Gengar
male gaze victim
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i decided to try out acid because i heard good things about it, two people i knew well told me it got rid of their depression and they became religious again, this despite the fact as you all know im strictly islamic already so it was a big step for me, yet i decided to take the leap. i was interested in their "no longer depressed" part and i felt like i could use that because i had fallen into a deep depression the year before but ill spare you the details.
so on the 7th of this month, i took 150 mcg of acid at 11pm. i had a headache from all the stressing earlier that day yet i decided to take it anyway. i didnt feel anything the first 45 minutes but slowly i became more giggly and i could feel my jaw clenching. i was just in my room and i decided to lay down in bed because of the headache. now it was 12am. i look at the ceiling and i thought i saw bugs crawling all over but it was just the blood stains of all the bugs i crushed to death that was moving. i then looked at my wall and i saw patterns moving, i constantly thought to myself "am i tripping?" because i believe i hadnt. i also thought "did my wall always look this interesting?"
then i just lost track of time. i didnt think i was tripping but i was shitposting on another forum and said i took acid earlier and one of the guys posted "whatever happens, dont fight it". right around that time i just felt so weird, like i could barely move my arms and stuff. i still didnt believe i was tripping but my headache just got so bad. i was looking at my computer screen and it looked a little bit glitchy. i still didnt think i was tripping. before i knew it, it was already 4:15am. it just felt like a few moments. between 2am and 4:!5am my headache got so bad and i completely forgot who i was, where i was, how i got to where i was. i lost myself. i felt like there were a dozen timelines and i forgot which one was mine. everytime i tried to think, my head would hurt incredibly bad so i just couldnt think at all. i was reminded of what the guy posted earlier and said "oh well, none of it matters now. all of this is out my control... just like the problems in my life, they are out of my control. i cant do anything about that." it just hit me. i realized i didnt have to be dealing with these emotional problems because they were out of my control. then suddenly i fell asleep.
then i woke up at 6am which was 1 hour and 45 minutes later. i remember feeling disappointed in myself that i managed to fall asleep because everyone who is on acid says you cant sleep at all. so i didnt think i was tripping at all. i started thinking about what happened the night before because by 6am it was already completely light outside. but despite being disappointed, it didnt bother me. i was so care-free. i went to the bathroom and then back to my room, i was just vibing to the music i was listening to. i was reflecting on the night before and i told myself again that the problems i were dealing were out of my control, so theres no point in worrying over that or stressing over that. i basically let all of that stuff go that was bothering me so much emotionally. i decided to watch a
i proceeded to look at my wall to see if it was interesting and it actually kinda was. because i fell asleep last night and because my wall looked interesting still, i thought i wasnt tripping at all and that my wall was always that interesting but i just never noticed it, so i just told people who knew about it that i didnt know i was tripping at all. eventually it was 2pm and i decided to sleep. then i woke up at 11pm and i looked at my wall and it wasnt interesting at all. thats when i realized.. i did trip after all.
i think i fell asleep because i have a naturally higher tolerance to acid and other substances in general. i also found out something interesting about psychedelics. so as you guys all know im pakistani, and to be more precise a pakistani panjabi. apparently theres a 3000 year old text called the rig veda about consuming psychedelics which was composed by the vedic civilization that started in panjab, which is mainly in pakistan. even though those are holy texts for the hindus and no longer relevant to me since im islamic, i thought it was really interesting nonetheless. maybe its just in my genetics.
im so glad that i decided to take the acid because it got rid of my depression completely. i honestly cant believe thats all it took. i managed to overcome my emotional problems that i was dealing with the past year completely. i still feel the same way i do and we are now here almost two weeks later. i was looking forward to tripping again, this time with a higher dosage. my friend was gonna give me 225 mcg but he wont be able to see me until early september and i wanted to trip again one more time before the summer break is over. so i decided to order some lsd online, already paid money and stuff but i havent heard anything about it since. probably got scammed lol.
