tallandhandsome125
Progress, not Perfection.
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2020
- Posts
- 73
- Reputation
- 276
First off, I want to give credit to start this journey to this forum: https://looksmax.org/threads/treat-success-like-a-video-game.262187/
OP, you have changed the way I view my life, as a series of decisions that ultimately compound over time to build a new reality. Yes, the randomness element is brutal, no-one chooses to be born ugly or poor, but ultimately, it's our destiny to overcome them to become the best version of yourself. There is more honor in breaking down the obstacle to cross that bridge rather than having everything handed down to you. If you have a cheatcode, the game will no longer be fun to play.
"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." - Marcus Aurelius
What this means is that every obstacle you face is the way to advance your next action. We must learn to embrace challenges and conquer them with joy. Small steps, repeated over time will climb any mountain and conquer any undertaking.
To continue this topic, let's talk about the true healthy habits and mindset changes that build up over time. Note: Please remove your ego while reading this. This is not to make ANYONE feel bad about themselves, but to educate, to help and to collaborate to have a society of the 1%. A team that cooperates will always outperform compared to the outcasts who compete.
Personally, in my life, the one thing that changed my reality the most was money. Growing up in an incredibly poor environment fueled my drive to escape the financial burdens and mental agony that comes with daily expenses. Even small things like gas to travel, clothes to look good, or eating lean and healthy were quite difficult to budget in and I had to be conscious of how I was spending my money. From that environment to running my own business now to where I make over 30k a month, and no longer have to care about daily expenses, but plan wisely to invest in myself. The mental freedom that comes from not "having to care SO MUCH" is quite huge. Even though I am not a "millionaire" yet, I at least can enjoy a little bit of stability and have the luxury to think about improving yourself rather than"surviving the daily struggle that is life".
How did I do this? Know what you are good at. If you invest your time and you are good something, you will never be poor. There will always be people who need you for your own series of talents and skillsets. Invest in yourself, invest in your skills and people will come searching for you. Starting a business is really just selling your skillset. I made this change over three years ago, and it has given me an energy to wake up in the morning, to start with gratitude and treat life as a series of smart decisions.
The second thing that changed my life was not chasing girls, but having THEM chase YOU. A lot of people on this forum are quite young and struggle to find a date/get laid/have the validation from women. You shouldn't repress this "urge". It is natural, it is genetic, it is good. However, many of you (as have I when I was young) chase. Realize that this is wrong. You should NEVER chase. You must realize that you must become the 1% of men to get 90% of women. I remember when I was 18 and went into a nightclub, the pathetic feeling of trying to get a girls validation was eye-opening enough for me to realize that the problem wasn't with my approach, but with me. Body language, especially the eyes never lies. Now, after almost 6-7 years later, I can tell you that the club is my territory. All the girls approach ME. You may never know this feeling in your life until you get here, but there is an immense power when every person you see tries to make eye-contact with you. Again, the eyes never lie. Every night I party, I have girls push themselves/literally fight to get to me (I even had brothers pushing their own sisters onto me). Some girls leave their boyfriends on the dance floor to walk up to me. Even in the washroom, I have guys asking if they can PAY ME to have them suck my **** (WTF)!. I have signed girls chests with my phone number and Instagram with their boyfriends on the floor. I have had my photos taken in a club where it went viral and had several of the staff post on their Facebook with their cellphone numbers written down for me to contact them because they didn't know who I was. Every time I go to the club with my friends, they leave after an hour because they cannot handle the amount of attention I get from both guys and girls, it kills their confidence no matter how confident they may be. All I have to do, is just stand there. That's it. If you think I am lying due to your own reality of your cognitive dissonance at this point, then feel free to downvote me. I don't think I am "better than you" or anyone else. My goal here is to educate you into healthy habits to grow mentally, spiritually, physically. The reality is, there is no "game" in the club, there is no problem with your approach, or your "confidence" or how you squint or anything. It is just the way you look. The truth hurts, but if you want to grow, you should acknowledge the root-cause rather than put a band-aid on your ego.
The point is, become the desirable man that is chased, rather than the desperate creepy guy that chases.
How do I do this? I was lucky to be born the way I am, and even though I was never particularly good-looking as a kid, I grew into my looks to a point now where daily, people ask me whether I am an actor or a model. In the past year, I have gone viral on social media platforms with over 500k views from fan-groups using my photos and each photo I post on my Instagram gets on average 7000 likes with over 500 comments. None of it is fake. The desire to "get laid" however has significantly gone down and in the club, I enjoy the attention more than actually bringing the girl home. Many times where I did bring girls home, there is a lot of baggage, territorial boundaries/ownership flags from the girl, and a lot of self-loathing that comes from having degraded yourself merely for the sake of validation. Eventually, you need to find a support system that carries you through not your best self, but your worst self. A girl who helps you grow into a better version rather than consuming the image of your best self. I am lucky to find a girl that accepts my reality, understands my need for space, but also supports the worst and best sides of me. When you find a girl like this, she is a keeper. It's not about "sex". It's about growth.
