Maximizing likability and making friends - The Art of Facade

[mewzilla]

DNR bc I did not read ur nd rant

shut up faggot you literally have 0 rep

 

[sccy9]

idc

 

[TiktokUser]

Forgot to ping @TiktokUser

Interesting thread, I agree for the most part.
How do you know me though? You just joined about a week ago.

 

[Prøphet]

No amount of "masking" or "facade" will make a recessed sub5 goblin desirable, ascension comes from mogging people so hard they have no choice but to acknowledge you.

Well how the fuck do you expect to get the means to ascend if you’re a sub5 goblin?

 

[carbonprynt]

Interesting thread, I agree for the most part.
How do you know me though? You just joined about a week ago.

I made a post asking if anyone would be interested for this and you said sure, so i just @ you

 

[jaaba]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

Good thread OP

I have completely different personalities i present to different people in my life; I have always done this tbh, I don’t even have to think about it anymore. This has made it quite hard for me to have a sense of self, but assists in social interactions

 

[therockissigma]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

Hey I read your post on increasing likability. I have a few questions. If I act friendly at work or school and others ignore me, what should I do. If I join a group and I’m not close with them from the start, how do I build a link. At work people talk over me because I look low in confidence. How do I build confidence and grow into a leader like you described. Thanks

 

[carbonprynt]

Hey I read your post on increasing likability. I have a few questions. If I act friendly at work or school and others ignore me, what should I do. If I join a group and I’m not close with them from the start, how do I build a link. At work people talk over me because I look low in confidence. How do I build confidence and grow into a leader like you described. Thanks

If you've already been labeled as the outsider its hard to fit in but still doable. You need to look good thats like the first step. Second is to look more confident, start hitting the gym, chew on something like a stick of gum, style yourself accordingly, dont do or wear anything that gives off negative reactions, etc. Since youre already the outsider you need to get them to ease up to you. You dont need to have full blown conversations, but while walking by you can raise your fist up around chest level and give someone a fistbump, its short but often actions like these that get people closer to you. Once you get the fistbumps going include day to day phrases like "how's your day" nothing too long just say something. When doing this dont stay there waiting for a full-blown convo either, only do that if they start opening up. Otherwise give the fistbump, ask how their day has been while walking, say "alright you have a good one" then go off. In order to convince someone you're confident you need to first appear that way physically then socially.



Just in general walk into the room as if you own it, put all problems that you have away and remember to always always ALWAYS smile while doing these things

 

[therockissigma]

If you've already been labeled as the outsider its hard to fit in but still doable. You need to look good thats like the first step. Second is to look more confident, start hitting the gym, chew on something like a stick of gum, style yourself accordingly, dont do or wear anything that gives off negative reactions, etc. Since youre already the outsider you need to get them to ease up to you. You dont need to have full blown conversations, but while walking by you can raise your fist up around chest level and give someone a fistbump, its short but often actions like these that get people closer to you. Once you get the fistbumps going include day to day phrases like "how's your day" nothing too long just say something. When doing this dont stay there waiting for a full-blown convo either, only do that if they start opening up. Otherwise give the fistbump, ask how their day has been while walking, say "alright you have a good one" then go off. In order to convince someone you're confident you need to first appear that way physically then socially.



Just in general walk into the room as if you own it, put all problems that you have away and remember to always always ALWAYS smile while doing these things

Mhmm, good points, I’ll give u a example I’m at work, some people are my age, but I notice that people don’t rlly mess with me as if they would do with others. I ask how there day is, and start small convos. But it doesn’t hit right as if they talked to other people at the workplace. And before reading this, I used to talk negatively about myself, and telling them about my problems, which now I know that is not what you’re supposed to do. And also how to become a leader. C even in a group. And I want to be a good communicator. My friend and I were just having a convo, and we were talking about how communication can get you a lot , and especially liked. I just wanna be likeable person

 

[carbonprynt]

Mhmm, good points, I’ll give u a example I’m at work, some people are my age, but I notice that people don’t rlly mess with me as if they would do with others. I ask how there day is, and start small convos. But it doesn’t hit right as if they talked to other people at the workplace. And before reading this, I used to talk negatively about myself, and telling them about my problems, which now I know that is not what you’re supposed to do. And also how to become a leader. C even in a group. And I want to be a good communicator. My friend and I were just having a convo, and we were talking about how communication can get you a lot , and especially liked. I just wanna be likeable person

Of course nobody will talk to you unless you are close with them, you have to step by step make them get used to you, then take it on from there. Long convos are really bad especially if they dont know you, it's awkward for everyone, so maybe after a week or two once you build the habit of constantly asking about their day and the fistbumps, they'll think youre a friendly guy. From there you can take my advice from the main post and get closer with the loners then make your way into the main group

