Middle School Ruined Me

[Deleted member 26410]

Before middle school, I felt like a Chang. I was a top student in mathematics and overall one of the top of my class academically, as well as being well-liked socially and good at most sports such as basketball and two-hand touch football. I was never a Chang, but I was also not bad-looking compared to my peers. These things led me to have decent social clout at school. I have a few distinct memories that show what potential I could've had. In fifth grade, I wrote the best persuasive essay that argued against school uniforms. My teacher showed my writing in front of the class, and I remember being praised by people and feeling confident. In sports, I remember being the king of knockout in basketball and having the most interceptions in two-hand touch football. I was also fast and agile, which led me to be one of the best long-distance runners and be able to juke out most defenders. I'm not trying to sound like one of those masculine copers, but it was back when men felt more like men. I was part of a large group of guys in my grade that played sports together. Nowadays, I barely have any friends, so I am grateful for all the male friends I made during those elementary times. Our group of male friends felt like a true brotherhood. We would do everything from playing basketball, tag, or two-hand touch football, messing with the teachers, and exploring the restricted parts of the school campus. Also, I had a few girls that liked me. I remember one of my female friends told me my crush liked me. I remember feeling a rush of dopamine and overall peak human happiness. Lastly, my parents let me be on the internet 24/7, so I made many memories watching some of my favorite YouTubers at the time, such as GuavaJuice, Dude Perfect, and SkyDoesMinecraft.

I hate that all this potential ended when I stepped foot in middle school. Middle school was a difficult time for me. People were reluctant to befriend me, and I was stuck with only a few of my nerdy friends. My elementary friends went to other middle schools, and I was stuck in a very white middle school. I never adapted or felt a part of the crowd, which made me feel isolated and never truly live a fulfilling middle school experience. Part of why I think this happened was my genetics. Before puberty, people don't have a conception of dating or barely have any self-reflection or consciousness. After people started transitioning from kid to teenager, people broke off into their own friends or dating groups. Because of my short height, people never approached me to be their friend, and no girls ever confessed to me again. These bad middle school experiences led me to a miserable three years of high school, which I am still rotting in.

It hurts that I was a kid with lots of potential but was ruined by one trait I couldn't control my height. I could've been a Chang if I was taller, or at least have felt that way with my other traits. If I could go back in time and convince my parents to buy me HGH, I would do it any day of the week. However, I can't fix my past wrongs and that is just another part of life. it still hurts thinking about this though.

 

[UndiagnosedSchizo]

not even a word

 

[comingtothisJFL]

upbringing < genetics

 

[Deleted member 26410]

upbringing < genetics

Genetics eventually gets the better of you at a certain point. I presume it's over 13 years old for most

 

[SubSigma]

I don’t think hgh would have saved you. I am a 5’11 hapa and I still felt subhuman around whites.

 

[Deleted member 24278]

Middle school was the last time I was 100 percent happy with not even a sign of mild depression or stress. Even tho high school had higher highs as well as post high school, they have had also the lowest lows that I never experienced in middle school or before so in a way that was the last time life was truly magic