Now physically, how did I get there from 0 to hero. This forum is meant to be "looksmax". It is meant to help us grow physically, but somehow after lurking on this forum after a few years, I noticed that there is a lot of bullsh*t and the original message and goal has been distorted to making others feel bad about themselves, weak mindsets/excuses of why they are not where they should be, or just burying into a hole of self-loathing. This needs to change, and I want to make the first step towards it.
So what did I learn from my experiences?
When you aren't there, don't "fake it". Fix it.
Surgery is an option for those who lack certain physical features. It's not a magic pill, and sometimes it can definitely destroy you if you aren't careful with how you select your surgeries. I know some people who have had double jaw surgery who have significantly improved their looks, and others who came out looking like a monkey. Those who fall into the latter condition are severely depressed and slave away at their jobs, but I still commend them for having the balls to take a chance and play their cards. You have to be very smart about surgery because sometimes the consequences are irreversible. It is still a risk.
Books are so important not because of "having read" but the ideas and mental clarity that come from it. Posts like the one I suggested above contain far more value in changing your perspective than reading a book about the Agrarian Myth in America of the symbol of the "yeoman". Information must be relevant and usable, and if your point is to brag about how much you read, then you missed the point. It is not about validation of the ego, but the results of your reality.
Time management is key. How you choose to use your time. I use to play so much video games when I wanted an escape, but it is so wrong. Not only is it a waste of your time, but it is shameful to show off anything you achieved in the game. Imagine if you play World of Warcraft and you want to show off your outfit vs working your *** off and having some skills or even material goods. Treat your life as a video game character, and learn the skills to become the best human being, not a virtual character. Sometimes, a video game is nice to play to relax, but the point is to relax, not to invest your time in.
There is much more I want to input, but I want to open up the floor to you guys. I am not the smartest or the most experienced, but I have learned a lot and want to continue learning about life. What are some things that YOU changed about yourself or that you did that changed your reality? What are some books or skills that you learned that made you a better human? What are some things that are holding you back? If this has helped you, and if you want to start this discussion, please share this/give some reputation so that we can have this discourse. Let's change this forum into what it was originally intended to be.
OP, you have changed the way I view my life, as a series of decisions that ultimately compound over time to build a new reality. Yes, the randomness element is brutal, no-one chooses to be born ugly or poor, but ultimately, it's our destiny to overcome them to become the best version of yourself. There is more honor in breaking down the obstacle to cross that bridge rather than having everything handed down to you. If you have a cheatcode, the game will no longer be fun to play.
"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." - Marcus Aurelius
What this means is that every obstacle you face is the way to advance your next action. We must learn to embrace challenges and conquer them with joy. Small steps, repeated over time will climb any mountain and conquer any undertaking.
To continue this topic, let's talk about the true healthy habits and mindset changes that build up over time. Note: Please remove your ego while reading this. This is not to make ANYONE feel bad about themselves, but to educate, to help and to collaborate to have a society of the 1%. A team that cooperates will always outperform compared to the outcasts who compete.
Personally, in my life, the one thing that changed my reality the most was money. Growing up in an incredibly poor environment fueled my drive to escape the financial burdens and mental agony that comes with daily expenses. Even small things like gas to travel, clothes to look good, or eating lean and healthy were quite difficult to budget in and I had to be conscious of how I was spending my money. From that environment to running my own business now to where I make over 30k a month, and no longer have to care about daily expenses, but plan wisely to invest in myself. The mental freedom that comes from not "having to care SO MUCH" is quite huge. Even though I am not a "millionaire" yet, I at least can enjoy a little bit of stability and have the luxury to think about improving yourself rather than"surviving the daily struggle that is life".
How did I do this? Know what you are good at. If you invest your time and you are good something, you will never be poor. There will always be people who need you for your own series of talents and skillsets. Invest in yourself, invest in your skills and people will come searching for you. Starting a business is really just selling your skillset. I made this change over three years ago, and it has given me an energy to wake up in the morning, to start with gratitude and treat life as a series of smart decisions.