tl;dr: did acid for the first time earlier, changed my life completely and made me overcome my deep depression finally. i feel so care-free now. alhamdullilah (all praise to god).
so on the 7th of this month, i took 150 mcg of acid at 11pm. i had a headache from all the stressing earlier that day yet i decided to take it anyway. i didnt feel anything the first 45 minutes but slowly i became more giggly and i could feel my jaw clenching. i was just in my room and i decided to lay down in bed because of the headache. now it was 12am. i look at the ceiling and i thought i saw bugs crawling all over but it was just the blood stains of all the bugs i crushed to death that was moving. i then looked at my wall and i saw patterns moving, i constantly thought to myself "am i tripping?" because i believe i hadnt. i also thought "did my wall always look this interesting?"
then i just lost track of time. i didnt think i was tripping but i was shitposting on another forum and said i took acid earlier and one of the guys posted "whatever happens, dont fight it". right around that time i just felt so weird, like i could barely move my arms and stuff. i still didnt believe i was tripping but my headache just got so bad. i was looking at my computer screen and it looked a little bit glitchy. i still didnt think i was tripping. before i knew it, it was already 4:15am. it just felt like a few moments. between 2am and 4:!5am my headache got so bad and i completely forgot who i was, where i was, how i got to where i was. i lost myself. i felt like there were a dozen timelines and i forgot which one was mine. everytime i tried to think, my head would hurt incredibly bad so i just couldnt think at all. i was reminded of what the guy posted earlier and said "oh well, none of it matters now. all of this is out my control... just like the problems in my life, they are out of my control. i cant do anything about that." it just hit me. i realized i didnt have to be dealing with these emotional problems because they were out of my control. then suddenly i fell asleep.
then i woke up at 6am which was 1 hour and 45 minutes later. i remember feeling disappointed in myself that i managed to fall asleep because everyone who is on acid says you cant sleep at all. so i didnt think i was tripping at all. i started thinking about what happened the night before because by 6am it was already completely light outside. but despite being disappointed, it didnt bother me. i was so care-free. i went to the bathroom and then back to my room, i was just vibing to the music i was listening to. i was reflecting on the night before and i told myself again that the problems i were dealing were out of my control, so theres no point in worrying over that or stressing over that. i basically let all of that stuff go that was bothering me so much emotionally. i decided to watch a
i proceeded to look at my wall to see if it was interesting and it actually kinda was. because i fell asleep last night and because my wall looked interesting still, i thought i wasnt tripping at all and that my wall was always that interesting but i just never noticed it, so i just told people who knew about it that i didnt know i was tripping at all. eventually it was 2pm and i decided to sleep. then i woke up at 11pm and i looked at my wall and it wasnt interesting at all. thats when i realized.. i did trip after all.
i think i fell asleep because i have a naturally higher tolerance to acid and other substances in general. i also found out something interesting about psychedelics. so as you guys all know im pakistani, and to be more precise a pakistani panjabi. apparently theres a 3000 year old text called the rig veda about consuming psychedelics which was composed by the vedic civilization that started in panjab, which is mainly in pakistan. even though those are holy texts for the hindus and no longer relevant to me since im islamic, i thought it was really interesting nonetheless. maybe its just in my genetics.
im so glad that i decided to take the acid because it got rid of my depression completely. i honestly cant believe thats all it took. i managed to overcome my emotional problems that i was dealing with the past year completely. i still feel the same way i do and we are now here almost two weeks later. i was looking forward to tripping again, this time with a higher dosage. my friend was gonna give me 225 mcg but he wont be able to see me until early september and i wanted to trip again one more time before the summer break is over. so i decided to order some lsd online, already paid money and stuff but i havent heard anything about it since. probably got scammed lol.
tl;dr: did acid for the first time earlier, changed my life completely and made me overcome my deep depression finally. i feel so care-free now. alhamdullilah (all praise to god).