My journal entry 5/12/26

[dogedogedoge]

Inb4 “dnr”
Inb4 “man up faggot”

Eventually, when my account is found by people I know, I hope everyone reads this and laughs at me:

I am ugly. I will never be content with myself. I will never be comfortable in my skin. There is nothing I can do to change it. I can’t even cope, my brain won’t let me.

I’ll never have a girl who loves me. Every girl has already fucked at LEAST 10 dudes, and I’ve never even held a girls hand. I am so far behind I will never find a girl that is on the same level as me. I found a girl on the internet who I guess is a whore or something and I ignored it and fell in love with her. I don’t know how it’s relevant, I guess I’m saying it’s possible for me to let it slide…

I fell in love with her but it made me sick. Every time I thought of the fact that another man’s lips has touched hers, or the fact that she’s been bent raw by someone else I want to throw up (like rn). I have NO hope in finding someone, and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve never felt loved, I’ve never felt special to anyone, I’ve never had anything. When I had her it was new to me and I fucked it up, she’s a bad person too, but it was my fault. And now that it’s gone, I don’t know how to live without it. I’m not one to fall in love or say I love someone easily, I really meant it. I don’t want anyone else, I want what I already know and love. How could I even when I’m still in love with her? I’ll always be in love with her because she was the first, there’s no getting over it, if you were me you would understand :c

If I wasn’t ugly this love wouldn’t be an issue. It wouldn’t have been my first. It would have just been another one. It only hurts so much because my first was at 19, I’m so attached I could never see myself with anyone else. I tell myself I’m over it sometimes and I’m done being obsessed with her, but I always look for her in people.

I don’t want to have to form new bonds, I don’t want to learn another person’s interests, I don’t want to learn about another person’s friends and family, I don’t want to learn about another person’s problems, I don’t want to learn how another person likes to be treated, I don’t want to learn another person’s favorite nicknames, I don’t want to learn another persons personality. Why would I when I already know her, and I love everything she has to offer :c

And yes, I only knew her online, which makes it so much worse. It makes me so much more pathetic. It makes it so much harder. If I knew her in person it wouldn’t have been so easy for her to shut me out. I would have NEVER made the mistakes I did. I could have gotten her to communicate how she felt. None of the problems that led to her hating me would have ever existed.

But then again, she never would have even looked at me in person, because I am so ugly

I just really wanted it to work and I really wanna kiss her I love her lips

• “I’d commit some murder, yea, all for your love” - rab

Tagging people I’ve talked to about her under some threads: @filipbrah @Matrix88 @NoExit
Maybe @coastal

@Revan is the only reason I posted this so if you enjoyed thank them

 

[dogedogedoge]

 

[buccalfatremoval]

Sad young shonen

 

[dogedogedoge]

Sad young shonen

I wish that I could change my mind

 

[buccalfatremoval]

I haven’t experienced love so my advice might be inaccurate, whenever I have unbearable thoughts (assuming you got rid of the source eg foid in this manner) I kinda just let it consume me until I can just live with it in the background.
Funnily enough just dnr it lol

 

[Ryutei]

Just accept this hedonist reality and forget about love

 

[dogedogedoge]

I haven’t experienced love so my advice might be inaccurate, whenever I have unbearable thoughts (assuming you got rid of the source eg foid in this manner) I kinda just let it consume me until I can just live with it in the background.
Funnily enough just dnr it lol

I wish I could dnr it bru but it’s so overwhelming and unexplainable, you’d know if you felt this way, but I hope you never do

 

[Matrix88]

I am ugly. I will never be content with myself. I will never be comfortable in my skin. There is nothing I can do to change it. I can’t even cope, my brain won’t let me.

This is exactly how I feel. Until I get surgery I won't be able to cope with my own appearance

Eventually, when my account is found by people I know, I hope everyone reads this and laughs at me:

Do you want them to read this?

 

[dogedogedoge]

Just accept this hedonist reality and forget about love

I wasn’t even looking for love, just sex, but she made me fall in love with her :c

 

[Revan]

read every molecule

we are kinda in the same situation and its over, over over over, never even began

 

[Matrix88]

Dude stop blaming yourself and idolazing her wtf

As you said, she has more dudes and you just feel like this because ur looks don't allow you to get more women

 

[coastal]

Inb4 “dnr”
Inb4 “man up faggot”

Eventually, when my account is found by people I know, I hope everyone reads this and laughs at me:

I am ugly. I will never be content with myself. I will never be comfortable in my skin. There is nothing I can do to change it. I can’t even cope, my brain won’t let me.

