My father is an abused narcissistic cunt

[Deleted member 16960]

My father never loved me or my family, he only cared about himself. He cheated on my mother when she was pregnant. When she found out that my father cheated, she was severely depressed and in pain. As a result, my mother had a preterm birth and I was born nonoptimal. I was prone to many diseases which include depression, anxiety, and maybe autism. I could never get a giga jaw with giga bonemass and giga height of 6ft5

I get why my father is such an abused narcissistic dog. He was born during wartime when people had to suffer greatly. He faced starvation and destruction caused by American dogs. He had to leave his family to move to Saigon at the age of 17 to start his life. I admire my father that he's a hardworker and all the things he's been through honed the person he is today.

But also at the same time, he's very narcissistic, which stems from the hardships that he endured at a young age. He only lives to survive and take care of himself. Nobody deserves to succeed besides him. He never cared about my family, he broke my mothers heart and cheated on her with thots. From his point of view, he considers himself a slayer, but I loathe him from the bottom of my heart. He only provides for me financially, never emotional support or be a father figure that I always wish he was.

I am afraid I am following his path, I will suffer from this torturing hell forever. I can not afford to have children as they will eventually go through what I also suffer.

 

[ChristianChad]

How old are you?

 

[Deleted member 16960]

How old are you?

I am 19, my friend

 

[Deleted member 16960]

gay forum

 

[getra]

Damn my dad must have been a giga-cheater then with the way I fucking turned out.

 

[6ft4]

Have you suffered trauma?
Have you had any intimacy with girls?
Has your experience affected your ability to form relationships throughout your life?

I have a strong dislike for my mother and as an introverted child that was constantly trapped within my internal monologue and unable to speak in social situations, I ended up thinking about why I'd like to see her dead. I questioned why she wanted to inflict suffering on me when I never misbehaved but it all turned to anger and hatred which I hold to this day.
Now when it comes to females I can only get pleasure from fucking a girl once unless she becomes clingy and obsessed with me and messages me constantly, then I will fuck her again
If she gets extremely clingy I will stay in contact with her all the time then she gets bored if it and cuts contact

 

[Deleted member 16960]

Have you suffered trauma?
Have you had any intimacy with girls?
Has your experience affected your ability to form relationships throughout your life?

I have a strong dislike for my mother and as an introverted child that was constantly trapped within my internal monologue and unable to speak in social situations, I ended up thinking about why I'd like to see her dead. I questioned why she wanted to inflict suffering on me when I never misbehaved but it all turned to anger and hatred which I hold to this day.
Now when it comes to females I can only get pleasure from fucking a girl once unless she becomes clingy and obsessed with me and messages me constantly, then I will fuck her again
If she gets extremely clingy I will stay in contact with her all the time then she gets bored if it and cuts contact

- Yes I have
- No I have not, due to severe autism
- Yes, I basically reject any relationships because fear of getting hurt by someone or fear that I will turn out to be like my father

- Sad story bro, I think we can sympathize each other due to the same issue

 

[Deleted member 16960]

 

[getra]

Have you suffered trauma?
Have you had any intimacy with girls?
Has your experience affected your ability to form relationships throughout your life?

I have a strong dislike for my mother and as an introverted child that was constantly trapped within my internal monologue and unable to speak in social situations, I ended up thinking about why I'd like to see her dead. I questioned why she wanted to inflict suffering on me when I never misbehaved but it all turned to anger and hatred which I hold to this day.
Now when it comes to females I can only get pleasure from fucking a girl once unless she becomes clingy and obsessed with me and messages me constantly, then I will fuck her again
If she gets extremely clingy I will stay in contact with her all the time then she gets bored if it and cuts contact

You gotta break the curse. If not for you, at least for your kids if u plan on having any.

 

[getra]

Have you suffered trauma?
Have you had any intimacy with girls?
Has your experience affected your ability to form relationships throughout your life?

