
Orc
diagnosed autist
Staff
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2022
- Posts
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I just opened a dating app for the first time in years, and I've seen things that would kill a victorian child on sight
these men are decaying, like looking into the aftermath of an ancient curse
they look like they were drafted into a war that only they remember and spend ten years in the trenches
their hairlines are fading faster than my hope
one man had a beard so patchy I thought my screen was glitching
another had the kind of smile that made me think he harvests organs on weekends
and they all have this ghostly, post divorce aura like they’ve been sued for custody by a dog
I've seen corpses with more collagen
they’ve got nasolabial folds so deep you could hide state secrets in them
one guy looked like he's been sleeping on gravel since 2014
I swear to god, if i see one more leathery man gripping a fish in his profile pic I'm going to launch myself into the sea
this isn’t a dating pool, it’s a post-apocalyptic wasteland where everyone’s still somehow ''into hiking''
I've seen 32-year-old men who look like they’ve been personally excavated from a collapsed mine
the only thing they’re peaking is their cholesterol
browsing through these profiles feels like flipping through crime scene photos, everyone looks like a before picture for a war they never recovered from, sallow skin, haunted eyes, sun damage so aggressive the app should hand out SPF 100 at login
it's like flipping through an old sears catalog but everyone's sad and probably has a DUI
you ever see someone's profile and get hit with an existential crisis so hard your soul briefly leaves your body?
like it just quietly gets up and walks away
because it knows you’re not finding salvation here
these men are decaying, like looking into the aftermath of an ancient curse
they look like they were drafted into a war that only they remember and spend ten years in the trenches
their hairlines are fading faster than my hope
one man had a beard so patchy I thought my screen was glitching
another had the kind of smile that made me think he harvests organs on weekends
and they all have this ghostly, post divorce aura like they’ve been sued for custody by a dog
I've seen corpses with more collagen
they’ve got nasolabial folds so deep you could hide state secrets in them
one guy looked like he's been sleeping on gravel since 2014
I swear to god, if i see one more leathery man gripping a fish in his profile pic I'm going to launch myself into the sea
this isn’t a dating pool, it’s a post-apocalyptic wasteland where everyone’s still somehow ''into hiking''
I've seen 32-year-old men who look like they’ve been personally excavated from a collapsed mine
the only thing they’re peaking is their cholesterol
browsing through these profiles feels like flipping through crime scene photos, everyone looks like a before picture for a war they never recovered from, sallow skin, haunted eyes, sun damage so aggressive the app should hand out SPF 100 at login
it's like flipping through an old sears catalog but everyone's sad and probably has a DUI
you ever see someone's profile and get hit with an existential crisis so hard your soul briefly leaves your body?
like it just quietly gets up and walks away
because it knows you’re not finding salvation here