I’ll never have a girl who loves me. Every girl has already fucked at LEAST 10 dudes, and I’ve never even held a girls hand. I am so far behind I will never find a girl that is on the same level as me. I found a girl on the internet who I guess is a whore or something and I ignored it and fell in love with her. I don’t know how it’s relevant, I guess I’m saying it’s possible for me to let it slide…

I fell in love with her but it made me sick. Every time I thought of the fact that another man’s lips has touched hers, or the fact that she’s been bent raw by someone else I want to throw up (like rn). I have NO hope in finding someone, and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve never felt loved, I’ve never felt special to anyone, I’ve never had anything. When I had her it was new to me and I fucked it up, she’s a bad person too, but it was my fault. And now that it’s gone, I don’t know how to live without it. I’m not one to fall in love or say I love someone easily, I really meant it. I don’t want anyone else, I want what I already know and love. How could I even when I’m still in love with her? I’ll always be in love with her because she was the first, there’s no getting over it, if you were me you would understand :c

If I wasn’t ugly this love wouldn’t be an issue. It wouldn’t have been my first. It would have just been another one. It only hurts so much because my first was at 19, I’m so attached I could never see myself with anyone else. I tell myself I’m over it sometimes and I’m done being obsessed with her, but I always look for her in people.

I don’t want to have to form new bonds, I don’t want to learn another person’s interests, I don’t want to learn about another person’s friends and family, I don’t want to learn about another person’s problems, I don’t want to learn how another person likes to be treated, I don’t want to learn another person’s favorite nicknames, I don’t want to learn another persons personality. Why would I when I already know her, and I love everything she has to offer :c

And yes, I only knew her online, which makes it so much worse. It makes me so much more pathetic. It makes it so much harder. If I knew her in person it wouldn’t have been so easy for her to shut me out. I would have NEVER made the mistakes I did. I could have gotten her to communicate how she felt. None of the problems that led to her hating me would have ever existed.

But then again, she never would have even looked at me in person, because I am so ugly

I just really wanted it to work and I really wanna kiss her I love her lips

• “I’d commit some murder, yea, all for your love” - rab

Tagging people I’ve talked to about her under some threads: @filipbrah @Matrix88 @NoExit
Maybe @coastal

@Revan is the only reason I posted this so if you enjoyed thank them

this is genuinely sad, im sorry you had to go through this

sometimes in life you just gotta accept the cards you were dealt and play them. i dont think there's any words i can say to make you feel better, so im just gonna send this silly pepe and maybe you feel a bit happier looking at him.

 

[dogedogedoge]

This is exactly how I feel. Until I get surgery I won't be able to cope with my own appearance

Yeah, but I’ll never get it. And even if I did, it would be at a point in life where it’s too late anyway, there’s no hope here

Do you want them to read this?

No. I feel so pathetic that I feel like I deserve to be laughed at and made fun of for this there is a tear in my left eye right now

 

[buccalfatremoval]

I wish I could dnr it bru but it’s so overwhelming and unexplainable, you’d know if you felt this way, but I hope you never do

Doubt I will, both getting a foid and mentally
Therapists said im schizoid which i guess adds up and I got anhedonia from abusing drugs
And im too high inhib for foids anyway, stopped bothering with it

 

[dogedogedoge]

read every molecule

we are kinda in the same situation and its over, over over over, never even began

This shit genuinely makes me feel worse than I did when I was suicidal, the times SHE saved me, but it’s nothing worth dying over

 

[dogedogedoge]

Dude stop blaming yourself and idolazing her wtf

As you said, she has more dudes and you just feel like this because ur looks don't allow you to get more women

I can’t, I basically explained why in there already, but I would literally be cucked for her, and at this point I really just want her in my life even just as friends even though I’ll always have incredibly strong feelings towards her

 

[Revan]

This shit genuinely makes me feel worse than I did when I was suicidal, the times SHE saved me, but it’s nothing worth dying over

im genuinely going to kill myself when im done looksmaxxing

 

[Matrix88]

Yeah, but I’ll never get it. And even if I did, it would be at a point in life where it’s too late anyway, there’s no hope here

Lol are u me? Anyways I'd still want surgery because if I don't ever get it I might as well kms

No. I feel so pathetic that I feel like I deserve to be laughed at and made fun of for this there is a tear in my left eye right now

Sorry bro, love you

 

[dogedogedoge]

im genuinely going to kill myself when im done looksmaxxing

what’s the point then what is it all for

 

[dogedogedoge]

Oh my god I just got a notification from her on my phone I’m ending it all

 

[Revan]

what’s the point then what is it all for

hope to turn out chad, realize i will never be, commit suicide

 

[dogedogedoge]

hope to turn out chad, realize i will never be, commit suicide

I guess

 

[dogedogedoge]

@Matrix88 @Revan @coastal @buccalfatremoval
Should I post my journal entry before this one?
I might just post them every time I write them now cuz

