lost my drugs so I can't descend myself, life is so beautiful

[titlefought]

was at some retarded house party and am opting to walk 2 hours home instead of driving because this is what I think I need rn, I love a long walk. Am laying in the grass and rotting for a minute though because I can't stand up for that long

I lost my cart which is awesome, I just quit for like an extended period of time but had to start again because my body fat is too low as is and I do a lot of crystal meth so my appetite is even more suppressed, lost 15 lbs the first week after quitting. Having an excuse to stop constantly ingesting chinese research chemicals is so fortunate, even if I do start acting a little erratic its ok.

regardless this must be a higher power looking out for me, I love having autism and being so so very schitzoid. Life is actually so beautiful though and I see so many guys on here who are genuinely so depressed it's insane.

I know life is pretty rough for a lot of y'all but lurking on .org all day will only make it worse. The internet will make you mentally ill so don't let it warp your reality too much. Also you can still live life while being chopped, your life doesn't have to start when you ascend. I just want to run like 10 miles but my place isn't even that far.

I'm so grateful for this life and I'm happy I'm still here. I used to try to kill myself all the time I have no fucking idea why, in hindsight it was all some bullshit anyway. now that I'm thinking about it, I must've not really been trying that hard because you think I would get it right after a couple attempts, my memories of my life back then are pretty vague so who knows, I'm pretty retarded so perhaps that was it. Regardless, for many months now I've just felt wonderful, somehow I know I'll feel this way for the rest of my life, or at least the foreseeable future. That may be wishful thinking but I never felt that way when I was depressed or suicidal, I never really thought about the future at all.

I'm praying for all the guys on here even though I don't really believe in god, christian god anyway, just seems like such a human concept to me, can't force myself to believe it idk why. I am christian and I do pray though, but it's just larp, I suppose. Sorry for the probably very incoherent text wall w no punctuation. I love you live, laugh,, love ,or smth

 

[mohito]

Congrats on losing your hollow cheeks very soon

 

[AdMorpheus]

Lost me at I do a lot of crystal meth

 

[titlefought]

Congrats on losing your hollow cheeks very soon

the weed makes me gain weight, I'm abt to look like ann frank after they took her to the camps

 

[titlefought]

Lost me at I do a lot of crystal meth

you gotta methmaxx like me bro trust

I actually did switch over to desoxyn so I wouldn't fuck up my teeth or give myself organ failure or smth though

 

[Nathan Fielder]

I do a lot of crystal meth so

there are literal tweakers on .org. I fucking love it here

 

[titlefought]

there are literal tweakers on .org. I fucking love it here

on everyones soul this is the method bro you guys just aren't tapped in

 

[titlefought]

WE should all be doing crystal meth
WE should all be sharing needles with the homeless to aidsmaxx
WE should all do uppers and downers at the same time

 

[Mo3452]

turn to God he is the higher power

was at some retarded house party and am opting to walk 2 hours home instead of driving because this is what I think I need rn, I love a long walk. Am laying in the grass and rotting for a minute though because I can't stand up for that long

I lost my cart which is awesome, I just quit for like an extended period of time but had to start again because my body fat is too low as is and I do a lot of crystal meth so my appetite is even more suppressed, lost 15 lbs the first week after quitting. Having an excuse to stop constantly ingesting chinese research chemicals is so fortunate, even if I do start acting a little erratic its ok.

regardless this must be a higher power looking out for me, I love having autism and being so so very schitzoid. Life is actually so beautiful though and I see so many guys on here who are genuinely so depressed it's insane.

I know life is pretty rough for a lot of y'all but lurking on .org all day will only make it worse. The internet will make you mentally ill so don't let it warp your reality too much. Also you can still live life while being chopped, your life doesn't have to start when you ascend. I just want to run like 10 miles but my place isn't even that far.

I'm so grateful for this life and I'm happy I'm still here. I used to try to kill myself all the time I have no fucking idea why, in hindsight it was all some bullshit anyway. now that I'm thinking about it, I must've not really been trying that hard because you think I would get it right after a couple attempts, my memories of my life back then are pretty vague so who knows, I'm pretty retarded so perhaps that was it. Regardless, for many months now I've just felt wonderful, somehow I know I'll feel this way for the rest of my life, or at least the foreseeable future. That may be wishful thinking but I never felt that way when I was depressed or suicidal, I never really thought about the future at all.

I'm praying for all the guys on here even though I don't really believe in god, christian god anyway, just seems like such a human concept to me, can't force myself to believe it idk why. I am christian and I do pray though, but it's just larp, I suppose. Sorry for the probably very incoherent text wall w no punctuation. I love you live, laugh,, love ,or smth

 

[titlefought]

turn to God he is the higher power

am christian

 

[Mo3452]

am christian

no but like actually believe theres no point in praying to a God or claiming to be a christian if u dont actually believe

 

[titlefought]

no but like actually believe theres no point in praying to a God or claiming to be a christian if u dont actually believe

Fair enough, I'm trying to have faith but christianity is very different from the way I intuitively see the world so I'm trying to become more knowledgeable on theology and I'm larping as a christian, faking it until I make it.

 

[Mo3452]

Fair enough, I'm trying to have faith but christianity is very different from the way I intuitively see the world so I'm trying to become more knowledgeable on theology and I'm larping as a christian, faking it until I make it.

oh
that must be pretty bad
wanting to be a christian but not having enough faith

 

[ascendtocl122]

i do get those fleeting moments of beauty, then i remember i dont look like sean o'pry and it all comes crashing down in flames

 

[titlefought]

i do get those fleeting moments of beauty, then i remember i dont look like sean o'pry and it all comes crashing down in flames

life is precious bro, the world is a beautiful place

go look at pebbles and watch a colony of ants for 12 hours a day, your boss will understand, maybe take some mushrooms

this will solve all your problems, also join reddit r/guns start making ambiguously threating twitter posts

 

[ascendtocl122]

life is precious bro, the world is a beautiful place

go look at pebbles and watch a colony of ants for 12 hours a day, your boss will understand, maybe take some mushrooms

this will solve all your problems, also join reddit r/guns start making ambiguously threating twitter posts

Trying to connect with nature. Scared of mushrooms tho because I’m super susceptible to psychosis apparently. Will def watch some ants tho