 

[therockissigma]

Of course nobody will talk to you unless you are close with them, you have to step by step make them get used to you, then take it on from there. Long convos are really bad especially if they dont know you, it's awkward for everyone, so maybe after a week or two once you build the habit of constantly asking about their day and the fistbumps, they'll think youre a friendly guy. From there you can take my advice from the main post and get closer with the loners then make your way into the main group

Ok. So if someone is disrespectful to you. Say they talk over you, they demand things from you or they even put you down. But ur in a friend group/ workplace. Giving silent treatment wouldn’t be a smart decision. I want to build courage, so whenever someone puts me down, I can talk back. Or at least stand for myself. I haven’t built that yet. Can you give me tips or show how to do it

 

[orangecel2]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

High effort thread bhai. One point I would add tho is that whilst giving validation does work for most ppl and acting like you care, I believe the opposite can be said for those who already receive lots of validation. What I mean is, if ur talking to someone who already gets attention and validation from everyone, it works to not give them as much validation and dose it in small amounts , otherwise ur just like everyone else who glazes them. This has worked at school for me and particularly works with hypergamous foids who think they are the shit, by damaging their ego and not giving them attention , it makes them like u more and seek ur validation more giving that same effect of being the leader if you get me

 

[carbonprynt]

Ok. So if someone is disrespectful to you. Say they talk over you, they demand things from you or they even put you down. But ur in a friend group/ workplace. Giving silent treatment wouldn’t be a smart decision. I want to build courage, so whenever someone puts me down, I can talk back. Or at least stand for myself. I haven’t built that yet. Can you give me tips or show how to do it

Dominance and arrogance have a fine line between each other but its easy to cross one another. When someone tries speaking over you, if you feel malice intent, then continue speaking as if theyre not there, just speak over them without stopping. However if someone is a friend and they want to bring up another point you can always stop and let them speak.

When youre getting pushed around, if you dont stand up for yourself youre gonna remain the group punching bag. Usually if you say something back, the person will clown you and get support from close ones. If you see someone being disrespectful, pull them aside, and have a one on one convo with them. This way theyre no longer being performative for the people around them, it's just you and them. My go to is "look man today's not the day, im not appreciating you being disrespectful toward me." You can wait for a reaction but I usually continue with "i dont want to cause any problems, nor want to have any, so id like it if you stopped the poking around" just be real with them, when youre just with them they have nobody to laugh at you with.

Also straight up bullying and banter are different. If someone is close with you but they occasionally fire some playful insults at you, do not stay silent. Fire back with something similar. Don't allow yourself to get pushed around, but dont insult to the point they get hurt from it. People who bully are lost causes, become friends with their friends and due to the attraction of positive traits rather than negative ones, your personality will come out on top all the time, allowing you to steal their friends.

Go to a mirror and insult yourself, then think of a playful response to it. "Youre chopped asl" "If im chopped idek bout you man" not directly insulting them but redirecting it back to them. "This guy is genuinely braindead" "Ah my bad I tend to not use chatgpt for everything unlike you"

This site helps with the banter responses a lot you can skim over to the end scenarios https://www.succeedsocially.com/banterresponses

 

[carbonprynt]

High effort thread bhai. One point I would add tho is that whilst giving validation does work for most ppl and acting like you care, I believe the opposite can be said for those who already receive lots of validation. What I mean is, if ur talking to someone who already gets attention and validation from everyone, it works to not give them as much validation and dose it in small amounts , otherwise ur just like everyone else who glazes them. This has worked at school for me and particularly works with hypergamous foids who think they are the shit, by damaging their ego and not giving them attention , it makes them like u more and seek ur validation more giving that same effect of being the leader if you get me

First off on .org rep people who aren't shit posting, makes you likable. The reason this works is because you dont need to reply to others, you just need to give them attention. Otherwise you seem like a dick who only cares about himself.

Now in irl, if you employ this method of ignoring people to get their attention, you will lose 99% of the time. Unless your physical appearance is interesting enough, you need to fill in that interest with personality to gain others attention. This thread is for people trying to become likable, not those who already have attention. With this logic, anyone who receives compliments everyday won't give a single fuck about some HTN let alone some LTN loner kid with no friends.

Unless you're already likable, have a good amount of friends, and are good looking, ignoring foids are not the method. However if you have all of these and there is a foid who thinks she's the real deal, all of a sudden your ignorance is reflected on her not you, and she starts to wonder what she's doing wrong that you dont even look her way.

