chemcel
Iron
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2026
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This is the first and probably only post I will make on this website but just needed to vent a little bit about some self pity I guess because I am NOT paying for a cope therapist 
. It started in grade 4. Relentless bullying from people who were supposed to be my friends until grade 8. Enduring that while still growing destroyed my mental state and inhibition. Even though I was cursed with ADHD, which should hypothetically give u a higher inhibition, I was terrified of doing anything due to the fact that I was constantly made fun of doing anything out of the ānormā for years. So for my whole life I had never had a best friend or even a friend at all. I would basically spend my days until high school walking home and crying and then lying down and doing work before going to bed. When I got to high school my inhibition and social fears were so bad that I would spend days without talking and would be terrified of any social interaction. The vyvance I was taking also did not help in the slightest. To make it worse my body had decided that i was the perfect candidate for idiopathic short stature! So while everyone was growing and making friends I was 5ā0 and looked like he was in grade 5. No high schooler wanted to hangout with a 5th grader. No girl wanted to hookup with 5 th grader lmao. Just like that the one blessing of my family was gone. Height. Both my brothers where well over 6 feet and my younger sister was 5 inches taller then me. Due to my idiopathic short stature I would be lucky to touch 5ā10. In the summer of grade 9 I started pinning hgh and taking an a aromatose inhibitor. I had not made any friends yet and I felt like a loser for the first half of grade 10. However, as the second semester rolled around things began to change. I actually started growing and gaining some confidence. I started making friends. I started to be happy. I had grown 6 inches in half a year. My life finally seemed like it was back on track. My head was in a great mental state. I was working out getting straight Aās and making friends. I went into the summer happy and looking for a girl. When the summer ended I started taking my vyvance again and thatās when everything changed. Iām not sure if it was the ai, a bad reaction to the vyvance or what, but after that day I felt the worst depression ever. It was so bad I wasnāt even aware of my life. My brain felt horrible I couldnāt remeber shit. I could barely think. And my motivation was completely out the window. I didnāt grow at all from August-February and I was in a horrible spirits I stopped taking the Ai in march but nothing changed . My grades where horrible and my psyche was a complete mess. I was finding trouble doing simple things like brushing my teeth , washing my face even getting out of bed was an insurmountable chore. Then I got fucking scoliosis. Fuck my life. Itās now may. Nothing really has changed. I donāt know what to do. Sometimes I wonder why my life has gone this way. Sometimes I wonder if there is an alternate reality where Everything has gone right for me instead of wrong. I wonder if that person is happy and what he is thinking right now. What he is excited for.
. It started in grade 4. Relentless bullying from people who were supposed to be my friends until grade 8. Enduring that while still growing destroyed my mental state and inhibition. Even though I was cursed with ADHD, which should hypothetically give u a higher inhibition, I was terrified of doing anything due to the fact that I was constantly made fun of doing anything out of the ānormā for years. So for my whole life I had never had a best friend or even a friend at all. I would basically spend my days until high school walking home and crying and then lying down and doing work before going to bed. When I got to high school my inhibition and social fears were so bad that I would spend days without talking and would be terrified of any social interaction. The vyvance I was taking also did not help in the slightest. To make it worse my body had decided that i was the perfect candidate for idiopathic short stature! So while everyone was growing and making friends I was 5ā0 and looked like he was in grade 5. No high schooler wanted to hangout with a 5th grader. No girl wanted to hookup with 5 th grader lmao. Just like that the one blessing of my family was gone. Height. Both my brothers where well over 6 feet and my younger sister was 5 inches taller then me. Due to my idiopathic short stature I would be lucky to touch 5ā10. In the summer of grade 9 I started pinning hgh and taking an a aromatose inhibitor. I had not made any friends yet and I felt like a loser for the first half of grade 10. However, as the second semester rolled around things began to change. I actually started growing and gaining some confidence. I started making friends. I started to be happy. I had grown 6 inches in half a year. My life finally seemed like it was back on track. My head was in a great mental state. I was working out getting straight Aās and making friends. I went into the summer happy and looking for a girl. When the summer ended I started taking my vyvance again and thatās when everything changed. Iām not sure if it was the ai, a bad reaction to the vyvance or what, but after that day I felt the worst depression ever. It was so bad I wasnāt even aware of my life. My brain felt horrible I couldnāt remeber shit. I could barely think. And my motivation was completely out the window. I didnāt grow at all from August-February and I was in a horrible spirits I stopped taking the Ai in march but nothing changed . My grades where horrible and my psyche was a complete mess. I was finding trouble doing simple things like brushing my teeth , washing my face even getting out of bed was an insurmountable chore. Then I got fucking scoliosis. Fuck my life. Itās now may. Nothing really has changed. I donāt know what to do. Sometimes I wonder why my life has gone this way. Sometimes I wonder if there is an alternate reality where Everything has gone right for me instead of wrong. I wonder if that person is happy and what he is thinking right now. What he is excited for.