I have a strong dislike for my mother and as an introverted child that was constantly trapped within my internal monologue and unable to speak in social situations, I ended up thinking about why I'd like to see her dead. I questioned why she wanted to inflict suffering on me when I never misbehaved but it all turned to anger and hatred which I hold to this day.
Now when it comes to females I can only get pleasure from fucking a girl once unless she becomes clingy and obsessed with me and messages me constantly, then I will fuck her again
If she gets extremely clingy I will stay in contact with her all the time then she gets bored if it and cuts contact

I’ve had pretty much the same childhood from what you described. I did have behavioral issues when I was like a toddler tho. But shit that suffering lasted forever. What I’ve noticed is I tend to only come close with girls who have attachment issues. It just happens like it’s natural. We gotta do better.

 

[6ft4]

I’ve had pretty much the same childhood from what you described. I did have behavioral issues when I was like a toddler tho. But shit that suffering lasted forever. What I’ve noticed is I tend to only come close with girls who have attachment issues. It just happens like it’s natural. We gotta do better.

I wonder how my life would've turned out if I had normal formative years
My mother is most likely bipolar and had weekly mental breakdowns where she would scream at and insult everyone in the house for whatever reason she decided to invent.
My father was passive and just ignored her when she did it so I learned to do the same. Then I got to school and some prick would insult me in front of others and I would just remain mute because that was all I knew.
My father never spoke up and told my mother she shouldn't treat me the way she did, he always just pandered to her, it's brutal to realize as I got older how much control she had over him and how he didn't just beat the shit out of her which I certainly wanted to do.

Around the time I turned 19 I noticed I started showing some signs of bipolar behavior in myself. Since I had nobody to take my frustration out on I started insulting girls online who would flake on planned meetings or stop replying to my messages. When I would get drunk I would unleash a lot of anger also, usually to stuck up cunts in nightclubs. I felt I had to get back at the world and being on roids and getting drunk allowed me to justify my behavior because I seen women as cunts that needed to be taken down some pegs.

The few girls I spoke to online that I ended up wanting more than a one night stand with were all abandoned by their fathers.
What I noticed about them was they show interest quite early on and keep the conversation going to the point where you can have a continuous conversation every day. The common trend with all of them is that they will say the self harm or have anxiety/depression and act like I am amazing for my willingness to talk about their problems with them. Then out of the blue they will take a week or two where they don't open my message or don't respond then either have an excuse when they respond or say that they can't keep talking to me but then change their mind and act like everything is fine again. One girl was saying she was going through something but didn't want to talk about it and I asked why not and she blocked me. Their mindset is to punish you for caring or being nice to them.
Out of the 4 girls that met this description I fucked 2 of them so I took it as a net win.
There was another girl I only briefly spoke to before fucking who was abandoned by her father but I treated her like a rag doll when fucking her which she appeared to love at the time but she blocked my afterwards so I won that round

You gotta break the curse. If not for you, at least for your kids if u plan on having any.

I remember swearing I would never get married or have children when I was 6 years old due to my hatred for my mother

 

[getra]

I wonder how my life would've turned out if I had normal formative years
My mother is most likely bipolar and had weekly mental breakdowns where she would scream at and insult everyone in the house for whatever reason she decided to invent.
My father was passive and just ignored her when she did it so I learned to do the same. Then I got to school and some prick would insult me in front of others and I would just remain mute because that was all I knew.
My father never spoke up and told my mother she shouldn't treat me the way she did, he always just pandered to her, it's brutal to realize as I got older how much control she had over him and how he didn't just beat the shit out of her which I certainly wanted to do.

Around the time I turned 19 I noticed I started showing some signs of bipolar behavior in myself. Since I had nobody to take my frustration out on I started insulting girls online who would flake on planned meetings or stop replying to my messages. When I would get drunk I would unleash a lot of anger also, usually to stuck up cunts in nightclubs. I felt I had to get back at the world and being on roids and getting drunk allowed me to justify my behavior because I seen women as cunts that needed to be taken down some pegs.

