Gargantuan
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Recently, I had a very simple interaction that made something click for me and has shifted my perspective on how certain types of behaviours influence opportunities and attraction.
Keep in mind that this has NOTHING to do with looks, yet is still absolutely crucial and massively overlooked.
I went to a yoga lesson recently (and yes, I’m into that kind of stuff
), the lesson had ended, everyone else had already left, and I ended up talking to the female instructor outside as we were the only ones left there.
We were both there standing with our bikes, talking for a while.
And this is an attractive woman with good vibes whom I enjoy talking to. I'm not saying she is attracted to me or that anything would have happened.
In fact, that's completely beside the point here and irrelevant for this thread.
At some point, she asked me a simple logistical question:
“What direction are you going?”
And guess what happened? My autistic, unconscious ass immediately started explaining my normal route home, that there had been some roadworks, so I told her how I was going to take a detour and eventually get back onto my usual route
And just like that, we went our separate ways...
Only a few moments later did it hit me:
Why the FUCK did I do that?
She told me she was heading toward the city centre. I could have simply gone in her direction for a while and continued talking to her (she pretty much handed the opportunity to me on a silver platter...), and more importantly, I WANTED to.
Yet it didn't even occur to me until after I'd already acted...
I wasn’t looking for a way out; no, I literally wanted to spend more time with her, irrespective of how it would go.
Therefore, the most comical part was that there was literally no conscious decision where I thought: “I'd rather go home than spend x time with her”
Instead, the question entered my mind, and an existing (pre-)programmed answer followed this chain:
Where are you going? → Retrieve normal route → Explain route → Follow route
My actual conscious WILL never entered the equation.
And this goes much deeper than this particular interaction, and you can observe and apply this principle everywhere.
A lot of you guys here in these spaces are completely obsessed with identifying the external variables supposedly preventing you from getting what you want:
“I’m not tall enough”
“I’m too ugly”
“My eye area isn’t up to par”
“My jaw is too weak”
“My frame is too narrow”
And I'm not going to pretend that looks don't matter. Obviously they do, everyone knows this, and I’d be the last person to deny that.
However, you can ascend physically all you want, but mechanical behaviour can still make you completely incapable of capitalising on the opportunities that ascension gives you.
You can finally get your surgeries, softmaxxes, roids, or whatever else you believed would change everything, have an actual opportunity standing directly in front of you, and then unconsciously execute the same behavioural programs you've been running for years because even though the external hardware changed, the same unconscious (software) programs are still running the show.
After all, you never bothered changing them.
This is something looksmaxxing/physical ascension alone CANNOT fix for you.
You have to do the necessary inner work to bring about changes here too.
Needless to say, it doesn't only apply to women. Other examples would include:
Stimulus → program → reaction
And why is this bad? Because YOU are never in charge anywhere in this process.
The infamous mystic George Gurdjieff also described this paradigm:
I’ve written extensively before about neurotypical vs neurodivergent behavioural styles (you can read my thread on it if you haven't already), but I’m starting to think there’s an even deeper layer underneath that distinction: how conscious or mechanical/unconscious you are in the first place.
Because regardless of whether you’re NT/ND (which still matters a lot), if you’re merely reacting through pre-programmed patterns instead of actually responding to what is happening in front of you, you can never be truly present.
The “charismatic” person you know isn't necessarily that way because he knows what to say, has the perfect scripts, etc.
He's actually THERE, being PRESENT
He is actually responding to the person and situation standing in front of him instead of interacting with them through a library of pre-programmed responses.
And this is where being intelligent can actually fuck you over big time.
You can become so obsessed with modelling reality that you stop participating in it (I’ve been there, trust me...):
Instead, just ask yourself: What do I actually WANT to do right now?
In my example, the answer was obvious since deep down, I wanted to keep talking to her.
I didn't need evidence that she “wanted” me.
I didn't need to know whether anything romantic would happen since I didn't need to predict an outcome (life also gets exponentially easier when you stop attaching yourself to outcomes, btw).
I could simply act in congruency with what I wanted and let reality tell me what happened next.
Which brings me to another point I have intuited: You often have to act BEFORE you have enough information to know what the outcome will be.
That's what it actually means to have opportunities in life at the most fundamental level.
If you wait until reality guarantees you the result, the opportunity usually doesn't exist anymore.
Does that mean acting like a monkey and blindly acting on every impulse? No, that's just another, inverted form of unconscious behaviour.
The point is: stimulus → awareness → choice → action
In other words, it means creating a tiny gap between stimulus and reaction.
Something happens and instead of immediately executing the first program that appears, become conscious for one fucking second and ask yourself in that moment:
And I’m no master at this (yet). The entire reason I'm writing this thread is that I caught myself failing to do it in an almost comically obvious situation. However, that's also why the experience was useful.
I didn't learn this from thinking about attraction in my room, because you CANNOT.
Reality showed it to me because there is no better teacher than reality.
And once you've actually caught yourself being mechanical like this, you start seeing it everywhere.
Maybe some of you don't need a couple of extra millimetres of bone, another steroid cycle, more DIY procedures, lifts, peptides, whatever it may be.
Perhaps, more than anything, you need to actually be present when life finally allows you to use what you already have.
Know thyself.
Know what you want.
Then act.
Stop being a machine in a world of machines: be different, be conscious
@NumbThePain @Whatever @Yliaster @Magnus @Big Boss
Keep in mind that this has NOTHING to do with looks, yet is still absolutely crucial and massively overlooked.