 

[iblamekara]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

those who chat gpt

 

[carbonprynt]

those who chat gpt

Just say DNR, unlike you some people have the attention span to write out something of their own without using AI to think for themselves

 

[iblamekara]

Just say DNR, unlike you some people have the attention span to write out something of their own without using AI to think for themselves

Nigga i'm using chat gpt to write this response right now while i jack off to ai generated porn, Don't think your better than anyone because you can allegedly write a few paragraphs, bare minimum for me to even look at you as human

 

[therockissigma]

Of course nobody will talk to you unless you are close with them, you have to step by step make them get used to you, then take it on from there. Long convos are really bad especially if they dont know you, it's awkward for everyone, so maybe after a week or two once you build the habit of constantly asking about their day and the fistbumps, they'll think youre a friendly guy. From there you can take my advice from the main post and get closer with the loners then make your way into the main gro

Dominance and arrogance have a fine line between each other but its easy to cross one another. When someone tries speaking over you, if you feel malice intent, then continue speaking as if theyre not there, just speak over them without stopping. However if someone is a friend and they want to bring up another point you can always stop and let them speak.

When youre getting pushed around, if you dont stand up for yourself youre gonna remain the group punching bag. Usually if you say something back, the person will clown you and get support from close ones. If you see someone being disrespectful, pull them aside, and have a one on one convo with them. This way theyre no longer being performative for the people around them, it's just you and them. My go to is "look man today's not the day, im not appreciating you being disrespectful toward me." You can wait for a reaction but I usually continue with "i dont want to cause any problems, nor want to have any, so id like it if you stopped the poking around" just be real with them, when youre just with them they have nobody to laugh at you with.

Also straight up bullying and banter are different. If someone is close with you but they occasionally fire some playful insults at you, do not stay silent. Fire back with something similar. Don't allow yourself to get pushed around, but dont insult to the point they get hurt from it. People who bully are lost causes, become friends with their friends and due to the attraction of positive traits rather than negative ones, your personality will come out on top all the time, allowing you to steal their friends.

Go to a mirror and insult yourself, then think of a playful response to it. "Youre chopped asl" "If im chopped idek bout you man" not directly insulting them but redirecting it back to them. "This guy is genuinely braindead" "Ah my bad I tend to not use chatgpt for everything unlike you"

This site helps with the banter responses a lot you can skim over to the end scenarios https://www.succeedsocially.com/banterresponses

I’m at work, and when I started, whenever someone is rude, I’m quiet. I never direct the problem I’m facing. Another manager just came up to me today, and she was like what happened. I helped u get in, this is not the behaviour you showed when u worked with me. I told her that u ur right, in this place people are using me to do their work and I don’t like it. That’s why I show silent treatment. But on my end I should also be like, I can’t just do everything for you guys. Be reasonable. And I found out something by reading the room, who’s more dominant. Who’s the leader, and who’s validation there looking for. Example we have a full timer and I’m working with another part timer. They ft and the pt, are just talking as if they knew each other , and the pt stays close to the ft. Whenever I start a convo, about them, (never about what’s happening in my life), it’s almost like they give basic reponses, and it feels like an interview. What does this mean, and how do I get out of it. Also now im knows as a not good person when working, throughout the whole store even if im friendly enough. Like how can i regain my reputation, other then just being friendly and showing my work ethic? And what do i do when a conversation with one person is just back and forth interview type?

 

[blackmf]

How do black dudes have best body building genetics despite having shit facial development usually

the sun from africa and working in the fields

 

[carbonprynt]

I’m at work, and when I started, whenever someone is rude, I’m quiet. I never direct the problem I’m facing. Another manager just came up to me today, and she was like what happened. I helped u get in, this is not the behaviour you showed when u worked with me.

What behavior is she talking about that you did?

I told her that u ur right, in this place people are using me to do their work and I don’t like it. That’s why I show silent treatment. But on my end I should also be like, I can’t just do everything for you guys. Be reasonable. And I found out something by reading the room, who’s more dominant. Who’s the leader, and who’s validation there looking for. Example we have a full timer and I’m working with another part timer. They ft and the pt, are just talking as if they knew each other , and the pt stays close to the ft.

Static duo you will not be able to break. It is a one on one relationship and each member directly leeches on one another. If you have a group with 3 or more, its now easier because it has higher social flexibility and you dont need a high connection with each person.

Whenever I start a convo, about them

Again, dont start convos. Never convos unless youre close. When a person is with a group you cant just force yourself in, say hi and walk away. If the person is another loner then convos are okay because they have nobody else anyway. Do the fistbump method with the question combo I talked about earlier.

, (never about what’s happening in my life), it’s almost like they give basic reponses, and it feels like an interview.

Thats because they're not interested, they want to go back to talking to each other but you keep interrupting asking random shit they dont care about. You are not at a talking stage yet.

What does this mean, and how do I get out of it.

