Men have friends for two reasons

[incel194012940]

In my observations I think there are two reasons men are friends with each other in today’s world.

It’s either because they use/help each other in some mutual way like in business or workplace. Men can relate when they have a good mate as a work colleague but when one of them gets a new job the friendship often ends.

Or it’s a in denial closet homosexual/boredom relationship which is used to make up for lack of meaningful and close relationships with women which is based on high estrogen/testosterone. This is why when a man gets into a romantic relationship with a women, he often ditches his mates “bros before hoes”

These are two extremes I’ve noticed and think that men don’t need friends nor talk much because it’s a distraction from the inner life which is important for men. Moving in the direction of having a family or becoming a hermit is going in the right direction.

 

[incel194012940]

I have one or two people that I associate with semi-regularly, but it's been a few months since I've contacted them as well. Life gets in the way. I've also noticed that it's usually people contact me only when they need me, and if not that, I always have to be the first one to initiate contact after a long time.

I think these days intrapersonal relationships have very much become a cost:benefit type thing as you say, if you can't utilise someone for some gain most people don't bother making time for them. It also gets worse as you get older, I found it harder to maintain these types of friendships throughout and now they have almost all faded.

 

[Lefty Rankin]

I think you got some things wrong. A dude ditching his friends initially in a relationship is normal. It's cause of infatuation with finding something new and wonderful. It simply takes up most of your time in the beginning. If a dude is still ditching his friends after the honeymoon phase though it's because the bitch doesn't like you and he's become subjective to her.

As for jobs, I don't think I've ever seen men ditching their buddies because they've found a new job. Unless you're only talking about work acquaintances, which I wouldn't consider friends.

Women aren't good friends. The only relationships with women that are of any value that I can see as a man are strictly romantic. I could never see seeking out a friendship with another man because of a lack of any relationships with women. Women suck and are boring as hell in any capacity.

 

[Deleted member 21345]

So men just aren't meant to have friendship?

How are you going to have a rich inner life if you don't have someone of comparable intellect to bounce ideas off? Iron sharpens iron

A romantic relationship isn't supposed to fill 100% of your social needs. A big part of said needs are people similar to you, that you respect but different in enough ways that you can help each other grow as individuals. That's friendship

 

[OhSeeDeeCel]

I think you got some things wrong. A dude ditching his friends initially in a relationship is normal. It's cause of infatuation with finding something new and wonderful. It simply takes up most of your time in the beginning. If a dude is still ditching his friends after the honeymoon phase though it's because the bitch doesn't like you and he's become subjective to her.

As for jobs, I don't think I've ever seen men ditching their buddies because they've found a new job. Unless you're only talking about work acquaintances, which I wouldn't consider friends.

Women aren't good friends. The only relationships with women that are of any value that I can see as a man are strictly romantic. I could never see seeking out a friendship with another man because of a lack of any relationships with women. Women suck and are boring as hell in any capacity.

 

[incel194012940]

So men just aren't meant to have friendship?

How are you going to have a rich inner life if you don't have someone of comparable intellect to bounce ideas off? Iron sharpens iron

A romantic relationship isn't supposed to fill 100% of your social needs. A big part of said needs are people similar to you, that you respect but different in enough ways that you can help each other grow as individuals. That's friendship

wtf does grow as an individual mean? i always assume its an imaginary thing people invent as a counterpoint for aging

my collagen decreased by 20% (physical, tangible)

but my growth as an individual (???) increased so much (no metric of measurement)

 

[Deleted member 21345]

wtf does grow as an individual mean? i always assume its an imaginary thing people invent as a counterpoint for aging

my collagen decreased by 20% (physical, tangible)

but my growth as an individual (???) increased so much (no metric of measurement)

Well you talk about an inner life which isn't entirely tangible. Did that inner life go anywhere?

But yes. Money, career achievements, looksmaxxing and so on are concrete, but they have to come from somewhere internal.

Not everyone can be Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and find inspiration in pure isolated torment. Most of the time you'll need at least a few peers you respect to help you. That can't always be measured by numbers but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Sorites paradox and all.

Even as two complete strangers who wouldn't care if the other dropped dead. At least this maybe made you reconsider what you thought before. High IQ as anyone is, you always need a fresh set of eyes. If you can imagine that coming from someone you trust and respect. That's a valuable friendship

 

[T_T]

One of the only 'friends' I had stopped talking to me when he got a shitty online girlfriend and I insulted her. Only used to roll with each other because we both browsed the forum

 

[incel194012940]

Well you talk about an inner life which isn't entirely tangible. Did that inner life go anywhere?

Not everyone can be Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and find inspiration in pure isolated torment. Most of the time you'll need at least a few peers you respect to help you. That can't always be measured by numbers but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Sorites paradox and all.

i have euphoric episodes that look like epileptic seizures every day up to hours which makes me top % mentally

when im fat these instantly stop by looking in the mirror. This and being broke/low status are the only two things that ever make me unhappy in ways that I can't destroy with diet.

But yes. Money, career achievements, looksmaxxing and so on are concrete, but they have to come from somewhere internal.

that's the philosophy of idealism, if some kid throw a rock it'll say "i'm flying because god rewarded me for my virtues". You could just as easily make the opposite assumption of materialism. The difference is the causation is able to be tested.

Even as two complete strangers who wouldn't care if the other dropped dead. At least this maybe made you reconsider what you thought before. High IQ as anyone is, you always need a fresh set of eyes. If you can imagine that coming from someone you trust and respect. That's a valuable friendship

i can go on youtube and listen to the opinions from any of the below without the costs or risk of that. I see this is what you value from friends and I appreciate your input in that, but you can acknowledge that what you want out of social relationships depends on your personality, many men have hobbies of something like fighting or wood working and just use friends to work together on that, but would never in 100000 years share their private thoughts. Being more feminine probably is connected with being more language-dominant, some of these men are legit no mental monologue types and you can tell.

 

[Deleted member 21345]

i have euphoric episodes that look like epileptic seizures every day up to hours which makes me top % mentally

when im fat these instantly stop by looking in the mirror. This and being broke/low status are the only two things that ever make me unhappy in ways that I can't destroy with diet.

that's the philosophy of idealism, if some kid throw a rock it'll say "i'm flying because god rewarded me for my virtues". You could just as easily make the opposite assumption of materialism. The difference is the causation is able to be tested.


i can go on youtube and listen to different opinions from any of my e-friends down below without that
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So basically you get your needs met with parasocial relationships with E celebs? I mean if that scratches the itch sure. But that's the idea behind friendship as a concept. The youtubers are a simulacrum like porn

Really the main thing is how hard quality people are to find. It's easy to stroke one's ego but high iq non normie people aren't easy to come by

 

[incel194012940]

So basically you get your needs met with parasocial relationships with E celebs? I mean if that scratches the itch sure. But that's the idea behind friendship as a concept. The youtubers are a simulacrum like porn

ray peat diet cures loneliness, if i want new thoughts on something I can see what people on youtube say on the subject which i prefer talking because it's more efficient, i can multitask, i can get perspectives of winners with top % charisma and delivery.

i see friendship the same way i see looks, like an object i can acquire

Really the main thing is how hard quality people are to find. It's easy to stroke one's ego but high iq non normie people aren't easy to come by

thats the main reason i don't currently socialize, tbh if someone is willing to talk to me i'm pretty sure i don't want to be in the 50-foot radius of them.

 

[Skywalker]

Women suck and are boring as hell in any capacity.

exactly my pb - i guess some men enjoy their company, but i genuinely never did lol