Zeekie
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YESSS, another water cope about charisma. I don't give a fuck, if you're going to comment that, just click off the goddamn thread. Please try to read this through to the end and try to give it a chance, if not just straight up don't comment and move on because all you're getting from me is "jump off a bridge".
Anyway, I made a "charismaxxing" (in retrospect "charismamaxxing" sounds stupid) guide a while back, but I've been meditating on it.
Here it is if you're interested: https://looksmax.org/threads/charis...attraction-and-success.1407430/#post-20407327
I believe that guide has some valid information and if you apply some of the tips you will start to appear as a more charismatic person, but the way it describes charisma is very binary. I've started to develop the idea of multiple types of charisma. First and foremost, charisma will never fix bad looks. If you don't look good, you will have a very hard time being charismatic. Although many people here say it's impossible to be charismatic without looks, or that charisma equals good looks, I don't fully buy into that idea. A huge component of charisma is indeed physical attraction. I believe research suggests it only accounts for 30 percent of charisma. I'm very unsure how they landed on that percentage, but I'm not one to question scientific research.
Anyway, the general scientific formula of charisma is: communicative skills, good looks, low neuroticism (not being depressed, anxious or violent), being highly extroverted, being open (as in being able to explore new things), high conscientiousness (not being a fucking mess), high agreeableness (this doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with everything people say or do, it's more like learning how to handle confrontation and when to shut up for your own good), and low inhibition.
To some degree you can improve all of these areas through many methods, mainly repetition and exposure therapy, but I'm sorry to inform you that your personality type is hugely determined by the environment you grew up in and your genetics. You can lower your inhibition and move toward a more extroverted personality, but there's always a degree where continuing to move forward is impossible. A naturally born introvert will never be as extroverted as an extrovert themselves.
So obviously this creates an issue. Can introverts never be charismatic, or at least never be as charismatic as extroverts? The sad and truthful answer is no, they can't. But there's always something you can do. This is why I've been thinking of the ideal "charismatic archetype" for an extroverted (loud) and an introvert (quiet).
Loud Charisma
To achieve this type of charisma you need very naturally low inhibition and high traits of extraversion. Loud charisma is performative by nature. This type thrives on huge social circles where they can be functioning as group leaders, talking loudly to everyone, cracking jokes and making everyone laugh. You're a performer and that's their huge advantage. They're entertaining, they're energetic, they're easily seen, and therefore have the ability to connect with more people.
Aside from high extraversion, low neuroticism, and so on, the core ability of this type relies on storytelling, humor and crowd control or public speaking. If you're extroverted and looking to take your charisma to the next level, aside from focusing on improving your traits from the basic formula, you need to maximize your abilities to tell stories, to connect with a large public and above all things, be funny. These traits are again often innate to people. Some people are just born with it or were lucky enough to develop them from an early age due to a combination of high IQ and repetition, but even then, you can train yourself to fake these traits.
The loud charismatic is the ideal charismatic type in almost all aspects.
Quiet Charisma
This is the type of charisma you should pursue if you're introverted. As an introvert, very into the sciences of charisma and social behavior, I have spent so many exhausting hours being fake and trying to force extraversion and low inhibition, but it just doesn't fly. That's not who I am and despite my best efforts I simply slip up a few times, the mask cracks, and I can be off-putting because people notice I'm performing. That's fine and it's normal. But I would like to present a new idea. What if introverts completely leave behind the idea of fitting into a mold that just doesn't work for them? Think of being ethnic. No matter how much you try, you can never be white. Despite European being the acceptable standards of beauty, there's only so much you can do to fit into them before you start to seem off. For ethnic people, the solution is to adapt to European standards as much as possible without seeming whitewashed, because European is the most acceptable. So if your goal is maximum appeal, you should try to lean into acceptable as much as you can, but only to the degree where it is normal and not uncanny. No matter how much skin lightening you do or surgeries you get, you can never be white.
We can extrapolate that same idea to introverts versus extroverts. The ideal charismatic introvert never performs, and if they do, it's very situational, targeted and with a lot of previous practice. While the extrovert is attention, influence, and visibility, the fatal flaw of the loud type is that they can appeal to a vast amount of people, but they will struggle to some degree when they need to create depth in that connection. That's precisely the tool that will make an introvert charismatic. You need to thrive on one-on-one interactions. Similarly to the loud type, you need low inhibition for this too, but to a much lesser extent. The skills you need are active listening and the ability to ask deep questions, mirroring, low emotional reactivity and complimenting.
The whole job of the introvert is to feed into people's ego without seeming needy or insecure. That's why you need some degree of apparent self-confidence. Your job is to let the extroverts do the talking. Let people vent with you. That way they will keep coming back just so they can have that validation from you, because you're the guy that always listens. Obviously, this presents some problems you can already assume, but that's up to you to figure out.
Takeaway
I'm trying very hard not to turn this into cope blue-pilled advice. We live in a sad reality, especially in the west, where being visible, confident and entertaining is much more valuable than being deep. But we have to adapt to the game and play the cards we've been given to the best of our ability. Think of it as a video game. If you're starting with a build, why try to branch off into another one you will never fully become? Just take what you have and maximize it to the best of your abilities.
And maximization in the context of charisma is taking the parts of yourself which are undesirable, shallowing them very deep and never letting them show through. You have to put on a costume, you have to put up a mask, you have to fake it. But faking it is hard, so at the very least fake something that's easy for you. If you try to fake something which is very different from what you are, that's just going to make your job a hundred times harder. Remember that charisma is performative, just ideally aligned with who you already are.
