tall Somali niggas used to molest me

I was just dunked on a lot for being shorter and smaller, now I have small man syndrome

 

[1966Ford]

I was just dunked on a lot for being shorter and smaller, now I have small man syndrome

Brutal mane...