Jason Voorhees
๐ธ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐ โข ๐๐๐๐๐ฅ
- Joined
- May 15, 2020
- Posts
- 85,586
- Reputation
- 254,806
I joined this forum back in May 2020 when I was just 16. I'd always been a loner throughout my middle school and high school but the COVID lockdowns annihilated any realistic shot at building friendships in the real world. With nowhere else to turn, I started exploring online forums and finally stumbled on r/incelwithoutHate and eventually landed here on looksmax.org. I was completely ignorant and didn't fully understand the nature of this forum and what it was and ended up getting bullied by everyone and what followed was a full year of pure rot
I was terminally online, doomscrolling, blackpilled, and completely detached from reality. I thought my life was already over at 17. I remember making this post like it was yesterday
looksmax.org
I just drifted through my life not knowing what to do but somehow cleared the entrance exam after a lot of grind and secured a seat in one of the most prestigious universities but all that studying rotting cycles took its toll on me. I had lost a ton of weight. First year should have been a fresh start but instead I spiraled even harder knowing I was so far behind everyone. Heavy drinking, endless partying, rotting on the forum for hours every day, and yes sleeping around with random women whose names I didn't even bother remembering. I wasn't a KHHV or just getting blowjobs I lied when I made threads and posts about that to join .is because I was hungry for attention. I wanted someone's sympathy because I had a strong victim complex. I thought the world had done me wrong and this victim complex stayed with me for a very long time and that phase wasn't fun. It wasn't who I am. It was just desperate maladaptive coping sweeping every problem under the rug so I didn't have to look at it. The booze helped me forget it and The random encounters were temporary ego patches. None of it fixed anything. All of it was just cheap validation for a fragile ego that was already shattered, months of this and the symptoms of acute depression hit like a truck.
Then, almost by accident I showed up for army selections just for the heck of it. I still don't understand why I did that. I saw that poster on the college bulletin board and then showed up on the selection day in a track suit at 5 am. Almost having missed it because I overslept and that one decision changed my life. I ended up committing to three years of voluntary service. I quit alcohol, distanced myself from all those toxic people and finally built real discipline. A lot happened in those years after that. I started working at 19. My first wages were peanuts and well minimum wage but I was still happy because I was making progress and upskilling myself and then i secured this internship and there was no looking back.
looksmax.org
I gained a lot of weight in between aswell in between neglecting my diet, a lot of problems, emotional trauma, failed relationships, burnt bridges but I was on a forward trajectory. I joined multiple startups, did freelance work, got mentored and learned from a lot of people who helped throughout the way.
I secured a full time offer at company of my dreams, lost all the weight I gained, had built connections, a real social circle with people who actually cared for me and got into a real LTR with a woman that I love by the time college wrapped up. I had sincerely turned my life around. Yet the old me still haunts me. My teenage years were completely ruined with nothing but doom and despair at sight. The daily emotional scars, the lingering social isolation, the hopelessness that used to feel permanent, they haven't fully healed. When people ask me why I have so many posts this is the reason why. That is why I sit at 85k+ posts here. This place became my diary, my escape, and eventually my second home. I didn't choose this level of activity, it chose me because the pain needed somewhere to go.
It wasn't all just my own effort. I was mentored and guided by a lot of good people who were kind enough to help a lost kid. I am very grateful for all of them but if I had to point to one person who made the biggest difference, it was my dad. He was always there for me and supported me unconditionally. It was because of his support I came out of the mess, his connections that got me my part time job and his money that got me out of situations.
I have come far from that 16 year old kid who first registered here. Blackpilled, broken, and rotting to where I am today. This forum and my posts bear witness to all that happened over the years. It wasn't easy, it didn't happen overnight, took a lot of time. When I'm narrating it all out it might seem like it was a straight upwards line but it wasn't. It was a very slow with lots of ups and downs. Almost 6 years which is a very long time, to come out and make sense of the gigantic failure of a life I was living in. If you are in one, even if it seems hopeless a turn around is possible especially when you're lucky to have people who refuse to give up on you.