To get out of the talking stage, make them get used to your presence. Once again fistbumo + asking about their day combo is undefeated. Keep building this for like a week or two until they know youre going to fistbump you automatically when you enter the room. This way youre not interrupting anything, theyre expecting you.

Also now im knows as a not good person when working, throughout the whole store even if im friendly enough. Like how can i regain my reputation, other then just being friendly and showing my work ethic?

Reputations are hard to work with, I never figured it out myself either. But again build newer habits and quit old ones.

Also if youd like dm me a picture of yourself maybe the issue is your looks

 

[therockissigma]

First off on .org rep people who aren't shit posting, makes you likable. The reason this works is because you dont need to reply to others, you just need to give them attention. Otherwise you seem like a dick who only cares about himself.

Now in irl, if you employ this method of ignoring people to get their attention, you will lose 99% of the time. Unless your physical appearance is interesting enough, you need to fill in that interest with personality to gain others attention. This thread is for people trying to become likable, not those who already have attention. With this logic, anyone who receives compliments everyday won't give a single fuck about some HTN let alone some LTN loner kid with no friends.

Unless you're already likable, have a good amount of friends, and are good looking, ignoring foids are not the method. However if you have all of these and there is a foid who thinks she's the real deal, all of a sudden your ignorance is reflected on her not you, and she starts to wonder what she's doing wrong that you dont even look her way.

Another thing I want to

What behavior is she talking about that you did?



Static duo you will not be able to break. It is a one on one relationship and each member directly leeches on one another. If you have a group with 3 or more, its now easier because it has higher social flexibility and you dont need a high connection with each person.



Again, dont start convos. Never convos unless youre close. When a person is with a group you cant just force yourself in, say hi and walk away. If the person is another loner then convos are okay because they have nobody else anyway. Do the fistbump method with the question combo I talked about earlier.



Thats because they're not interested, they want to go back to talking to each other but you keep interrupting asking random shit they dont care about. You are not at a talking stage yet.



To get out of the talking stage, make them get used to your presence. Once again fistbumo + asking about their day combo is undefeated. Keep building this for like a week or two until they know youre going to fistbump you automatically when you enter the room. This way youre not interrupting anything, theyre expecting you.



Reputations are hard to work with, I never figured it out myself either. But again build newer habits and quit old ones.

Also if youd like dm me a picture of yourself maybe the issue is your looks

Ok fist bump method and talking about the day got it. And say if it’s just one on one . Then what? Also how to dm and send ur face first , cuz u can’t trust nobody

 

[therockissigma]

What behavior is she talking about that you did?



Static duo you will not be able to break. It is a one on one relationship and each member directly leeches on one another. If you have a group with 3 or more, its now easier because it has higher social flexibility and you dont need a high connection with each person.



Again, dont start convos. Never convos unless youre close. When a person is with a group you cant just force yourself in, say hi and walk away. If the person is another loner then convos are okay because they have nobody else anyway. Do the fistbump method with the question combo I talked about earlier.



Thats because they're not interested, they want to go back to talking to each other but you keep interrupting asking random shit they dont care about. You are not at a talking stage yet.



To get out of the talking stage, make them get used to your presence. Once again fistbumo + asking about their day combo is undefeated. Keep building this for like a week or two until they know youre going to fistbump you automatically when you enter the room. This way youre not interrupting anything, theyre expecting you.



Reputations are hard to work with, I never figured it out myself either. But again build newer habits and quit old ones.

Also if youd like dm me a picture of yourself maybe the issue is your looks

So the behaviour was before I got this job I used to work with her during a coop stage. I was friendly top tier customer service. Chill with everyone basically by doing what u said. Fist bump, slowly getting to know everyone girls came through, and they were older same fist bump and started small convos. Also in that scenario the leader was my friend so everyone looked up to him. I wanna know how to be a leader yk?

 

[therealdeal877]

Dnr all social interactions are predetermined by your looks, status and achievements

 

[therockissigma]

Another thing I want to

Ok fist bump method and talking about the day got it. And say if it’s just one on one . Then what? Also how to dm and send ur face first , cuz u can’t trust nobody

What do u think about this video

 

[bluebear141]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

Get the fuck out of here you gay ass incel

 

[carbonprynt]

What do u think about this video

You need to be friends for this to work, with people you dont know it can come off as awkward or too much.

 

[why not me?]

Looks like a good thread mirin

 

[therockissigma]

You need to be friends for this to work, with people you dont know it can come off as awkward or too much.

u could look at me. My instas hanspal.ratan

 

[OptimusMaxxer]

Just don't be autistic

 

[therockissigma]

You need to be friends for this to work, with people you dont know it can come off as awkward or too much.

So if someone disrespects me , what’s the course of action in school and at work?

