My life is fucked

[not__cel]

I didn’t get into the school I was planning on getting into for over a year, I won’t know anyone at this new school and it’ll be the 3rd year so everyone will already be buddy buddy,
my parents got laid off, I still don’t have a girlfriend and realistically will never have one and after I took an edible to try to stop thinking about my parents getting laid off I became schizo and started seeing things which makes me a perpetual insomniac even if I take 3 tablets of melatonin a night

 

[not__cel]

I told myself if I didn’t get into this school it’d be the last strike and I’d end it all since my life has always been shitty

 

[not__cel]

I told myself if I didn’t get into this school it’d be the last strike and I’d end it all since my life has always been shitty

My life was becoming better, this was always the end result, I’ll always fail

 

[ToryToad]

sorry to hear that ,but don't kill yourself

 

[not__cel]

sorry to hear that ,but don't kill yourself

Thanks man, that’s my decision to make and if you lived through what I’ve seen which is beyond this than you’d get it
I keep seeing things and I can’t get it to stop, I don’t get much sleep either so I’m forced to live like this and my life is also deteriorating

 

[not__cel]

I think I’m just a lost cause, I should’ve roped a long time ago

 

[RXnd]

Dude are you sure u didn’t get laced or sum shit

 

[ToryToad]

I think I’m just a lost cause, I should’ve roped a long time ago

How long have you been depressed for?

 

[trench]

sad to hear that man, cant really tell you much since im in a shitty place myself

hope it gets better

 

[not__cel]

Dude are you sure u didn’t get laced or sum shit

I’m not sure but I’ve been seeing things ever since and my friend took one and he’s doing ok it’s just me

My brain has been hyperactive in mri scans since I was a little kid so that might factor into it

 

[not__cel]

How long have you been depressed for?

Probably my whole life, I was autistic even as a kid so no one would want to be friends with me

 

[ToryToad]

Probably my whole life, I was autistic even as a kid so no one would want to be friends with me

idk ,only God could help you

 

[not__cel]

sad to hear that man, cant really tell you much since im in a shitty place myself

hope it gets better

Mr robot was goated (always want to point it out for some odd reason), hope it gets better for you too I’ve just given up on myself

 

[not__cel]

idk ,only God could help you

I love god but my life is not needed in the grand scheme of things

 

[LLcel]

just hop on adderall in moderation u clearly have adhd. life gets better if u allow it to.

 

[trench]

Mr robot was goated (always want to point it out for some odd reason)

because it is goated

hope it gets better for you too I’ve just given up on myself

appreciate that but i honestly gave up on myself too tbh

 

[ToryToad]

I love god but my life is not needed in the grand scheme of things

so are you christian ,isnt it forbidden to kill yourself in christianity?

 

[trench]

just hop on adderall in moderation u clearly have adhd. life gets better if u allow it to.

doesnt do shit for me

 

[not__cel]

just hop on adderall in moderation u clearly have adhd. life gets better if u allow it to.

Thanks man, I’ve just given up

 

[not__cel]

because it is goated

appreciate that but i honestly gave up on myself too tbh

Yeah I’ve given up holding out hope, I knew my life was gonna be shitty but I didn’t think It’d be like this and I’d be forced to experience things unknown

 

[LLcel]

doesnt do shit for me

u just gotta find the right drug then. out of everything ive tried stimulants specifically adderall, dmaa, and nicotine work well for me. in comparison to alc and caffeine which i dislike. often times people fall into the trap of choosing substances like depressants that make them "feel" good but in return bring no excelling feature/effect.

 

[not__cel]

so are you christian ,isnt it forbidden to kill yourself in christianity?

Yes but my only hope is to do it and pray, there’s no use holding out

 

[trench]

u just gotta find the right drug then. out of everything ive tried stimulants specifically adderall, dmaa, and nicotine work well for me. in comparison to alc and caffeine which i dislike. often times people fall into the trap of choosing substances like depressants that make them "feel" good but in return bring no excelling feature/effect.

i did, its temporary tho and i cant just cope with it forever

life is shitty and taking drugs wont permanentely change that fact

 

[Latinolooksmaxxer]

what school you wanted

 

[LLcel]

i did, its temporary tho and i cant just cope with it forever

life is shitty and taking drugs wont permanentely change that fact

yeah well u nor i have any power to change that. the label "cope" doesnt do enough justice for some of the inequalities of life especially when it comes to neurodivergence. on the bright side you're smarter than virtually everyone you meet in ways you might not even know. try to stop dwelling on this life and instead focus on maximizing its achievable output, whether thats with the aid of drugs or not.

 

[not__cel]

what school you wanted

It was a regional school but it had great programs and is a very highly ranked school. Its Fucked

 

[Latinolooksmaxxer]

It was a regional school but it had great programs and is a very highly ranked school. Its Fucked

you can still do great in your career dont let school define you bhai stay stronk

 

[not__cel]

i did, its temporary tho and i cant just cope with it forever

life is shitty and taking drugs wont permanentely change that fact

Yeah and most drugs don’t mesh well with me mentally because I hallucinate very quickly and I’m schizo so It’s mostly bad

 

[not__cel]

you can still do great in your career dont let school define you bhai stay stronk

What school? This was gonna set me up for success and I knew someone attending so I didn’t have to feel stuck in a loop, there’s no trying to fix it anymore this was the last straw