The second thing that changed my life was not chasing girls, but having THEM chase YOU. A lot of people on this forum are quite young and struggle to find a date/get laid/have the validation from women. You shouldn't repress this "urge". It is natural, it is genetic, it is good. However, many of you (as have I when I was young) chase. Realize that this is wrong. You should NEVER chase. You must realize that you must become the 1% of men to get 90% of women. I remember when I was 18 and went into a nightclub, the pathetic feeling of trying to get a girls validation was eye-opening enough for me to realize that the problem wasn't with my approach, but with me. Body language, especially the eyes never lies. Now, after almost 6-7 years later, I can tell you that the club is my territory. All the girls approach ME. You may never know this feeling in your life until you get here, but there is an immense power when every person you see tries to make eye-contact with you. Again, the eyes never lie. Every night I party, I have girls push themselves/literally fight to get to me (I even had brothers pushing their own sisters onto me). Some girls leave their boyfriends on the dance floor to walk up to me. Even in the washroom, I have guys asking if they can PAY ME to have them suck my **** (WTF)!. I have signed girls chests with my phone number and Instagram with their boyfriends on the floor. I have had my photos taken in a club where it went viral and had several of the staff post on their Facebook with their cellphone numbers written down for me to contact them because they didn't know who I was. Every time I go to the club with my friends, they leave after an hour because they cannot handle the amount of attention I get from both guys and girls, it kills their confidence no matter how confident they may be. All I have to do, is just stand there. That's it. If you think I am lying due to your own reality of your cognitive dissonance at this point, then feel free to downvote me. I don't think I am "better than you" or anyone else. My goal here is to educate you into healthy habits to grow mentally, spiritually, physically. The reality is, there is no "game" in the club, there is no problem with your approach, or your "confidence" or how you squint or anything. It is just the way you look. The truth hurts, but if you want to grow, you should acknowledge the root-cause rather than put a band-aid on your ego.
The point is, become the desirable man that is chased, rather than the desperate creepy guy that chases.
How do I do this? I was lucky to be born the way I am, and even though I was never particularly good-looking as a kid, I grew into my looks to a point now where daily, people ask me whether I am an actor or a model. In the past year, I have gone viral on social media platforms with over 500k views from fan-groups using my photos and each photo I post on my Instagram gets on average 7000 likes with over 500 comments. None of it is fake. The desire to "get laid" however has significantly gone down and in the club, I enjoy the attention more than actually bringing the girl home. Many times where I did bring girls home, there is a lot of baggage, territorial boundaries/ownership flags from the girl, and a lot of self-loathing that comes from having degraded yourself merely for the sake of validation. Eventually, you need to find a support system that carries you through not your best self, but your worst self. A girl who helps you grow into a better version rather than consuming the image of your best self. I am lucky to find a girl that accepts my reality, understands my need for space, but also supports the worst and best sides of me. When you find a girl like this, she is a keeper. It's not about "sex". It's about growth.
Now physically, how did I get there from 0 to hero. This forum is meant to be "looksmax". It is meant to help us grow physically, but somehow after lurking on this forum after a few years, I noticed that there is a lot of bullsh*t and the original message and goal has been distorted to making others feel bad about themselves, weak mindsets/excuses of why they are not where they should be, or just burying into a hole of self-loathing. This needs to change, and I want to make the first step towards it.
So what did I learn from my experiences?
When you aren't there, don't "fake it". Fix it.
Surgery is an option for those who lack certain physical features. It's not a magic pill, and sometimes it can definitely destroy you if you aren't careful with how you select your surgeries. I know some people who have had double jaw surgery who have significantly improved their looks, and others who came out looking like a monkey. Those who fall into the latter condition are severely depressed and slave away at their jobs, but I still commend them for having the balls to take a chance and play their cards. You have to be very smart about surgery because sometimes the consequences are irreversible. It is still a risk.
Books are so important not because of "having read" but the ideas and mental clarity that come from it. Posts like the one I suggested above contain far more value in changing your perspective than reading a book about the Agrarian Myth in America of the symbol of the "yeoman". Information must be relevant and usable, and if your point is to brag about how much you read, then you missed the point. It is not about validation of the ego, but the results of your reality.
Time management is key. How you choose to use your time. I use to play so much video games when I wanted an escape, but it is so wrong. Not only is it a waste of your time, but it is shameful to show off anything you achieved in the game. Imagine if you play World of Warcraft and you want to show off your outfit vs working your *** off and having some skills or even material goods. Treat your life as a video game character, and learn the skills to become the best human being, not a virtual character. Sometimes, a video game is nice to play to relax, but the point is to relax, not to invest your time in.
There is much more I want to input, but I want to open up the floor to you guys. I am not the smartest or the most experienced, but I have learned a lot and want to continue learning about life. What are some things that YOU changed about yourself or that you did that changed your reality? What are some books or skills that you learned that made you a better human? What are some things that are holding you back? If this has helped you, and if you want to start this discussion, please share this/give some reputation so that we can have this discourse. Let's change this forum into what it was originally intended to be.