 

[bipolarbird]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

The difficult thing is the authenticity of emotions in certain environments I already do this subconsciously but sometimes i feel as if people see through my fake emotions like laughing at there shitty joke.

 

[lucifer88]

Repost due to formatting hopefully this is better @sideprofilecell @frankramsey @mewzilla

yoooo mr zombie

 

[idnap]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

Bluepill advice in a bp forum

 

[carbonprynt]

Bluepill advice in a bp forum

This is quite literally the opposite you grey, changing who you are to socially manipulate others and conceal your personality. You have negative rep ratio for a reason

 

[karmacita901]

> Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

This is some crisp ass water right here bookmarked

 

[elfmaxx]

This is a great thread

Seems like it would be an effective strategy for almost anyone, not just MTNs

You might not have the looks or the physical presence for leadership potential but you can for sure increase one's position in the social hierarchy with likeability.

Those that are disgusting ugly are fucked no matter what they do though.

 

[elfmaxx]

If you genuinely think this beyond larp, youre most likely being extremely unself aware and not noticing how much of a dork people think you are when you try to pretend to be extroverted when you're not.

Lmao you're coping so hard
It's understandable though
everyone hates to see an effortmaxxer succeed.

 

[pheenon]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt ou

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

Incels discover social skills

 

[therockissigma]

Incels discover social skills

This is quite literally the opposite you grey, changing who you are to socially manipulate others and conceal your personality. You have negative rep ratio for a reason

Carbonprynt, another thing I wanted to ask, is when I mentioned confidence. Like you need to fake a confident person to be one till it’s embedded into you. So what should I do? Like at work, I wanna be a leader and I don’t wanna be a quiet person cuz then you have a stereotype labelled on you. How to be a leader?

 

[pheenon]

Carbonprynt, another thing I wanted to ask, is when I mentioned confidence. Like you need to fake a confident person to be one till it’s embedded into you. So what should I do? Like at work, I wanna be a leader and I don’t wanna be a quiet person cuz then you have a stereotype labelled on you. How to be a leader?

Jfl

 

[pheenon]

Carbonprynt, another thing I wanted to ask, is when I mentioned confidence. Like you need to fake a confident person to be one till it’s embedded into you. So what should I do? Like at work, I wanna be a leader and I don’t wanna be a quiet person cuz then you have a stereotype labelled on you. How to be a leader?

Dude please do not go on .org for Social advice this is genuinely horrible being disingenuous in life isn’t gonna make u an “alpha male” or some shit lol it’s gonna make every social interaction with someone feel schizo and taxing if you wanna become a leader work on those traits u find valuable

 

[therockissigma]

Dude please do not go on .org for Social advice this is genuinely horrible being disingenuous in life isn’t gonna make u an “alpha male” or some shit lol it’s gonna make every social interaction with someone feel schizo and taxing if you wanna become a leader work on those traits u find valuable

Alright only thing I’m asking is simply how can I just appear more confident especially in my voice. Example is like how nobody listens to me at work even though I know what I’m doing. I’m trying to give instructions and they not listening, but in the other hand another explore s everyone listens to him and starts convos

 

[miah]

This is a very good thread.

The part about making people talk about what they like. I find this very difficult.

It almost seems like most people just work, do drugs and go out, or stay home and play video games.

Like I find most people come across as blank. That if I talked about any of those things with them, they would find the conversation boring.

except everyone else considers my personality very blank. How can i know what to talk about with people?

 

[nsk4ll]

This is a very good thread.

The part about making people talk about what they like. I find this very difficult.

It almost seems like most people just work, do drugs and go out, or stay home and play video games.

Like I find most people come across as blank. That if I talked about any of those things with them, they would find the conversation boring.

except everyone else considers my personality very blank. How can i know what to talk about with people?

just talk about random shit and act like u care what they say, its for the sake of status after all isn't it?

 

[miah]

just talk about random shit and act like u care what they say, its for the sake of status after all isn't it?

Like do people actually like that tho? i feel like when i ask people about theyre job and seem interested etc they would find it boring

 

[81xa]

great thread

 

[takethewhitepill]

Good thread, you seem like you will be an alright user. I think you do miss out on the merit behind just being yourself though, maybe some of us are so revolting it doesnt work out but personally I can read people pretty welland choose to not care, id rather have a few close friends and marry a girl that really loves me than have everyone. Though a rough exterior isnt exactly needed for this, so thats the only thing I really changed about myself is being more neutral around new people I don't gel with in groups

 

[academicmaxxer]

So this is just Patrick Bateman maxxing

 

[cargo70]

If you are below a MTN, you are fucked. You can try, but your efforts may be in vain. Read away either way. I have made a summarized version for all my challenged friends. You won’t get much just by reading the summary though. High effort post coming through.