I feel so pathetic that I feel like I deserve to be laughed at and made fun of for this

 

[Revan]

@Matrix88 @Revan @coastal @buccalfatremoval
Should I post my journal entry before this one?
I might just post them every time I write them now cuz

i would read

 

[coastal]

@Matrix88 @Revan @coastal @buccalfatremoval
Should I post my journal entry before this one?
I might just post them every time I write them now cuz

yea post right after you write them, treating org like ur diary is high t

 

[buccalfatremoval]

Sure

@Matrix88 @Revan @coastal @buccalfatremoval
Should I post my journal entry before this one?
I might just post them every time I write them now cuz

 

[dogedogedoge]

i would read

Sure

yea post right after you write them, treating org like ur diary is high t

Thanks guys, I’ll redact names and post it.

She just posted on Instagram and I made an alt and spammed her comments with mommy n shi (she can tell it’s me from the acc)

Edit: I just threw up on the floor by my pc

 

[coastal]

and spammed her comments with mommy n shi

high t or just severely autistic? call it

 

[dogedogedoge]

high t or just severely autistic? call it

Bru she liked it she still has highlights up that she posted about me and how she loves submissive men now (I was her first)

Definitely not high t tho

 

[Matrix88]

im genuinely going to kill myself when im done looksmaxxing

Me too pal

 

[filipbrah]

Inb4 “dnr”
Inb4 “man up faggot”

Eventually, when my account is found by people I know, I hope everyone reads this and laughs at me:

I am ugly. I will never be content with myself. I will never be comfortable in my skin. There is nothing I can do to change it. I can’t even cope, my brain won’t let me.

I’ll never have a girl who loves me. Every girl has already fucked at LEAST 10 dudes, and I’ve never even held a girls hand. I am so far behind I will never find a girl that is on the same level as me. I found a girl on the internet who I guess is a whore or something and I ignored it and fell in love with her. I don’t know how it’s relevant, I guess I’m saying it’s possible for me to let it slide…

I fell in love with her but it made me sick. Every time I thought of the fact that another man’s lips has touched hers, or the fact that she’s been bent raw by someone else I want to throw up (like rn). I have NO hope in finding someone, and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve never felt loved, I’ve never felt special to anyone, I’ve never had anything. When I had her it was new to me and I fucked it up, she’s a bad person too, but it was my fault. And now that it’s gone, I don’t know how to live without it. I’m not one to fall in love or say I love someone easily, I really meant it. I don’t want anyone else, I want what I already know and love. How could I even when I’m still in love with her? I’ll always be in love with her because she was the first, there’s no getting over it, if you were me you would understand :c

If I wasn’t ugly this love wouldn’t be an issue. It wouldn’t have been my first. It would have just been another one. It only hurts so much because my first was at 19, I’m so attached I could never see myself with anyone else. I tell myself I’m over it sometimes and I’m done being obsessed with her, but I always look for her in people.

I don’t want to have to form new bonds, I don’t want to learn another person’s interests, I don’t want to learn about another person’s friends and family, I don’t want to learn about another person’s problems, I don’t want to learn how another person likes to be treated, I don’t want to learn another person’s favorite nicknames, I don’t want to learn another persons personality. Why would I when I already know her, and I love everything she has to offer :c

And yes, I only knew her online, which makes it so much worse. It makes me so much more pathetic. It makes it so much harder. If I knew her in person it wouldn’t have been so easy for her to shut me out. I would have NEVER made the mistakes I did. I could have gotten her to communicate how she felt. None of the problems that led to her hating me would have ever existed.

But then again, she never would have even looked at me in person, because I am so ugly

I just really wanted it to work and I really wanna kiss her I love her lips

• “I’d commit some murder, yea, all for your love” - rab

Tagging people I’ve talked to about her under some threads: @filipbrah @Matrix88 @NoExit
Maybe @coastal

@Revan is the only reason I posted this so if you enjoyed thank them

Bro chase your dreams life will get eventually better I feel you I have been there also not long time ago too it's never over I trust you we're all gonna make it brah

 

[dogedogedoge]

life will get eventually better

been like this for a decade so im not seein an end any time soon

also i posted another if u wanna read it:

https://looksmax.org/threads/journal-entry-5-7-26.2075201/

 

[WilhelmThyWizard]

 

[filipbrah]

been like this for a decade so im not seein an end any time soon

also i posted another if u wanna read it:

https://looksmax.org/threads/journal-entry-5-7-26.2075201/

I'll check it after I wake up gonna turn on notifications on your threads haha or tag me bhai

 

[dogedogedoge]

I'll check it after I wake up gonna turn on notifications on your threads haha or tag me bhai

ill start tagging users i never did it before cuz i thought they wouldnt care