The few girls I spoke to online that I ended up wanting more than a one night stand with were all abandoned by their fathers.
What I noticed about them was they show interest quite early on and keep the conversation going to the point where you can have a continuous conversation every day. The common trend with all of them is that they will say the self harm or have anxiety/depression and act like I am amazing for my willingness to talk about their problems with them. Then out of the blue they will take a week or two where they don't open my message or don't respond then either have an excuse when they respond or say that they can't keep talking to me but then change their mind and act like everything is fine again. One girl was saying she was going through something but didn't want to talk about it and I asked why not and she blocked me. Their mindset is to punish you for caring or being nice to them.
Out of the 4 girls that met this description I fucked 2 of them so I took it as a net win.
There was another girl I only briefly spoke to before fucking who was abandoned by her father but I treated her like a rag doll when fucking her which she appeared to love at the time but she blocked my afterwards so I won that round



I remember swearing I would never get married or have children when I was 6 years old due to my hatred for my mother

Same, the sex is great especially to take out frustration, but actually trying to be human with them. Jfl forget it. I hate to say it but deep down those girls are just cum rags. At least you didn’t invest much. I tried my best to turn my ex around from the way she saw herself but I got cheated on fucked over in the end just like you did. And yeah, my mom and dad were the same. I get out down frequently even though people say I look intimidating. At the end of the day, I let it happen to myself. Trauma is horrible fam, almost inescapable at times, and I say that because even then, you realize it’s presence.

She kept telling me I gave up, when in reality she gave up on herself. Tough, considering how pretty and smart she seemed.

 

[6ft4]

Same, the sex is great especially to take out frustration, but actually trying to be human with them. Jfl forget it. I hate to say it but deep down those girls are just cum rags. At least you didn’t invest much. I tried my best to turn my ex around from the way she saw herself but I got cheated on fucked over in the end just like you did. And yeah, my mom and dad were the same. I get out down frequently even though people say I look intimidating. At the end of the day, I let it happen to myself. Trauma is horrible fam, almost inescapable at times, and I say that because even then, you realize it’s presence.

She kept telling me I gave up, when in reality she gave up on herself. Tough, considering how pretty and smart she seemed.

In what scenarios do you get put down? I was an underbitecel ecto growing up and just accepted people were always going to make a joke out of me but then I roidcelled to be bigger than 98% of people. Guys would still try insult me in front of others when they thought I wouldn't hear them or wouldn't react because it would somehow earn them point among other NPCs. I think because I was often by myself in social settings or because of my demanour where I don't hold much eye contact they sense that my behavior is not congruent with my appearance so they see me as a target to climb over in the normie crabs in a bucket hierarchy.

The last girl I dealt with met pretty much every physical criteria I looked for in a girl then she began cutting contact with me randomly then once I put a snapchat story up with another girl she would try talking to me again. I hated her for that because I realized I had no actual value in her eyes. She was as hive mind as they get

 

[getra]

.

 

[Anomaly]

My father never loved me or my family, he only cared about himself. He cheated on my mother when she was pregnant. When she found out that my father cheated, she was severely depressed and in pain. As a result, my mother had a preterm birth and I was born nonoptimal. I was prone to many diseases which include depression, anxiety, and maybe autism. I could never get a giga jaw with giga bonemass and giga height of 6ft5

I get why my father is such an abused narcissistic dog. He was born during wartime when people had to suffer greatly. He faced starvation and destruction caused by American dogs. He had to leave his family to move to Saigon at the age of 17 to start his life. I admire my father that he's a hardworker and all the things he's been through honed the person he is today.

But also at the same time, he's very narcissistic, which stems from the hardships that he endured at a young age. He only lives to survive and take care of himself. Nobody deserves to succeed besides him. He never cared about my family, he broke my mothers heart and cheated on her with thots. From his point of view, he considers himself a slayer, but I loathe him from the bottom of my heart. He only provides for me financially, never emotional support or be a father figure that I always wish he was.

I am afraid I am following his path, I will suffer from this torturing hell forever. I can not afford to have children as they will eventually go through what I also suffer.

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