Anyway, I made a "charismaxxing" (in retrospect "charismamaxxing" sounds stupid) guide a while back, but I've been meditating on it.
Here it is if you're interested: https://looksmax.org/threads/charis...attraction-and-success.1407430/#post-20407327
I believe that guide has some valid information and if you apply some of the tips you will start to appear as a more charismatic person, but the way it describes charisma is very binary. I've started to develop the idea of multiple types of charisma. First and foremost, charisma will never fix bad looks. If you don't look good, you will have a very hard time being charismatic. Although many people here say it's impossible to be charismatic without looks, or that charisma equals good looks, I don't fully buy into that idea. A huge component of charisma is indeed physical attraction. I believe research suggests it only accounts for 30 percent of charisma. I'm very unsure how they landed on that percentage, but I'm not one to question scientific research.
Anyway, the general scientific formula of charisma is: communicative skills, good looks, low neuroticism (not being depressed, anxious or violent), being highly extroverted, being open (as in being able to explore new things), high conscientiousness (not being a fucking mess), high agreeableness (this doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with everything people say or do, it's more like learning how to handle confrontation and when to shut up for your own good), and low inhibition.
To some degree you can improve all of these areas through many methods, mainly repetition and exposure therapy, but I'm sorry to inform you that your personality type is hugely determined by the environment you grew up in and your genetics. You can lower your inhibition and move toward a more extroverted personality, but there's always a degree where continuing to move forward is impossible. A naturally born introvert will never be as extroverted as an extrovert themselves.
So obviously this creates an issue. Can introverts never be charismatic, or at least never be as charismatic as extroverts? The sad and truthful answer is no, they can't. But there's always something you can do. This is why I've been thinking of the ideal "charismatic archetype" for an extroverted (loud) and an introvert (quiet).
Loud Charisma
To achieve this type of charisma you need very naturally low inhibition and high traits of extraversion. Loud charisma is performative by nature. This type thrives on huge social circles where they can be functioning as group leaders, talking loudly to everyone, cracking jokes and making everyone laugh. You're a performer and that's their huge advantage. They're entertaining, they're energetic, they're easily seen, and therefore have the ability to connect with more people.
Aside from high extraversion, low neuroticism, and so on, the core ability of this type relies on storytelling, humor and crowd control or public speaking. If you're extroverted and looking to take your charisma to the next level, aside from focusing on improving your traits from the basic formula, you need to maximize your abilities to tell stories, to connect with a large public and above all things, be funny. These traits are again often innate to people. Some people are just born with it or were lucky enough to develop them from an early age due to a combination of high IQ and repetition, but even then, you can train yourself to fake these traits.
The loud charismatic is the ideal charismatic type in almost all aspects.
Quiet Charisma
This is the type of charisma you should pursue if you're introverted. As an introvert, very into the sciences of charisma and social behavior, I have spent so many exhausting hours being fake and trying to force extraversion and low inhibition, but it just doesn't fly. That's not who I am and despite my best efforts I simply slip up a few times, the mask cracks, and I can be off-putting because people notice I'm performing. That's fine and it's normal. But I would like to present a new idea. What if introverts completely leave behind the idea of fitting into a mold that just doesn't work for them? Think of being ethnic. No matter how much you try, you can never be white. Despite European being the acceptable standards of beauty, there's only so much you can do to fit into them before you start to seem off. For ethnic people, the solution is to adapt to European standards as much as possible without seeming whitewashed, because European is the most acceptable. So if your goal is maximum appeal, you should try to lean into acceptable as much as you can, but only to the degree where it is normal and not uncanny. No matter how much skin lightening you do or surgeries you get, you can never be white.
We can extrapolate that same idea to introverts versus extroverts. The ideal charismatic introvert never performs, and if they do, it's very situational, targeted and with a lot of previous practice. While the extrovert is attention, influence, and visibility, the fatal flaw of the loud type is that they can appeal to a vast amount of people, but they will struggle to some degree when they need to create depth in that connection. That's precisely the tool that will make an introvert charismatic. You need to thrive on one-on-one interactions. Similarly to the loud type, you need low inhibition for this too, but to a much lesser extent. The skills you need are active listening and the ability to ask deep questions, mirroring, low emotional reactivity and complimenting.
The whole job of the introvert is to feed into people's ego without seeming needy or insecure. That's why you need some degree of apparent self-confidence. Your job is to let the extroverts do the talking. Let people vent with you. That way they will keep coming back just so they can have that validation from you, because you're the guy that always listens. Obviously, this presents some problems you can already assume, but that's up to you to figure out.
Takeaway
I'm trying very hard not to turn this into cope blue-pilled advice. We live in a sad reality, especially in the west, where being visible, confident and entertaining is much more valuable than being deep. But we have to adapt to the game and play the cards we've been given to the best of our ability. Think of it as a video game. If you're starting with a build, why try to branch off into another one you will never fully become? Just take what you have and maximize it to the best of your abilities.
And maximization in the context of charisma is taking the parts of yourself which are undesirable, shallowing them very deep and never letting them show through. You have to put on a costume, you have to put up a mask, you have to fake it. But faking it is hard, so at the very least fake something that's easy for you. If you try to fake something which is very different from what you are, that's just going to make your job a hundred times harder. Remember that charisma is performative, just ideally aligned with who you already are.
Dudes that say charisma is cope really be missing out.
