Bewusst
dead inside
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2019
- Posts
- 17,256
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- 22,380
I need to vent. Can't take this anymore.
If it weren't for retarded hospital staff, I wouldn't even exist today and all the suffering I've had to endure could have been avoided. All because people had to act against nature's will. I was delivered through a C-section (allegedly necessary or else I would've died), a few weeks earlier than usual, severely underweight and hypoxic; they put me in an incubator and according to my mother, I initially refused to breastfeed. They should have just let me die. I wasn't made for this world and I'm reminded of it every day. Now I got to pay for other people's actions even though none of it has ever been my fault.
Every single problem in my life - bad choices leading to health issues, behaving badly at school, isolating myself, being an outcast, worrying my parents, being homeless/houseless, living in shitholes, unhealthy obsessions, unemployment, being broke, not doing things I'm supposed to do, postponing tasks, ldaring, getting neurotoxin poisoning from botox injections etc. - all boils down to the fact that I was born an inferior subhuman and always aware of it both subconsciously and (later) consciously. I would have had NONE of these problems if I looked like an average human being or at least a conventional subhuman. Trying to compensate for my terrible appearance in other ways has caused even bigger problems, so did social withdrawal/ldaring.
It's like a vicious cycle I can't escape. I'm 24 years old, facially deformed, unemployed, broke, my nervous system is impaired and I'm exhausted
Venting is over
If it weren't for retarded hospital staff, I wouldn't even exist today and all the suffering I've had to endure could have been avoided. All because people had to act against nature's will. I was delivered through a C-section (allegedly necessary or else I would've died), a few weeks earlier than usual, severely underweight and hypoxic; they put me in an incubator and according to my mother, I initially refused to breastfeed. They should have just let me die. I wasn't made for this world and I'm reminded of it every day. Now I got to pay for other people's actions even though none of it has ever been my fault.
Every single problem in my life - bad choices leading to health issues, behaving badly at school, isolating myself, being an outcast, worrying my parents, being homeless/houseless, living in shitholes, unhealthy obsessions, unemployment, being broke, not doing things I'm supposed to do, postponing tasks, ldaring, getting neurotoxin poisoning from botox injections etc. - all boils down to the fact that I was born an inferior subhuman and always aware of it both subconsciously and (later) consciously. I would have had NONE of these problems if I looked like an average human being or at least a conventional subhuman. Trying to compensate for my terrible appearance in other ways has caused even bigger problems, so did social withdrawal/ldaring.
It's like a vicious cycle I can't escape. I'm 24 years old, facially deformed, unemployed, broke, my nervous system is impaired and I'm exhausted
Venting is over