The Art of Facade​

1. The Masking Game

What you might not realize is that nobody truly shows their true face. All the popular guys you may know are masking themselves, because that’s the way they become likable. You are left with the choice of being yourself, being authentic, and living happily ever after in a world of sunshine and rainbows. Or you can shove that personality pill up your ass and become a likable person. You need to realize that there is no going back, you are someone new now. You will not allow your personality to be affected by others around you. You will switch between personalities effortlessly and manipulate those around you. And you will succeed.

2. Why being real doesn’t win

Your personality is affected based on three factors: Nature (genetics), Nurture (environment and experiences), and Choices (decisions you make). As you develop, so does your personality, either for the better or the worse. If you grew up as a social reject, your personality is probably unlikable, and you might seem like a weird kid. Depending on how these factors affected you, you lose most of the time because we're all imperfect. with a bunch of racists (I know you don’t need to imagine), your humor would be much more different than some liberal raised boy who goes out to protest for BLM. If you were to remain true to your acquired personality (experiences not genetics) then you would be incompatible with someone who has opposing view points. Your palate is forever limited, and your options are few. This is why your incel personality doesn’t earn you any friends.

3. Building the blueprint

When you walk into a room, what do you notice? Most people can't observe anything, and this is what makes them submissive and controllable. You’re not most people. You need to start seeing patterns. Who’s the talkative one? Who’s the listener? Who’s the guy who everyone thinks is the listener but doesn’t give a shit about what’s being said? Some people just accept their social position, while others aren’t even aware of it. Start reading the room. When you walk into a room, scan it and take notes of each individual character that is contained within. You need to pay attention to each little detail, and in a world full of lies, knowledge is power. Never reveal your cards in the beginning. Get to know everyone else’s.

(The following is a visual example for our visual learners. If you skip this next paragraph, no essential information will be left behind. I still strongly recommend you read through though.)

For an example, imagine yourself going to a new college for the first time. You’ve been assigned a dorm with people you’ve never met before. Right before you do anything, assess what type of people you live with. Posters on walls, clothing choices, snacks on the floor, it all tells a story of the type of person someone may be. If you notice your roommate spends his free time doing extra assignments for class, congrats you’ve been paired with a nerd. If you notice your roommate decides to hit the gym in his free time, congrats you’ve been paired with a gym bro. Whatever the case may be, don’t brush any of their actions aside. Note it down in your head. Everyone has their own secrets, their own true personalities. Some hide it better than others. Observe that. Find out what type of person they truly are.

4. Silence, observation, and setting up

Silence is the best option if you’re ever unsure of group dynamics. Before you learn to talk to others, learn to shut the hell up. Let others do the talking. Most people can’t stand silence, so they automatically fill it up, giving you information. Watch, collect data, and adapt. This is essentially what quiet kids do. They’re quiet by choice, they choose to observe.

At the same time, notice who everyone orbits around. Watch hand movements and facial gestures. Analyze them. Some tell-tale signs of group dynamics are as such. Group leaders usually walk in front of their friends. They’ll fill in silence, and they’ll initiate events. They’ll stand tall and confident, and they won’t feel the need to give you attention when you say something. Yet somehow everyone is craving their attention. When someone makes a joke, you might not realize it, but subconsciously everyone takes a peek at the leader to see if they found it funny. Everyone is constantly fighting for the approval of one person. Everyone but you. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the dominance of a group leader, there is already tension in that group. Take advantage of their weakness and turn it into submissiveness.

We already acknowledged the first step, which is to observe. Once you figure out group dynamics, find out what people are interested in. It doesn’t matter if you hate fishing for the life of you, try it out, and force yourself to go with that one angler in the group. Maybe you hate sushi, force yourself to eat it with that one friend who’s obsessed with Japanese culture. Your actions are silent, but they make an impact. Start spreading your seeds, making plans with one person at a time. It’s hard to kick out the leader on the spot, but if you become likable in the eyes of everyone, it won’t be as hard. Start finding everyone’s interests, note them, and spend time with them. Adopt their personality. I don’t care whether you’re a liberal or a democrat, because for the time being, you’re both. Don’t force yourself to only become friends with those that have your interests. Get interests from others and make it seem to them that you guys are alike in a way.

What I like to think of as target practice are group outliers. You see the sub5 weird kids that are never invited to group gatherings (maybe that’s you), start calling him off to go somewhere 1 on 1. Again, NEVER FOR YOUR INTERESTS, you are only going for him, not for yourself. Once you do this, you’re dividing up the group into different sections. You have friend groups within friend groups. To the entire friend group you might not seem significant, but to those you spend time with, you’ll notice the status they place you in. You’ll walk in front of them, make jokes catered to their personality, and do activities they enjoy. To them you’re a great friend, and a great friend is a great leader.