I was terminally online, doomscrolling, blackpilled, and completely detached from reality. I thought my life was already over at 17. I remember making this post like it was yesterday
Turned 17 yesterday and I'm full of regrets
So here I am, just turned 17 yesterday and still don't have my driver's license. I've also never kissed a girl and have no idea what to do with my life. I honestly feel like I am a waste of fucking human space sometimes. I've been depressed for most of my senior year in high school. I have 0...
looksmax.org
I just drifted through my life not knowing what to do but somehow cleared the entrance exam after a lot of grind and secured a seat in one of the most prestigious universities but all that studying rotting cycles took its toll on me. I had lost a ton of weight. First year should have been a fresh start but instead I spiraled even harder knowing I was so far behind everyone. Heavy drinking, endless partying, rotting on the forum for hours every day, and yes sleeping around with random women whose names I didn't even bother remembering. I wasn't a KHHV or just getting blowjobs I lied when I made threads and posts about that to join .is because I was hungry for attention. I wanted someone's sympathy because I had a strong victim complex. I thought the world had done me wrong and this victim complex stayed with me for a very long time and that phase wasn't fun. It wasn't who I am. It was just desperate maladaptive coping sweeping every problem under the rug so I didn't have to look at it. The booze helped me forget it and The random encounters were temporary ego patches. None of it fixed anything. All of it was just cheap validation for a fragile ego that was already shattered, months of this and the symptoms of acute depression hit like a truck.
Then, almost by accident I showed up for army selections just for the heck of it. I still don't understand why I did that. I saw that poster on the college bulletin board and then showed up on the selection day in a track suit at 5 am. Almost having missed it because I overslept and that one decision changed my life. I ended up committing to three years of voluntary service. I quit alcohol, distanced myself from all those toxic people and finally built real discipline. A lot happened in those years after that. I started working at 19. My first wages were peanuts and well minimum wage but I was still happy because I was making progress and upskilling myself and then i secured this internship and there was no looking back.
I secured the super dream summer internship at american express
Follow up to this thread https://looksmax.org/threads/i-got-shortlisted-for-nvidias-and-american-expresss-summer-internship.1133576/ I'm in. Still haven't accepted the offer. As I have a few more companies in the pipeline @TechnoBoss @Chadeep @ascension
looksmax.org
I gained a lot of weight in between aswell in between neglecting my diet, a lot of problems, emotional trauma, failed relationships, burnt bridges but I was on a forward trajectory. I joined multiple startups, did freelance work, got mentored and learned from a lot of people who helped throughout the way.
I secured a full time offer at company of my dreams, lost all the weight I gained, had built connections, a real social circle with people who actually cared for me and got into a real LTR with a woman that I love by the time college wrapped up. I had sincerely turned my life around. Yet the old me still haunts me. My teenage years were completely ruined with nothing but doom and despair at sight. The daily emotional scars, the lingering social isolation, the hopelessness that used to feel permanent, they haven't fully healed. When people ask me why I have so many posts this is the reason why. That is why I sit at 85k+ posts here. This place became my diary, my escape, and eventually my second home. I didn't choose this level of activity, it chose me because the pain needed somewhere to go.
It wasn't all just my own effort. I was mentored and guided by a lot of good people who were kind enough to help a lost kid. I am very grateful for all of them but if I had to point to one person who made the biggest difference, it was my dad. He was always there for me and supported me unconditionally. It was because of his support I came out of the mess, his connections that got me my part time job and his money that got me out of situations.
I have come far from that 16 year old kid who first registered here. Blackpilled, broken, and rotting to where I am today. This forum and my posts bear witness to all that happened over the years. It wasn't easy, it didn't happen overnight, took a lot of time. When I'm narrating it all out it might seem like it was a straight upwards line but it wasn't. It was a very slow with lots of ups and downs. Almost 6 years which is a very long time, to come out and make sense of the gigantic failure of a life I was living in. If you are in one, even if it seems hopeless a turn around is possible especially when you're lucky to have people who refuse to give up on you.
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