I went to a yoga lesson recently (and yes, I’m into that kind of stuff
), the lesson had ended, everyone else had already left, and I ended up talking to the female instructor outside as we were the only ones left there.We were both there standing with our bikes, talking for a while.
And this is an attractive woman with good vibes whom I enjoy talking to. I'm not saying she is attracted to me or that anything would have happened.
In fact, that's completely beside the point here and irrelevant for this thread.
At some point, she asked me a simple logistical question:
“What direction are you going?”
And guess what happened? My autistic, unconscious ass immediately started explaining my normal route home, that there had been some roadworks, so I told her how I was going to take a detour and eventually get back onto my usual route
And just like that, we went our separate ways...
Only a few moments later did it hit me:
Why the FUCK did I do that?
She told me she was heading toward the city centre. I could have simply gone in her direction for a while and continued talking to her (she pretty much handed the opportunity to me on a silver platter...), and more importantly, I WANTED to.
Yet it didn't even occur to me until after I'd already acted...
I wasn’t looking for a way out; no, I literally wanted to spend more time with her, irrespective of how it would go.
Therefore, the most comical part was that there was literally no conscious decision where I thought: “I'd rather go home than spend x time with her”
Instead, the question entered my mind, and an existing (pre-)programmed answer followed this chain:
Where are you going? → Retrieve normal route → Explain route → Follow route
My actual conscious WILL never entered the equation.
And this goes much deeper than this particular interaction, and you can observe and apply this principle everywhere.
A lot of you guys here in these spaces are completely obsessed with identifying the external variables supposedly preventing you from getting what you want:
“I’m not tall enough”
“I’m too ugly”
“My eye area isn’t up to par”
“My jaw is too weak”
“My frame is too narrow”
And I'm not going to pretend that looks don't matter. Obviously they do, everyone knows this, and I’d be the last person to deny that.
However, you can ascend physically all you want, but mechanical behaviour can still make you completely incapable of capitalising on the opportunities that ascension gives you.
You can finally get your surgeries, softmaxxes, roids, or whatever else you believed would change everything, have an actual opportunity standing directly in front of you, and then unconsciously execute the same behavioural programs you've been running for years because even though the external hardware changed, the same unconscious (software) programs are still running the show.
After all, you never bothered changing them.
This is something looksmaxxing/physical ascension alone CANNOT fix for you.
You have to do the necessary inner work to bring about changes here too.
Needless to say, it doesn't only apply to women. Other examples would include:
- Someone invites you to some place, and you automatically say no
- Someone talks to you, and you give the same socially conditioned "safe" response you've given a thousand times before
- Someone says/does something unexpected to you, and you immediately become defensive
- You feel an impulse to do something but don’t act and instantly suppress it
- You want to say something but remain quiet because you're worried about how you'll be perceived
Stimulus → program → reaction
And why is this bad? Because YOU are never in charge anywhere in this process.
The infamous mystic George Gurdjieff also described this paradigm:
I’ve written extensively before about neurotypical vs neurodivergent behavioural styles (you can read my thread on it if you haven't already), but I’m starting to think there’s an even deeper layer underneath that distinction: how conscious or mechanical/unconscious you are in the first place.
Because regardless of whether you’re NT/ND (which still matters a lot), if you’re merely reacting through pre-programmed patterns instead of actually responding to what is happening in front of you, you can never be truly present.
The “charismatic” person you know isn't necessarily that way because he knows what to say, has the perfect scripts, etc.
He's actually THERE, being PRESENT
He is actually responding to the person and situation standing in front of him instead of interacting with them through a library of pre-programmed responses.
And this is where being intelligent can actually fuck you over big time.
You can become so obsessed with modelling reality that you stop participating in it (I’ve been there, trust me...):
- “Was that an IOI?”
- “What should I say?”
- “What does this mean?”
- “What is the optimal move?”
Instead, just ask yourself: What do I actually WANT to do right now?
In my example, the answer was obvious since deep down, I wanted to keep talking to her.
I didn't need evidence that she “wanted” me.
I didn't need to know whether anything romantic would happen since I didn't need to predict an outcome (life also gets exponentially easier when you stop attaching yourself to outcomes, btw).
I could simply act in congruency with what I wanted and let reality tell me what happened next.
Which brings me to another point I have intuited: You often have to act BEFORE you have enough information to know what the outcome will be.
That's what it actually means to have opportunities in life at the most fundamental level.
If you wait until reality guarantees you the result, the opportunity usually doesn't exist anymore.
Does that mean acting like a monkey and blindly acting on every impulse? No, that's just another, inverted form of unconscious behaviour.
The point is: stimulus → awareness → choice → action
In other words, it means creating a tiny gap between stimulus and reaction.
Something happens and instead of immediately executing the first program that appears, become conscious for one fucking second and ask yourself in that moment:
- “What is actually happening?”
- “What do I actually want?”
And I’m no master at this (yet). The entire reason I'm writing this thread is that I caught myself failing to do it in an almost comically obvious situation. However, that's also why the experience was useful.
I didn't learn this from thinking about attraction in my room, because you CANNOT.
Reality showed it to me because there is no better teacher than reality.
And once you've actually caught yourself being mechanical like this, you start seeing it everywhere.
Maybe some of you don't need a couple of extra millimetres of bone, another steroid cycle, more DIY procedures, lifts, peptides, whatever it may be.
Perhaps, more than anything, you need to actually be present when life finally allows you to use what you already have.
Know thyself.
Know what you want.
Then act.
Stop being a machine in a world of machines: be different, be conscious
@NumbThePain @Whatever @Yliaster @Magnus @Big Boss