Before any of you go off to go on a walk with some guy you’re not close with, and spend an hour in silence with them, you need to know a thing or two about confidence.

5. Illusion of confidence

Confidence isn’t real. It’s just an illusion of rhythm. For all you know, I could have no idea what I’m talking about, but you’re invested. You’re listening to a grey right now. But I sound confident. I have you right where I want, because I’ve injected the type of person I want to be in your brain right now. Any assumptions you’ve made of me have been made from only what I’ve decided to tell you so far. And the hand behind at work is really just confidence.

You fake it till you make it. You’ve heard that before. You fake it until you forget you’re faking it. You’ve probably heard that one less. You could be the most pathetic, loser, weak, submissive kid ever known, but you inject what you want into other people. You can either show up to school in shorts and a tee that has a rock band on it, or you can dress casually without attracting attention. You can dye your hair green, or you can hide your messy hair that day with a beanie. Fake everything. Stand up straight, take up space, and hold eye contact. Not so much that you challenge dominance, but enough that you assert your presence. Slow your speech, lower your tone, and never, and I mean NEVER rush what you’re saying. Don’t be anxious to get others to listen to you, speak knowing that they are listening to you.

People don’t check if you’re confident, they check whether YOU think you are. When you have a group of people around you, stay relaxed, posture up, and drink some water. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t slur your tone, speak confidently and slowly, knowing that you’re in control here and people are here to listen to you. Once you place yourself above everyone in your mind, they shift you accordingly.

6. Charisma at work

Charisma falls under the same rules. You’re not fighting for it. You weren’t born with it. However you use it to leach onto the minds of others. You don’t need to be funny, you have to make others think they’re funny. You don’t need stories to tell, you need to give reactions. You know what helps? Looks. Holy shit I could write an essay on how much looks speeds this shit up. All of it. But you don’t have the looks. You’re a pathetic loser trying to gain validation. But so are they. Everyone is just trying to gain validation from each other. So give it out, and get your charisma. When they start talking, tilt your head. You could have no idea what they’re saying, but just do it, because it makes them feel like you’re listening. When they tell a joke, even if it’s the most horrendous shit you’ve heard of, give a chuckle. Show them they’re interesting.

When you start showing others that you care, they feel special. You’re the only person who makes them feel that way. And to you they come back. To you they seek validation from. You might think that’s manipulative, but that’s because you’ve been taught honesty is a moral requirement instead of a social strategy.

7. Expanding on likeability

Sure, now you have some guy thinking you like him, that you genuinely care. He asks you if you want to hang out later, and you say no because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Blunder. To you this guy is the most interesting person you’ve ever met. It doesn’t matter if you hate to talk to him. The same things apply to him as to everyone else. You remember his name. You remember his hobbies. You remember his habits. At the start you might genuinely despise hanging out with the guy, but as I’ve said before, fake it until you forget that you’re faking it. Keep hanging out with them until it becomes a habit. Until he is no longer a side character. Until you’re now his group leader. Make them believe that you feel important to them, that you care about them. He’ll keep coming back for that validation, and it’s up to you to constantly give that validation. At this point, your personality, your actions, they’re fused with him. You are his emotional companion. At first you might hate it, but later you’ll realize you have access to one more person you can manipulate, one more person under your control. In essence what one might say, you have one more friend. In reality this friendship is really one sided, and you’re just a charismatic manipulator.

8. Emotional camouflage

Everyone deals with emotions differently. People love to say “just be yourself” until “yourself” starts to make them uncomfortable. That’s where your control comes in, pretending to feel nothing, but tweaking exactly how people see you. It depends once again, the Nature, Nurture, and Choices that you use. Everyone falls somewhere between controlled or reactive personalities.

Controlled types are calm by default. They talk in slow motion, relaxed, thinking before they speak. On the other hand, reactive types burn through their words. Every single expression is displayed without a second thought. Of course there’s a spectrum to this. I’ve met people who can literally not be taken out in public. Others have selective mutism. Neither is ideal, but the trick is to identify what exactly you are and to cover your tracks.

If you’re controlled, you are quite literally controlled. People use you because they know you’ll stay silent. However confidence either makes it or breaks it. It’s the difference between being the weird quiet kid or the lone wolf. Apart from the looks, things like your posture, the way you present yourself, as well as your dominance affect this. Straighten up, wear darker clothing that highlights your personality, and don't be afraid to stare others down. You can still stand in the center of the room without staying a word. Don’t sit in the corner to fit the stereotype.

If you’re reactive, direct your energy. Instead of letting your mouth run wild, put a filter on it. Learn to read the room. It is extremely easy to be classified as the annoying kid with this personality. Learn how to balance your words with humor, not senseless corny things which people laugh at to avoid being awkward. You are already given an advantage, you are more sociable, so use it.

