My father disgusts me

[Deleted member 216958]

He could act in the most normal and human way possible and I would still feel disgusted and emotionally dissociated.

When he tries to make me laugh with jokes I cant laugh, I cant even fake it. And I feel bad after not appreciating him trying to make me happy, but I just cant seem to love him, or like him at all.

Maybe I have some childhood trauma that I cant even remember? Or the negativity in my family just made me the way I am. From what I can remember he has never been a good father, he has always been quite the opposite.

I see him trying to make up for all the damage he has done, but its too late now.

 

[John_Locke11]

My dads the same way, he had a shit dad, and when i was younger he was a shit dad to me as well. At this point all you can do is just try to forgive and forget, cause all this anger is only gonna hurt your more.

 

[FoidEater]

He could act in the most normal and human way possible and I would still feel disgusted and emotionally dissociated.

When he tries to make me laugh with jokes I cant laugh, I cant even fake it. And I feel bad after not appreciating him trying to make me happy, but I just cant seem to love him, or like him at all.

Maybe I have some childhood trauma that I cant even remember? Or the negativity in my family just made me the way I am. From what I can remember he has never been a good father, he has always been quite the opposite.

I see him trying to make up for all the damage he has done, but its too late now.

What did he do?

 

[Vlad_The_Indiffrent]

my dad mediumkey personality maxxed after divorce

 

[Sceptical]

my father doesn't treat me like a son or even talk to me

 

[SennenHund]

I refuse to engage in meaningful conversation with him, and I know it effects him. He is an apologist for crime ridden migrants and has severe anger issues. He had a chimpout episode a while back that was so bad that I recorded it so he couldnt "forget" what hes done. He tried to grab my arm and my body to steal my phone so I pushed him away hard to teach him a fucking lesson and ran out the house. He has the sort of incoherent "religious" idealogy you would expect from your average half and half fake Christian who can only be fucked to show up on Christmas and Easter and ignore the book the rest of the year, complete with virtue signaling and the whole get up.


He tries to put on this pseudo pretentious "knowledgable and calm" act and if I disagree with him, he does the *you think you know everything shit. Hes tried to stop me from playing sports and showing up to wrestling and even told me the military "didnt want me" and that id "just be a cook" if I joined. I hate his feminine mannerisms, his jokes, him forcing his nigger bronze age idealogy on me, his paternalistic bullshit, his anger issues, and his need to be loud for no reason.

He lies about early life experiences with girls and even my mother, the embodiment of TrueStacy, doesnt believe his stories about his dating life before meeting her. He thinks of himself as a "mediator" in every problem, his ego doesnt let him see how he almost unilaterally everytime makes a problem 50x worse when he decides to jump in. Hes shit at "keeping the peace" but is delusional enough to think he has "control". I am nothing like him and proud to say that. We have none of the same interests, ideas, and even then he at least acknowledges that I am relatively smarter then he was at 18. We shouldve never left to the city or embraced the urban disease.