oskify
It’s never enough
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2025
- Posts
- 122
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Ever since I was young, I’ve struggled with lust. Maybe it started because I was exposed to porn at a really young age. I think I was around eight when I first came across it, back in primary school. While none of my friends even knew what sex was, I was already talking about porn and thinking about it constantly.
As I got older, it continued. Porn was never really an addiction for me; it was more of a habit. I would usually watch it once a night before showering, and never more than once a day. But looking back, I realise that even though it might not have been an addiction, it still shaped the way I thought about sex, women and relationships.
It also played a part in the reputation I built for myself at school. When I started high school, I would lie to my friends about hooking up with girls in our year. They were obviously stupid and easily exposed lies, but at the time I wanted to be seen as the stereotypical “cool guy” I had seen portrayed in porn — someone who could get any girl he wanted.
But the main reason I’m making this post is because of something that happened recently, and honestly, it’s probably the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.
My girlfriend of seven months and I broke up about three weeks ago. After the breakup, I was angry, depressed and, more than anything, completely controlled by lust. I ended up making the stupid decision to hook up with one of my best friend’s exes.
That decision completely destroyed my reputation, cost me one of my closest friendships, led to me getting beat up, and changed the way a lot of my friends see me.
I wish more than anything that I could go back and change what I did, but I know I can’t. I have to take responsibility for my actions instead of making excuses for them.
What scares me most is realising how much lust has affected my life and my relationship with God. I feel like my relationship with God has been damaged by the way I’ve allowed lust to control me, and I know that’s something I need to fix.
Even watching porn now genuinely disgusts me. I see it completely differently after everything that has happened. I realise how fake and unrealistic it is, and more importantly, I’ve seen firsthand what lust can lead you to do when you let it control your decisions.
I don’t want lust to keep controlling my decisions or turn me into someone I don’t want to be. I want to genuinely change the way I think, rebuild my relationship with God, take responsibility for what I’ve done, and get my life back on track.
Even though I love being in relationships, I know I’ve got to take a break from them for now, no matter how hard that is. I need to work on myself, fix my problem with lust, and most importantly, repair my relationship with God.
Do not make the mistakes I’ve made. Fix your problem with lust.
As I got older, it continued. Porn was never really an addiction for me; it was more of a habit. I would usually watch it once a night before showering, and never more than once a day. But looking back, I realise that even though it might not have been an addiction, it still shaped the way I thought about sex, women and relationships.
It also played a part in the reputation I built for myself at school. When I started high school, I would lie to my friends about hooking up with girls in our year. They were obviously stupid and easily exposed lies, but at the time I wanted to be seen as the stereotypical “cool guy” I had seen portrayed in porn — someone who could get any girl he wanted.
But the main reason I’m making this post is because of something that happened recently, and honestly, it’s probably the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.
My girlfriend of seven months and I broke up about three weeks ago. After the breakup, I was angry, depressed and, more than anything, completely controlled by lust. I ended up making the stupid decision to hook up with one of my best friend’s exes.
That decision completely destroyed my reputation, cost me one of my closest friendships, led to me getting beat up, and changed the way a lot of my friends see me.
I wish more than anything that I could go back and change what I did, but I know I can’t. I have to take responsibility for my actions instead of making excuses for them.
What scares me most is realising how much lust has affected my life and my relationship with God. I feel like my relationship with God has been damaged by the way I’ve allowed lust to control me, and I know that’s something I need to fix.
Even watching porn now genuinely disgusts me. I see it completely differently after everything that has happened. I realise how fake and unrealistic it is, and more importantly, I’ve seen firsthand what lust can lead you to do when you let it control your decisions.
I don’t want lust to keep controlling my decisions or turn me into someone I don’t want to be. I want to genuinely change the way I think, rebuild my relationship with God, take responsibility for what I’ve done, and get my life back on track.
Even though I love being in relationships, I know I’ve got to take a break from them for now, no matter how hard that is. I need to work on myself, fix my problem with lust, and most importantly, repair my relationship with God.
Do not make the mistakes I’ve made. Fix your problem with lust.