In either case, channel your personality. Do not let your determined personality dictate your likability. Socialize with others, but don’t be the one talking. Stand tall but not with ego. Stay quiet but not with shyness. Direct, but make sure to look confident.

If you’d like to, you can think of this as a game of poker. If you are a controller player, win by not revealing anything. If you are reactive, convince others your emotions are honest. Either way, you decide what version of yourself to display to others.

9. Controlling the narrative

At the end of the day, people don’t remember you for who you are. They remember you for how you make them feel. Someone I knew killed themselves last week. The only thing I constantly heard about them was that they had a giant ego. They were remembered by nothing else. So this is the entire game, shaping how others view you.

You don’t necessarily have to lie to be able to manipulate others thoughts, you can simply withhold information. You don’t need to tell them what you do in your free time when you’re home free. Let them fill that in by themselves and they’ll usually fill it in with something better than the truth. The first thing I did was define a character.

Think of yourself like a public figure. Are you mysterious? Charismatic? Confident? Whatever it is, stick with is, and commit to the bit. Practice day and night infront of a mirror. Slightly change your pitch and tone until you master that character. Truly convince yourself this is the new you. You can tell stories to go along with your character. Let others connect the dog. Stay away from your ego in front of others though. Even if you’re joking. I’m being serious man.

Control doesn’t mean to filter what everyone thinks about you. There will inevitably be rumors spreading about you somewhere. However if you look like you don’t care, and deep down you really don’t, there’s not a single thing one can do to get under your skin. If you fumble in front of a group of people, brush it off, act like nothing is wrong. Make them feel awkward for laughing.

Remember that in every interaction you make with someone, there are always two parts to it. What actually happened, and what they think happened. If you can control the latter, the first one stops mattering.

10. Losing yourself

One day, if you get deep down enough, you can lose yourself. You can completely become lost in your different personalities, unable to identify which one is the real you. That’s where people crash, spiral into depression, personality disorder, all of that.

A simple way you can counter this is to build an anchor. Make one singular genuine friend who you can count on. Someone who you can be corny with, talk about anything, without being judged. Someone who you can show your incel side and they wouldn’t care, nor would they tell anyone. Friends like this are hard to come across, so there’s a simpler approach to this.

You can also break your personality into different stones, giving one to each person you know. If you enjoy fishing, have one friend who you regularly go fishing with. If you like anime, find another friend who shares a favorite show with you. If you still play fortnite, find someone who you can relate with in this regard. These are all traits that you may want to hide depending on the personality you’re going for, however when you’re home by yourself, it is important to let your real self shine. Don’t let yourself get lost.

The goal isn’t to erase who you are, it’s to be able to mask that personality with something else, and adapt it based on who you’re with. It’s to be able to control how exactly you’re portraying yourself to others. Don’t chase validation, arrange it in a way that people seek it from you. Become a leader. Choose your destiny, don't let anything be predetermined.

Summary/key-points

Everyone wears a mask, being likable is controlling your mask instead of letting others decide it for you.
“Being yourself” doesn’t always work because your personality is shaped with your development, so sometimes people are just socially incompatible.
The key is to build a version of yourself that you can adapt to any environment.
You must learn to read rooms and people before acting.
Confidence and charisma aren’t something natural, everything is performative.
The point isn’t to lie, it’s to control the truth, a game of knowledge.
Mastering your emotions will keep what benefits you and hiding everything else.
To stay likeable, give others validation. This is about others not about you.
Balance yourself out, don’t forget who's under the mask. Take the mask off when you get home.

End points

Don’t read this post as if I’m some sort of philosopher. This is what worked for me. Most of this is scientifically backed up, however there are some parts in here that are exaggerated to fit into the narrative, however will still end up working. The trick is to just figure out something that works out for you. Carbonprynt out.

Reading this later.

 

[darodcel]

they wouldn't be social rejects in the first place if they were good looking. A lifetime of being treated as invisible creates the autistic personality you're trying to fix . You can't separate the tera subhuman behavior from the face that caused it. Good looking kids get positive social reinforcement from birth so they develop confidence and social skills naturally. These forum niggers got negative reinforcement so they developed a "bad" personality

People intentionally change bad aspects of their personality in spite of negative experiences or trauma all the time. And in the context of confidence despite being bullied or socially ostracized it's no different.

If one tells themselves "I'll always be a socially awkward bumbling idiot with zero social intelligence because of my past" they're reinforcing it and creating a self fulfilling prophecy. But if you gain greater mastery of the mind then it's entirely possible.

But I guess it all depends on whether you think people can change in general, which is a greater philosophical debate.