My ex contacted me and I feel suicidal

I literally insulted my ex until she got so mad she blocked me out of everywhere is like burning a boat, you cant go back.

How many times did I do that with her lol?

She likes drama. That's her very goal.

Actually maybe I did better that I said that I'll go to her (but I will not). If I refused, that would give her some thrill, she'd start to ask why, try to convince me etc. The best strategy with her is to be calm, polite, boring and plain.

Guys, I know I'm retarded but I can't help it. She has the keys to my brain. She knows everything about me. I can close myself up against almost anyone, but she's the one and only girl I can't. And she knows it.

It was a huge failo on my side to fall in love for the first time with a psycho, but it's too late.
 
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How many times did I do that with her lol?

She likes drama. That's her very goal.

Actually maybe I did better that I said that I'll go to her (but I will not). If I refused, that would give her some thrill, she'd start to ask why, try to convince me etc. The best strategy with her is to be calm, polite, boring and plain.

Guys, I know I'm retarded but I can't help it. She has the keys to my brain. She knows everything about me. I can close myself up against almost anyone, but she's the one and only girl I can't. And she knows it.

It was a huge failo on my side to fall in love for the first time with a psycho, but it's too late.

You can delude yourself into thinking she is dead also, but ye, girls know ugly guys are deprived from companionship and they explote that being hot and cold. The best thing is to ignore tbh, hugely difficult tbh.
 
How many times did I do that with her lol?

She likes drama. That's her very goal.

Actually maybe I did better that I said that I'll go to her (but I will not). If I refused, that would give her some thrill, she'd start to ask why, try to convince me etc. The best strategy with her is to be calm, polite, boring and plain.

Guys, I know I'm retarded but I can't help it. She has the keys to my brain. She knows everything about me. I can close myself up against almost anyone, but she's the one and only girl I can't. And she knows it.

It was a huge failo on my side to fall in love for the first time with a psycho, but it's too late.
it's been 20 years u could have aloofmaxxed rbh
 
Dude, I'm trying everything I can, but there are things that are unfixable.
in this case it would have been an easy fix have u had a normal and sane mind and even a gf/wife rn
 
So my ex wrote.

She was my first. I was f*ckin madly in love, but she never appreciated it. She wanted to cheat on me, but I broke up with her before that happened.
Later she had dozens of cocks, had threesomes and she got pregnant but had miscarriage.

That was the history. Now the present.

She's been married for 3 years, she and her husband are trying to have a baby. She has a big language school and she's making pretty good money.

Nice people's lives don't get better. Cheaters win. There's no justice. I'm not a nice guy anymore, but I have been redpilled too late in my life. I don't want to live on this planet. There is literally nothing for me here. I'm too old for "revenge by success".

There's no love for dudes like me.

I feel very suicidal at the moment and I started buying stuff, but it's probably not the time yet.
i got ptsd from your post, really sorry for u bro we are in the same boat but i am younger than you
 
in this case it would have been an easy fix have u had a normal and sane mind and even a gf/wife rn

If I had normal parents, if I had normal friends, if I had normal gf/wife and family.

Yes. Unfortunately, I was born in hell.
 
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Giving a foid power over your emotions is dangerous because they know when they have you and they will abuse it
 
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It's been 20 years actually, lol. Some wounds never heal.

It's my parents' fault. I was abused by my father, he also tried to kill me. I have been suicidal since age 9, but I had only 1 attempt around the age of 20, after a breakup with the foid in question.

There are wounds that time does not heal. If you had your leg chopped, it will not grow back.



The things I wrote.

So she has a happy middle class life and I am rotting here.


Life does not get better. Looks like it's the time to start planning for escape.
Oh wow, dude. I thought this was a copypasta. What do you me she has a language school?
 
What do you me she has a language school?

She is a teacher. She owns a private practice where she teaches dudes language. She's not rich, but definitely upper middle class.
 
lmfao funniest thread ive read on this forum, its over for you bro


allowing a dumb foid to live rent free in your head for 20 years



J F L
 
OP

What do you do for a living? Have you graduated college?

You said you’re 39 man
 
Holy shit what a psychopathic whore, there's no way she didn't know about how you felt about her so the fact shes contacting you right now and inviting you over is because she either wants to rub it in your face to show you how much she's moved on without you, or she's trying to cheat on her husband and fuck you. Beyond these two there is literally no reason incentive for an old ex whos relationship ended with you so badly to now reach out and contact you now, in fact the best thing would've been to leave this in the past. Something's not right OP.
 
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Try to better yourself and make friends OP, honestly maybe join a construction company and just bond with the other guys over time, it sounds like your early childhood messed with your ability to connect with others in the future. I think some stable friendships would be a good start
 
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How many times did I do that with her lol?

She likes drama. That's her very goal.

Actually maybe I did better that I said that I'll go to her (but I will not). If I refused, that would give her some thrill, she'd start to ask why, try to convince me etc. The best strategy with her is to be calm, polite, boring and plain.

Guys, I know I'm retarded but I can't help it. She has the keys to my brain. She knows everything about me. I can close myself up against almost anyone, but she's the one and only girl I can't. And she knows it.

It was a huge failo on my side to fall in love for the first time with a psycho, but it's too late.
Update
 
I kinda understand you, I also have an ex which I cant fuckin get over, even tho Im now dating another girl, I still cant fully get over her, it always makes me sad that we broke up, mainly because it was my fault. But nigga, you let this shit consume you for too much time, you should have worked on yourself, I understand when you say that there is some wounds that never heal, it has been the same thing for me, but I refuse to just rot and wait for death, Im gonna pursue a better life, maybe I'll never forget her but I refuse to let a woman kill me
 
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Reactions: quakociaptockh
Yeah, I did everything, I educated myself, found a rather good job, been in relationships, fucked foids and stuff.

It's just something you'll never get over. Just like a leg won't grow back when it's cut off.

Right now my biggest problem is I lost a way to meet new foids, because lockdown. Tinder doesn't work for me, maybe if I said I'm 10 yrs younger I would catch sth. I troll on several discord servers and indeed I get relationships offers, but it's from foids I don't want anything to do with. They're not even past prime, not post wall, not even milf, they're granny tier. I know I mustn't expect much since I'm an oldcel myself, but I still want to fuck prime fertile pink pussies and no amount of attention from grannyfoids will change that.

That is the answer to the cope "your life will get better when you're older". It's equally difficult to have children and start a family no matter if you're youngcel or oldcel. When you're youngcel you get ignored. When you're oldcel you get attention... but only from post-menopausal leftovers.

Now, guys, you must prove that you are real friends by telling me where should I go search for foids.

- Tinder doesn't work (age).
- Match.com only matches me with single mums.
- Dancing classes are gone.
- Churches are closed. (I legitly found 1 foid in a church.)
- Work is mostly remote nowadays.

I have a friend who had a crazy idea to found a startup (covid related) and to post job adverts and interview foids and select them on the basis if they are hot. I'm not joking here and I admire that dude from the depths of my heart. I've seen some of his chicks and that shit really works; they even had quarrels.

It's pretty insane what you have to do in 2021 in order to have a pretense of human contact, but we must overcome it at all cost or we'll go extinct.
 

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