My experience gymcelling and questions regarding gear

[Be Patient With Me]

I am now 19 and have been gymcelling since I was 14, but in the most inconsistent way possible, I still don't even look like an untrained black teen, and it is completely my fault. I don't eat well, I don't sleep well, heck, I don't even train well. Time and time again, I said to myself that I wanted to "lock in" and change my habits, yet I never did. This happened at least 20 times during the last 5 years, and I have accepted that I will never change. Seeing my friends who actually hit the gym consistently still look like they don't lift, reinforced my laziness even more because what even is the point?

Now, all that's on my mind is building muscle effortlessly because I know that I can never lock in, even if it means in an unnatural way. This may sound retarded and obvious, but my priority is my health, my biggest dream in life is to be a father, and I'd rather not lose my fertility (I'm emphasizing fertility, but I don't want any major health problems, really)

I haven't done much research, but I was thinking of either doing RAD-140 (with enclo) or 250test (with hcg). What do y'all think? What can guarantee me muscle but still be rather safe?

I want a cycle, maybe two a year (5-8 weeks ish???). I do NOT want to inject test regularly.

 

[Be Patient With Me]

mods i dont know why this was posted twice in fitness and health, i didnt mean to do that im sorry

 

[hyhxhxxh]

I am now 19 and have been gymcelling since I was 14, but in the most inconsistent way possible, I still don't even look like an untrained black teen, and it is completely my fault. I don't eat well, I don't sleep well, heck, I don't even train well. Time and time again, I said to myself that I wanted to "lock in" and change my habits, yet I never did. This happened at least 20 times during the last 5 years, and I have accepted that I will never change. Seeing my friends who actually hit the gym consistently still look like they don't lift, reinforced my laziness even more because what even is the point?

Now, all that's on my mind is building muscle effortlessly because I know that I can never lock in, even if it means in an unnatural way. This may sound retarded and obvious, but my priority is my health, my biggest dream in life is to be a father, and I'd rather not lose my fertility (I'm emphasizing fertility, but I don't want any major health problems, really)

I haven't done much research, but I was thinking of either doing RAD-140 (with enclo) or 250test (with hcg). What do y'all think? What can guarantee me muscle but still be rather safe?

I want a cycle, maybe two a year (5-8 weeks ish???). I do NOT want to inject test regularly.

If you're not conscientious and driven enough to get your basic health right consistently, the steroids thing starts to look really lopsided. They're a hassle themselves, and what are you gonna do when you get sides and your health is fucked because you didn't "lock in" enough to?

Would you be dedicated enough to get panels done regularly?

I don't mean to be fatalistic. You still can get progress with your habits. But this is jumping several steps. Your health is your priority, and gear is relatively safe if you do it right. But I think you can understand that I wouldn't trust you to do it right.

Perhaps examine what's causing your consistent failure to adhere to your sleep, diet and exercise?